The following conversation took place outside of the [REDACTED] National Park, home of SCP-1006.
"So, Dan, welcome to Observation Post 45. I trust that the drive was fine?"
"It.. uh. It was. I was told to drive three states away from Kansas for..a bunch of spiders?"
"Not just any spiders. These spiders are smart." "..You're kidding."
"I'm serious. These spiders are smart. Notice all the poster boards?" "Yeah..?"
"I've asked them to write a message to welcome you, if they wanted to."
"..Wait- What? Really?"
"Y- Yeah. They wrote that you were just another member of the bourgeoisie and declined."
"They what?"
"Yeah, they have a semblance of a Marxist government and ..don't take well to outsiders."
"You're bullshitting me."
"I am not. Tell me, Dan. What books do you like to read?"
"Oh. I.. uh. I like Ayn Rand and George Orwell, 1984 and that kind of stuff."
"Yeah, I've got a feeling you should never read those again."
"They're just spiders, man! What could they possibly do?"
"They're not -just- spiders. There's thousands of them. They've shown the ability to grasp complex ideas and communicate."
"Are they venomous?"
"No, but they're very spiteful."