The following is a partial list of objects regarded as 'Safe' on the S/E/K scale, which Agent Schism has recovered in the field. Until deemed otherwise, these objects may remain in his safekeeping.
Item #27: A piece of paper with a printed copy of a random painting within the Paris Art Gallery. When turned over, this paper's opposite side contains a different painting. Every time the object is flipped, a different painting appears.
Could be useful for testing potential precogs. I don't think we should test this thing with Cassy, though, fun as she might find it. -Schism
Item #33: A normal-seeming rewritable CD, unlabeled, which scratches the lens of any drive in which it's placed beyond repair.
I used to have a spindle of these. Only difference is, this one breaks them *every* time. -Schism
Item #49: A drapery curtain for a window, light grey and approximately 1.2 meters in length and 1.8 meters in height, which also blocks any sound to or from the window it's placed against.
Item #64: A Rubik's cube which changes its segmentation between 2x2 and 9x9 once every ten seconds, at random, after being left untouched for one minute. When changing, the colours on each side also randomize, though the puzzle never changes to an unsolveable state. Solving this puzzle appears to have no effect on anything around it.
Item #192:A clay ashtray with dinosaurs painted upon the rim. When left unviewed for at least two minutes, all nicotine-related products within its radius disappear, including ash and filters. The effect appears to extend to approximately six centimeters above and two centimeters around the receptacle.
Useful, but don't expect that I'll be sticking my fingers in there anytime soon. -Schism
Item #200: A very realistic sculpture of SCP-682 in its resting state, composed of clay. Sculpture is entirely inert. Item recovered from an elementary school's art class in ████████, ████, on ██/██/20██. The student was shipped to ████████ immediately.
Item #207: A BIC pen which, when clicked, sprays red ink at a range of roughly 1.5 meters. The spray continues until the pen is clicked off again. This ink is harmless (with the exception of eye contact), and has been determined to be indistinguishable from that of a normal BIC pen.
There's this ████ driver that keeps running off with my pens. I'd give him this if I thought I'd ever see it again. -Schism
Item #259: A crocheted afghan blanket, crimson and white, which radiates heat, approximately 5.5ºC above the temperature of the surrounding room. Does not appear to react to the touch of a living creature, but averages body heat when wrapped around a person.
Item #325: A highly-fossilized bakery croissant. Upon chipping off a corner, it would appear that the flaky layers are still preserved. Useless, save as a bludgeon.
Item #381: A highball glass, holding approximately 8 oz. of liquid, which cools most liquid substances placed in it to approximately 10.2ºC. Living flesh appears immune to this cooling effect.
Editor's note: What would the SCP Foundation do with a book that provided futuristic technology? Especially if that book, though ostensibly focused on its readers' interests, largely provided weaponry specs? I suppose we might not know for sure…but here's the book itself.
Item #: SCP-XXX
Object Class: Safe (Pending: Euclid)
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be stored in a sealed vault, of a variety which can only be accessed by personnel of [REDACTED] class or higher. Access can be granted by a valid user for up to two hours, after which SCP-XXX must be returned to the vault. Failure to return this SCP in the appropriate time frame is cause for demotion and/or Keter-maintenance duty.
Description: SCP-XXX's appearance is similar to a monthly 'science and home engineering' magazine, approx. 25 cm. in height, 10 cm. in width, and 1 cm. in depth. The book or magazine itself seems to be printed on wood pulp, judging by the quality of paper, with an ink currently undergoing compositional analysis.
The cover of the magazine is, effectively, a high-quality dust jacket, similar to those produced for 'trade paperbacks': the cover is slightly porous, and much less likely to tear. The illustration on the cover appears to be a watercolour image of New York City, drawn from atop the Rockefeller Center building; a notable point is that one building of the World Trade Center appears to remain standing. The title of the magazine reads 'Scientific Atlantean', and several captions sit below, summarizing numerous articles, among which are the following:
* What to do when your nanotech goes rogue?
* Slime molds: Advantages and disadvantages
When a subject opens the magazine, they find a full-spread, fully-coloured layout of a supposedly 'scientific' project, geared towards their own interests and/or their field of study. These have ranged, thus far, from futuristic medical proposals to high-class weaponry, sufficiently advanced to obliterate 10 square kilometres of land.
Upon viewing the projected diagram, subjects have found themselves unable to focus on anything else for an extended period of time, often approximating twelve hours. The afflicted subjects began a pattern of 'searching and integrating', finding the requisite materials, then attaching them to a central 'node'. If a piece is unable to be found, the subject will occasionally skip steps, returning to them once another portion of the project has been completed.
If the project cannot be completed, the subject will begin to methodically disassemble the partial creation, in a near reversal of their prior actions, returning each of the parts to their prior locale. After this, the subject will return to the magazine, turning the pages until they find another, similar project. Once the subject has completed this observation, the process repeats; observers have noted that the project, while containing some similarities, places a higher focus on those mechanical parts which have exist in the area.
Efforts to study the magazine's contents, save for in proximity of the SCP itself, have been shown to be fruitless, as it seems to actively resist copying - while the effect on biological subjects may seem to warrant a 'memetic' classification, it has no interest in reproduction. Thus far, the efforts to clarify this SCP's protective abilities are as follows:
* Effort #1: A Motorola SRD-201 camera-phone was used to attempt to capture the contents of one page, from a range of approximately 1 meter.
* Result #1: A slight spark was recorded within the telephone, as well as a sudden smell of ozone. Examination revealed several burned-out chips, with scorch marks on the inside of the case, and a breach of the battery's integrity.
* Effort #2: A Kodak digital camera, purchased immediately prior to the test from a local electronics store, was used at a range of 10 meters, with a zoom feature providing what would have been a clear image of the page itself.
* Result #2: Similar to the first attempt, a spark and a smell of ozone were recorded, after which it was discovered that the camera's MicroSD card had been broken into four pieces. No other damage to the camera was noted, and it performed properly after the card was replaced.
* Effort #3: A Polaroid instant camera, again purchased immediately prior to the test, was used at a range of .5 meters. Four photographs of the book were taken, and allowed to develop over a course of 5 minutes.
* Result #3: Each photograph developed normally, but instead of the expected image of the book, a copyright-protection notice was shown on each. This notice was written on each snapshot in a different language - English, French, German, and a variety of Aramaic - and states that unauthorized copying is a severe offense. No information was provided in regards to punishment for this offense, but further efforts to copy this SCP's pages have now been tabled.
