Grouchy Trousers
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-1050

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1050 is to be kept in a standard clothing locker equipped with a lock. The key to this lock can be requested from agent ███████ at any time.

Description: SCP-1050 is a pair of size 33" Levis-501 men's jeans. Testing has shown that SCP-1050 will regenerate damage. SCP-1050 has regenerated from damage caused by incision, tearing, chemical damage, and partial and complete incineration. If disposed of or destroyed completely, SCP-1050 will reform inside a random clothing container (closet, locker, etcetera, though it has been known to reform in garbage bins if given no alternative) within a five hundred (500) meter radius. It shows a 'preference' to reform in a container holding other jeans and a preference for jeans of it's own brand over that.

SCP-1050 is sentient and can communicate vocally; it's voice has been described as male, 'throaty and unpleasant' and to have a German (Bavarian) accent.

When worn, SCP-1050 will complain loudly and constantly about any and all offending traits and activities of it's wearer and seek other means of causing embarassment to it's wearer, apparantly for it's own amusement.

SCP-1050 are otherwise a standard pair of jeans, requiring no nourishment or other maintenance, though it has requested to be washed once monthly and after every experiment. This request is still pending for approval.

When not worn, after roughly seven (7) days, SCP-1050 somehow moves itself to the top of any clothing stack it resides in to increase the likelyhood of it being worn. It is unknown at this time how it achieves this; video surveilance shows it simply dissapearing from the stack and on top of the stack roughly two seconds later. Height of the stack seems to be no influence. Space between the top of the stack and the top of the container is also no issue as the delay between SCP-1050's dissapearance and reappearance suffices for a space to be created.

Addendum: SCP-1050 first came to the attention of the Foundation when it randomly appeared in a Levis & Co clothing store in █████████ mall in █████████ - likely after having been disposed of by a previous owner. Customers who tried on SCP-1050 were understandably shaken but otherwise unharmed; upon retrieval of SCP-1050 the explanation was given that SCP-1000 were a missing pair of one-off trial jeans to test integration of audio equipment with clothing, tampered with by a disgruntled employee of the Levis & Co factory that creates this brand of jeans. No further incidents were reported.

Interview 1050-1
Agent ███████, the operative originally charged with retrieving SCP-135, volunteered to don them for the purpose of an interview as SCP-1050 seems incapable of communication when not worn. Transcription follows.

<Interview begins>
█████: How are you feeling, 1050?
SCP-1050: OY! Get your stinking ass out of me! Did you shower this morning? MAN!
███████: I most certainly did. Proceed, please, mister █████
█████: Very well. 1050, can you tell us how you became selfaware?
SCP-1050: You must be the hairiest man that's ever worn me, ███████! Have you considered a career in the circus?
███████: 1050 seems completely uncooperative. Not uncomfortable, though, despite being quite large on me.
█████: Let's stick to procedure, agent. 1050, *can* you communicate at all?
SCP-1050: Of course i bloody well can communicate. But not as long as i'm worn by mr. Commando here!
███████: [unintelligable, mumbled]
█████: For the record, ███████, are you wearing undergarments?
███████: … No.
SCP-1050: And he's got nothing to be proud of in here, let me tell you.
███████: Shut up, 1050!
SCP-1050: What, affraid she'll find out you wouldn't have what it takes?
███████: That's it. I'm taking these off.
█████: Wait. 1050, please tell us, if you know, how you became self-aware and capable of communicating.
SCP-1050: I'm not going to say anything untill mr needle[REDACTED] here puts on a pair of - Oh my god! Did you just [REDACTED]? [EXPLETIVE REDACTED], ███████, those beans must've been past their date!
Agent ███████ removed SCP-1050 at this point and flung them across the room, leaving the room in an irate state. In doing so he exposed himself to three female, and four male personell - Agent ███████ has been severely reprimanded.
█████: … Alright, then. That, i suppose ends this interview.
<Interview ends>

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