Researcher V. A. Eisenberg

<EchoFourDelta> Mostly for the "A=43.2[unknown symbol]**2i" part in the little addendum at the bottom. I mean, if they
+can't type it, the symbol wouldn't show up as such while you were making the report, and it would be a simple matter if
+intent and clearance to do so were there to just includa picture.

SCP-1960 and SCP-1217 - the messages are rather similar. What could be messing with pictures of neptune ,and forcing cat suicides?

More files

can be found here



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Item #: SCP-1436

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1436 is to be housed in a Standard Humanoid Containment Suite, as defined per norm CSG-1165-H-NV-5 with regards to humanoid entities posing low risk of containment breach, on Site-17.

SCP-1436 is to receive three meals per day, according to a monthly meal plan approved by Site-17 dietician. When not requisitioned for Procedure 83-Pygmalion, SCP-1436 is to spend 3-5 hours per day performing moderate cardiovascular exercise, under the oversight of two security personnel.

SCP-1436 is to undergo monthly health checks, and his blood pressure and heart rate is to be monitored and logged daily, at discretion of assigned medical personnel.

After every enactment of Procedure 83-Pygmalion, SCP-1436 is to be interviewed by an assigned psychologist with 2/1436 clearance; audio logs of such sessions are to be recorded and archived for a period of six months.

SCP-1436 may be administered Class-A amnesiacs based on assessment by assigned personnel; due to adverse health effects, the usage of such is to be logged, and any usage exceeding 12 dose-equivalent units per month has to be approved by the current head of research.

In the case of an emergency, SCP-1436 is to receive medical attention in precedence to site staff if necessary.

Requisitioning of SCP-1436 for experimentation requires submitting a written summary of experiment intended, including risk assessment form FHS-5, to be signed by at least two personnel with 2/1436 clearance.

Any use of SCP-1436 as defined in Procedure 83-Pygmalion takes priority over experimentation. If the need to perform Procedure 83-Pygmalion arises while an experiment is taking place, this is to be suspended unless such an action would cause significant resource waste, in which case the experiment is to proceed in an expedited manner until such a suspension is possible.

All experimentation on SCP-1436 has been suspended by order of O5.

Description: SCP-1436 is the designation given to Andrei D████████, a 43 year old Caucasian male of slim build, formerly working for ███████ s.r.l in ██████, Republic of Moldova as an mortuary assistant. SCP-1436 measures 1.74 metres in height, and weighs ~70 kg. His physical anatomy is consistent with that of a non-anomalous human male of his age and constitution. Psychological examination has shown SCP-1436 to be of normal intellect (measured IQ 97) ,and has been determined asexual; the events of his recovery and what is known of his previous life suggest this is a recent development.

The anomalous properties of SCP-1436 manifest when SCP-1436 copulates with a complete or partial human cadaver, and ejaculates.The presence of SCP-1436's semen (designated SCP-1436-1) causes spontaneous reanimation of tissues, starting at the point of contact, and spreading out radially at the approximate rate of 5cm/s. Tissues so reanimated behave identically to living tissues; furthermore, for a time proportional to the amount of injected SCP-1436-1, the tissues within the host body will repeatedly reanimate if exposed to lethal factors.
Composition of SCP-1436-1 shows no significant deviation from that of non-anomalous reference1; furthermore, harvested SCP-1436-1 appears unable to reanimate human tissues.

Recovery log: On ██/██/1995 during scheduled lunch break, Artiom L██████ , another employee of ███████ s.r.l was alerted to shouting, screaming and loud noises coming from the cold chamber room. Forcing the door, he discovered SCP-1436 nude and covered in blood, hitting repeatedly what according to his testimony appeared to be a still living human body2 with a fire extinguisher. A. L██████ proceeded to subdue SCP-1436, and contact the local police, which resulted in SCP-1436's arrest for indignities to human remains. Examination of C. C███████'s body found SCP-1436's skin under her fingernails corresponding to injuries on his chest and arms, and the nature of her injuries and subsequent bleeding required cardiovascular activity to take place during the incident3 . This information, coupled with A. L███████'s testimony and initial questioning of SCP-1436 as it appeared in the preliminary police report attracted the attention of cpt. Alexei N█████, the Foundation liaison in the district police department.
SCP-1436 was subsequently removed from police custody under the pretext of psychiatric assessment, interviewed, and placed into containment.


TEST #: 1436/I.2
SUBJECT: D-242, 28 year old female, deceased. Death caused by cardiac arrest due to electrocution during SCP-███ containment breach 6 hours before experiment.
PROCEDURE: Procedure Pygmalion-A attempted.
RESULT: Procedure Pygmalion-A enacted successfully. Subject remained alive until scheduled termination. No significant changes in physical health following Test 1436/I.1 recorded. While no significant changes to physical health were observed, subject diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, likely a result of experimental procedure.

TEST #: 1436/I.3A
SUBJECT: D-352, 40 year old male, deceased. Death caused by ingestion of potassium cyanide ~1 hour before experiment.
PROCEDURE: Procedure Pygmalion-A attempted.
RESULT: Procedure Pygmalion-A enacted successfully.. Subject reanimated thirty seconds after SCP-1436 ejaculated. Subject proceeded to show symptoms of cyanide poisoning for the duration of cca. 15 minutes, then expired.

TEST #: 1436/I.3B
SUBJECT: D-352, as Test 1436/I.2A
PROCEDURE: Procedure Pygmalion-A attempted. Subject intravenously administered hydroxycobalamine and sodium thiosulphate as antidote to hydrogen cyanide upon reanimation.
RESULT: Procedure Pygmalion-A enacted successfully. Subject proceeded to show symptoms of cyanide poisoning. Following administration of antidote as outlined in the procedure, the symptoms of cyanide poisoning receded as expected. Subject remained alive until scheduled termination. While no significant changes to physical health were observed, subject diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, likely a result of experimental procedure.

TEST #: 1436/II.1
SUBJECT: D-143, male, 36 years old, decapitated ~5 minutes prior to experiment.
PROCEDURE: Procedure Pygmalion-A attempted on torso of subject. Head of subject observed.
RESULT: Procedure Pygmalion-A enacted successfully. Torso of subject remained alive for ~15 minutes after reanimation, with heart and lungs appearing to operate. Head did not reanimate.

TEST #: 1436/III.2
SUBJECT: Arm removed at shoulder cca. 15 minutes prior to experiment. (D-135, female, 29 year old)
PROCEDURE: SCP-1436-1 applied at cutoff point.
RESULT: Arm did not reanimate.

TEST #: 1436/III.6
SUBJECT: As Test 1436/III.2
PROCEDURE:SCP-1436 fitted with an urinal catheter, leading into arm at cutoff point.
RESULT: Arm did not reanimate.

TEST #: 1436/III.24
SUBJECT: As Test 1436/III.2; D-124, 35 year old female deceased two days earlier.
PROCEDURE: Procedure Pygmalion-A attempted. During reanimation a sample of SCP-1436-1 transferred to arm and applied at cutoff point.
RESULT: Procedure Pygmalion-A enacted successfully. D-124 reanimated 29 seconds after Procedure Pygmalion-A terminated. Sample of SCP-1436-1 harvested and applied as outlined in experimental procedure.. Arm did not reanimate.

TEST #: 1436/III.C
SUBJECT: As Test 1436/III.2
PROCEDURE: Control test. Procedure Pygmalion-A attempted.
RESULT: Procedure Pygmalion-A enacted successfully. Arm remained alive for ~18 minutes after reanimation.

Note: Unfortunately, it appears that no matter what we do, attempts at isolating active samples of SCP-1436-1, or even inserting a level of separation between SCP-1436 and target to be reanimated have been met with wholesale failure. Until more is understood about the process, all Group III testing is to be suspended. - Head Researcher Antonov.

Addendum 1436-2: LOG OF SCP-1436 REQUESTS

  • ██/██/1995: To be transported back to prison. (Denied)
  • ██/██/1995: To see his wife (Denied)
  • ██/██/1995: A bottle of vodka (Denied)
  • ██/██/1995: A transistor radio in order to access daily sports news. (Denied. Subject granted access to recordings of sports broadcast of Radio Moldova, subject to three-day delay for censorship.)
  • ██/██/1995: To not be forced to copulate with male corpses. (Denied; request repeated at regular intervals over next 8 months.)
  • ██/██/1996. To not be forced to copulate with male corpses; subject proceeded to attempt self-harm. (Request partially approved: while Procedure 83-Pygmalion is to be carried out on any deceased individual of interest regardless of gender, experimentation on SCP-1436 is to use male corpses in at most 1 in 10 instances, in order to encourage compliance and avoid further worsening of SCP-1436's mental state. Subject provided with the services of on-site psychologist.)
  • ██/██/1996: That all male corpses provided be shaven and given a wig. (Approved.)

Addendum 1436-3:

TO: O5 Council
FROM: Site Director Iovanescu
SUBJECT: SCP-1436 Future.
As you know, Procedure 83-Pygmalion has proven invaluable in recovering crucial information both from KIA personnel, and captured GOI agents. However, SCP-1436 isn't getting any younger. With luck, we might have 20-30 years of service available, and that is ignoring the possibility of fatal or disabling accidents, diseases, or kidnapping attempts. As SCP-1436's anomalous abilities appear tied to his body, I propose both a) attempting to clone and duplicate multiple instances of SCP-1436 both using conventional methods and certain objects contained by the Foundation, namely [REDACTED], and b) raising a large number of male direct offspring of SCP-1436 and screening them for similar anomalous properties once they reach sexual maturity. While the theoretical basis for the success of either project is flimsy, I believe the potential benefits far outweigh the expenses and difficulty involved. Preliminary plans along with projected expenses attached.
I await your decision.
Site Director Vadim Iovanescu

Addendum 1436-4:

TO:Site Director Iovanescu
FROM: O5 Council
SUBJECT: RE: SCP-1436 Future.
Regardless of how useful Procedure 83-Pygmalion is, the Foundation is not in the business of deliberately creating SCPs. More specifically, the Foundation is not in the business of deliberately creating sapient humanoid SCPs which would need to be trained to defile corpses. Your proposal for a breeding program has been rejected.


Player Name



Vladim A. Eisenberg, ктн.


"Careful" Materials Researcher


  • WESTERNERS! Unlike a lot of his countrymen, Researcher Eisenberg harbours a deep distrust of western-made equipment and supplies, and a similarly unshakeable faith in kit engineered in the former eastern block. Be it through the power of wishful thinking, or simply familiarity, he actually tends to achieve better results using the latter, regardless of objective qualities.
  • Entropomancer The second law of thermodynamics might as well have been derived observing Researcher Eisenberg in his office. Able to brave mountains of reports, documents and drawers filled to the brim with random junk that might prove useful some day, he has little problem digging out whatever from whenever. On the flip side, chaos tends to follow him around.
  • Making it to pension Researcher Eisenberg is a firm believer in discretion being the better part of valor. As such, he's likely the first one to notice when things go wrong, or are about to. When things go *really* wrong, though, he tends to make like a tree.


  • Academics: 4 (English, Russian)
  • Perception: 8
  • Persuasion: 4
  • Science: 8
  • Technology (Mechanical): 6
  • Ranged Weapons: 6
  • Physical Defense: 6
  • Mental Defense: 4
  • Body: 6
  • Mind: 4
  • Action Points: 3
  • Load Limit:
  • XP Held: 0
  • XP Used: 0




Tokarev TT-33 pistol.
Old "Победа" brand armwatch.
"Nastasia" - an SCP-692-1 impregnated with a housecat. Usually stays in Vladim's office, sleeping on papers, playing with screws or random small pieces of kit, and hunting flies, spiders and the like. Somewhat distrustful of strangers.
Folding knife (knife, can opener, bottle opener).
A small sewing kit.
A thermos bottle.
Pocket logarithmic ruler.

Personal History

Born in Mukacevo, Ukrainian SSR. Father agricultural engineer, mother teacher. Two siblings - Older David agricultural engineer, currently unemployed, while younger Leonid attempted to get into "private enterprise", and was arrested robbing the government on tax returns from fictitious trades. Studied materials science on Charkov Polytechnic. Joined the Foundation in 1998 as a fresh graduate after being involved in joint research between the Foundation and the Ukrainian government relating to an outbreak of SCP-836. Done his post-gradual studies while working for the Foundation as one of the researchers overseeing production on Site-35. After the [REDACTED] attack on Site-35, and resulting containment breach Researcher Eisenberg was one of the ██ survivors, found four days later in a janitor's closet in the administrative building, dehydrated, delirious, and hugging a stuffed lynx claiming it to be "Uncle Fedor from Volgograd". He has since made a full recovery, and been assigned to Area-354 recently.


5'10'' , 220 lbs, black hair.
Used to be in shooting club during school, and attend events, got to countrywide competition in 1988 - fifth place. The participant's diploma hangs in his office.


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Note: This document has been designated a Lethe-class infohazard. Your access has been logged and you will submit to an examination to assess its impact no later than two days from this moment. If you have accessed this document unintentionally, cease reading immediately and contact the Cognitohazard Research Group.

A containment vessel constructed from SCP-022-J.

Item #: SCP-022-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Due to widespread public knowledge of SCP-022-J, containment of SCP-022-J is limited to mitigating the damage caused by its effects. To this effects, the following procedures are to be enacted:

  • The availability of SCP-022-J is to be reduced by means including but not limited to: Suppressing research into more efficient methods of refining SCP-022-J ores; limiting the mining of areas rich in SCP-022-J ores under the guise of eg. protection of endemic species4 ; using front companies to artificially drive up the price of SCP-022-J, in order to limit the damage due to effects of SCP-022-J-1.
  • Suppressing public awareness of SCP-022-J physical properties to prevent SCP-022-J-2 effects from manifesting. To this effect, media containing counterfactual information with regards to the physical properties and proper uses of SCP-022-J are to be produced and propagated.
  • Suppressing public awareness of SCP-022-J 's anomalous properties.
  • Treatment of individuals severely affected by SCP-022-J-2 by Class-B amnesiacs.

Because the risks SCP-022-J-1 poses to Foundation personnel, especially those in charge of designing containment procedures, any containment procedures proposal containing relevant keywords are to be checked by personnel immunized against SCP-022-J-1. Calming agents of choice (chocolate, beer, Diazepam,Xanax,cannabis) are to be avaliable to such personnel to mitigate the effects of SCP-022-J-2.

Description: SCP-022-J is the pure, solid form of chemical element commonly known as titanium (Ti), of atomic number of 22, and average molar mass of 47.86 g/mol. In its active state, SCP-022-J appears as a shiny, hard solid of density approximately 4.5 g/ccm, and melting point of approximately 1940 K. SCP-022-J behaves as a paramagnetic metal in most aspects, and possesses a tensile strength of roughly 434 MPa, remarkable for its low density.

SCP-022-J is an infohazard - knowledge about it causes the manifestation of two distinct sets of symptoms, designated SCP-022-J-1 and SCP-022-J-2.

SCP-022-J-1 initially manifests when an individual with no prior knowledge is exposed to incomplete or erroneous information about SCP-022-J's physical properties ,and its recommended usage.
Individuals under the effects of SCP-022-J-1 will gradually begin to assert the superiority of SCP-022-Js a structural material, and recommend or attempt to enforce its use as such whenever possible, even in cases where this has a significant negative effect on functionality. Common terms used by affected individuals with reference to SCP-022-J-1 include "strongest metal in the world" , "supertough supermetal" , "refined, impenetrable metal" and "The He-Man of materials". In the cases where this behaviour induces a performance failure or deficiency, an affected individual will refuse to acknowledge THAT THEY FUCKED UP SERIOUSLY WHO THE FUCK MAKES A TITANIUM ANCHOR SCP-022-J's role in the incident, inventing increasingly bizarre alternative explanations.

SCP-022-J-2 manifests when an individual FUCKING GETS A CLUE SHEESH IS IT SO HARD TO READ A GODDAMN STANDARD is exposed to accurate information about SCP-022-J's physical properties, and correct recommended usage guidelines. Individuals already affected by SCP-022-J-1 CAN'T FUCKING GET IT IN THEIR GODDAMN HEADS WITH A HAMMER IF I HEAR ABOUT TITANIUM BEING THE STRONGEST METAL I WILL PUNCH THEM IN THE DICK WITH A FIST MADE OF show considerable resistance to SCP-022-J-2.
Subjects affected by SCP-022-J-2 display signs of anger and mental distress at mentions of pure titanium or its usage, to the point of becoming physically violent. This is especially marked when the trigger are usual vectors of SCP-022-J-1, such as media containing examples of inappropriate uses of SCP-022-J.

Addendum 022-J-1:

Incident 022-J-1:
Foreword: On ██/07/201█, while working on SCP-022-J report, Researcher Eisenberg, further referred to as subject, succumbed to the effects of SCP-022-J-2. Transcript of security camera footage follows.
<19:00> Subject commences work on SCP-022-J report.
<19:30> Subject commences chewing on a pencil.
<19:41> Subject bites pencil through.
<19:44> Subject ceases spitting out splinters, curses loudly.
<19:49> Subject loosens his tie, takes out an unidentified pill, and swallows it, taking a drink from nearby flowerpot, slumping on the chair.
<19:54> Subject resumes work.
<20:38> Subject 's typing rate increases.
<20:39> Subject begins bashing the keyboard with his fists..
<20:40> Subject tears out keyboard from workstation, and runs out into the joining hall, screaming incoherently.
<20:45> Subject uses keyboard to assault a security guard, yelling "I'LL GIVE YOU TITANIUM CAGES I'LL GIVE YOU TITANIUM TITS YOU CUNTWHACKED ASSCHEEKS", and is promptly subjugated.
Closing Statement: Researcher Eisenberg was restrained, and isolated in Section-5 Medical Wing on Site-19. Researcher Eisenberg's 2/022-J clearance was revoked, and he is relieved of his duties until his mental state stabilizes. Work on SCP-022-J documentation overhaul has been suspended, and the existing document classified as a Lethe-class infohazard.


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SCP-1436, Factory logo visible

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe/Euclid/Keter (indicate which class)

Special Containment Procedures: [Paragraphs explaining the Procedures]

Description: [Paragraphs explaining the Description]

Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]


They don't come anymore.
I remember when they used to come every day. Talking quietly among themselves, walking through. Few of them ever talked to me, but them being here was enough to keep one amused through the days. Every now and then, they'd give me one of theirs. One that couldn't walk or talk anymore. Maybe it was a payment - what one of them always did before sort of hurt… but it didn't matter. I wouldn't mind if it hurt.. if all of them were here, walking.
If he was here.
He stayed, almost all the time… He was one of the few who talked to me, he'd return from somewhere away with an unsteady gait, drop down into the grass, and we'd talk, until he stopped moving. At those times I could even touch him, feel his surface. It was different, nice, soft and warm.
Some nights he didn't go, usually one or two nights after they'd given me another of theirs - instead he'd open a hole in me again, take out the one that was inside - they always put them inside boxes made of tree - do something with them, then put them back in. Through time I learned to help him open the holes, it was easier, so much easier for both of us.
Those were the best times, times with him
One night like that, another man came and walked through. *He stopped for a while, then ran away, then walked back next day, with two others, with heavy boots. They grabbed him, just as he was touching the flowers growing near my end, and took him away.
He never came back, and I don't know why. I wanted to be with him forever, he loved me, he talked to me. I tried to talk to the others, but they didn't listen when there were many, and they ran away when they were alone.
Then, soon, another man came and wanted to make a hole. But, he wasn't him. He didn't love me, he didn't talk to me. I tried to touch him, but he run away. Ungrateful, vile. Not like him at all.
But still, at least some things happened then.. walking, talking, a lot of things. I waited, many days, but he didn't come back. The others came less often, and were slower and slower, until one day they didn't come anymore.
I waited and waited.
A few times, some of them would come back, alone, or in small groups. I was so happy, doesn't matter it wasn't him, it was someone. I tried to greet them, help them, do anything for them, but they too were vile and ungrateful. One of them I tried to keep from running, and it worked - he went down, on one of the big stone slabs they have hauled in, and stopped moving. I was happy for a while - he wasn't him, he didn't walk or talk, but at least he stayed. I took him in, making a hole myself.. .that's what is proper, because that's what *he* did… even when he took them out, he put them back later. Besides, it hurts a lot less when I do it myself, I found. So, it's what I did with every one that stopped moving.
Then, one day, a lot of them came again. I was happy, so happy, it'd be like the old times again, maybe even he'd show up again. But he didn't.. instead they put metal rods into me, and did a lot of things, and then they left, and noone came or stayed since. Oh, one of them stayed.. but he was just like the ones I talked about. Meh.

And now they don't come anymore. Nobody does. I can't stand it.. everything is the same, there are no footsteps, no talk. Maybe I should do something. No, I must do something.
I wonder. He used to take them out from me, every so often. Maybe if I take them all out, in his name, for him, he will return. He will return.He will return! Why didn't I think of it before! I was stupid, unworthy of him, but now I know! It will hurt, it will hurt a lot, but I must be strong. I can withstand it. I must withstand it. For him. For love.

Incident 1673-1
On ██/██/19██ , approximately 3 years after estabilishing containment, the guards located outside the perimeter of SCP-1673 have reported tremors consistent with seismic activity, and resulting in structural damage to the perimeter wall. Examination of SCP-1673 during its inactive period next day has found evidence of large-scale soil movement, and the exhumation of a large quantity of human remains in various states of decomposition, the freshest identified as D-833 (See Document 1673-Eta for experiment logs).

As the town of Westkin, Virginia isn't located in a fault zone, and subsequently collected evidence suggests the epicenter of the tremours to locate within SCP-1673, I request its reclassification to Euclid. - Researcher Cartwright


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Male instance of SCP-1232-1, second stage, formerly private V. I. Novosadov

Item #: SCP-1232

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Samples of SCP-1232 are to be kept in cryogenic storage on Bio-Research Site-21. While experimentation upon SCP-1232 is permitted, experimental proposals need to be validated by a researcher of valid 2/1232 clearance beforehand due to limited supply
As of 12.03.1963, a process was devised to replicate SCP-1232 with reasonable efficiency (See Document 1232-Rho); as such, experimental proposals only require validation if it would be ordinarily required by the SCP Foundation Requisition Guidelines, sections C 1-7 and H 1-5. - Dr. Mihnea, Section Head
As the time required for a majority of SCP-1232 testing greatly exceeds one month, D-class personnel involved in testing of SCP-1232 is exempt from monthly termination by default.
Due to resistance of SCP-1232 to high temperatures, any items suspected of SCP-1232 contamination must be decontaminated by immersion in 1 molar NaOH solution, and subsequent heating in a gravity-displacement autoclave to 121 degrees Celsius for 30 minutes, followed by sterilization as usual. (See Document 1232-Sigma for a complete list of approved procedures where the stated is not appropriate)
Personnel manipulating with SCP-1232 samples is to use Level-A hazardous materials protective clothing manufactured to standards outlined in Document 1232-Sigma.

As instances of SCP-1232-1 in the first stage are difficult to separate from the general population, the recommended means of identification of such is working through those related to known SCP-1232-1 instances, assuming the most common symptom progression. In this stage, the removal of reproductive organs seems to halt the progress of the condition, and the residual symptoms are susceptible to treatment by most tricyclic antidepressants.

Instances of SCP-1232-1 in the second stage are essentially untreatable due to the extent of disruption to physiologic processes taking place, furthermore, even if treated, their reintroduction to society would be problematic. As such, they are to be euthanised, or left to expire on their own, and cremated.

Description: SCP-1232 is the designation given to a mixture of unknown proteins capable of causing a condition designated Novosadov Syndrome. The mechanism upon which it relies is poorly understood at the moment.

SCP-1232 is the designation given to a mixture of misfolded variants of [REDACTED] proteins (prions), capable of causing a condition designated Novosadov Syndrome. The precise mechanism of action is unknown - administration of isolated constituent prions, or partial mixtures to human subjects had no discernible effects, or caused conditions only weakly related to the syndrome's symptoms.

SCP-1232 isn't easily denatured by heat treatment alone, and can withstand temperatures of up to 230 degrees Celsius for roughly fifteen seconds - heating with basic agents, preferably NaOH, KOH or Ca(OH)2 of normality at least 1 has been shown effective.

Novosadov syndrome is a progressively developing condition caused by the introduction of a sufficient quantity of SCP-1232 into human body - a dose of approximately 50 micrograms administered intravenously appears sufficient to cause the condition in 50% of tested D-class subjects.

The onset of the condition can be split into two phases.
During the first phase, which sets on approximately 1-3 weeks after the introduction of SCP-1232 into the subject's body, the subject (designated SCP-1232-1) will become increasingly perfunctory and depressed. Subjective assessment along with supporting evidence obtained by eg. penile plethysmography shows a significant decrease in ability to feel sexual arousal. Of interest is that the appetite tends to stay unchanged in a disproportionate amount of cases compared to a control group where depression was induced chemically, and SCP-1232-1 during this phase have a tendency to gain weight, usually 10-15 kg over the duration. At this stage, no obvious physiologic changes are present5 in males. In females, [REDACTED] instead of fluid. This phase tends to last between 6-8 months.

The second phase onset is marked by a sudden loss of appetite, elevated body temperature, insomnia, and increased secretion of androgens. During the onset, SCP-1232-1 report a subjective improvement to their demeanor. Significant quantities of SCP-1232 are present in urine, and possibly other body fluids of SCP-1232-1 at this point. In addition, the menstrual cycle of female subjects is disrupted, with a large number of eggs beginning to mature, and the uterine lining thickening. In approximately 3% of the subjects, this results in acute endometriosis.

Usually within the next five days, the libido of SCP-1232-1 will return and proceed to increase, becoming the defining trait of their behaviour, in the case of male instances of SCP-1232-1, overwhelming even their survival instinct towards the end of the period.6 Instances of both gender will aggressively attempt to mate with any suitable human, often settling for animals or inanimate objects if none are available. Male subjects, tend to expire after a further 2-4 days due to a combination of exhaustion from lack of sleep and nutrition, and the collapse of the immune system caused by excessive testosterone levels.
Female SCP-1232-1 can be separated into three groups. Those in which fertilization occurs late or not at all tend to expire due to the same reasons as male subjects.

If fertilization occurs early, the androgen levels tend to drop, and SCP-1232-1's behavior will slowly normalize over the following days. The subsequent progress depends on the number of fertilized ovocytes surviving. The ovocytes nest and appear to undergo development accelerated roughly three times compared to regular embryos. In ~95% subjects, the amount of surviving ovocytes exceeds 20, and the subject likely expires during the first month of such pregnancy due to resulting complications. In the remaining 5% of subjects, the pregnancy progresses at the accelerated rate until the end of second month where the placentae [DATA EXPUNGED] sacs. Continuing to raise such feti in vitro is possible and once outside the mother's body, their growth rate will slowly decrease to match that of feti in the same development stage. Infants raised this way show no significant difference to control group.

Recovery Log: SCP-1232 was first isolated from the bodily fluids of private V.I. Novosadov on ██/██/1954, several months after he, along with a group of Soviet soldiers participated in the decommissioning of a then-discovered underground facility located in the territory German Democratic Republic7. Private Novosadov was executed following his desertion, capture, and subsequent admission to 37 cases of rape and sodomy, perpetrated in the village of ███████, Polish People's Republic, in the vicinity of a Soviet military base, over the course of two weeks. Agent Golovanov8, by the time infiltrated within the soviet army as a telegraphist, has managed to capture a coded depeche ordering the prompt incineration of private Novosadov's remains, and was able to obtain tissue samples and a copy of the autopsy report. The events following this are unclear due to Agent Golovanov's death (See Personnel File 1934-135-13-IPG), however, it is known that all of Novosadov's surviving victims disappeared approximately two months after his execution.


TO: Dr. ter Meer
FROM: Dr. Meiziger
Fritz, I need you to talk about our project to ████████ at the ministry again. I got shouted at by Berger again yesterday - apparently they are expecting them to leap out of their mother's twat and grab a shovel or a rifle, while we haven't even fixed the slowdown, the rest of the troubles be damned. Hell, even if we get it to work, a fourfold increase is the most I can get - I said it's a long-term solution, not miracle work we're doing here. Besides, despite the [REDACTED], yesterday's bombing raid means half our supplies are in the devil's arse, and what's worse, Klaus was overseeing [REDACTED], and you know a good half of the synthesis process was his work alone. Anyways, write how will it go and send my greetings to Ilsa, she still works at [REDACTED] , doesn't she?. As soon as we push the red swine out back again, and I'll be able to take a few days off, I'll jump on a train and come.
Gott mit uns.


rating: 0+x
SCP-1618, demounted

Item #: SCP-1618

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1618 is to be stored in a safe in High Value Items Storage on Sector-28. Access to SCP-1618 for purposes of experimentation requires the experiment proposal and risk assessment forms to be approved by a researcher with 2/1618 clearance. Due to extended area of effect, any testing is to be carried out in Test Polygon-2, with the object mounted on its designated stand. During testing , only D-class personnel is allowed to enter the designated effective zone. It is recommended that the meals of D-class personnel designated for SCP-1618 testing are suspended at least two days before the date of the test.

Description: SCP-1618 is a standard Sanura 400 model urinal manufactured by Armitage Shanks that has been coated with an approximately 0.5mm layer of spray-on gold paint. With the exception of the paint coat, and a note (See Addendum 1618-1) found glued on the water supply pipe, the object doesn't differ from other urinals in the same series, and the testing of samples of gold paint and vitreous china detected no anomalies in their composition.

The anomalous properties of SCP-1618 manifest when a person urinates into the bowl. Approximately 5 seconds after urine comes into contact with SCP-1618, a number of effects occurs in a growing field of effect, starting in the immediate vicinity of the urinal, and increasing to cover a sphere approximately 350 metres in diameter. Except by direct observation of the effects, the affected area can not be distinguished from its surroundings, and the resulting emanation doesn't appear weakened or stopped by any tested materials, up to and including a lead plate of 25cm thickness.
The effects, as observed during initial containment and testing has been summarised as following.

— Valuable items or currency transform into, or are replaced by an equivalent volume of various refuse.Observed changes include items made of gold and coinage becoming human feces, paper currency becoming toilet paper or sections of fresh pig intestine, and several Armani-brand suit turning into vestments of identical cut composed of used sanitary towels conjoined with dental floss.
— Personal electronics appears to show the greatest spectrum of transformations, with results ranging from inflated pig bladders in the rough shape of original item, sections of brick, or rusty cans. On one occasion, an █████-brand PDA transformed into segments of depleted fuel rod, resulting in radiation burns to the test subject.
— Most armaments appear to transform into living birds of appropriate size, with most personal firearms becoming pigeons, and tear gas grenades turning into flocks of sparrows. Close contact weaponry transforms into human body sections instead, with a 40cm nightstick turning into an erect human penis of equivalent length.
— Human feces within the area of effect transform into an equivalent volume of solid gold. As this includes fecal matter present in the colon, this often results in an acute mechanical bowel obstruction, and associated sharp abdominal pain, distension of abdomen and vomiting. In the case of timely surgery, the recovery rates appear to be well above 95%, similar to that of bowel obstruction caused by non-anomalous means. In the case of subject's lower intestine being empty, or containing a small amount of feces, the result is likely constipation and bowel irritation.

The transformations appear permanent, while the active effect field dissipates within 30 seconds of the urinal being flushed.

Recovery Log: SCP-1618 was recovered from the executive bathrooms of ███████ ████ Group Inc. (further referred to as company) headquarters, located at ███ ████ Street, New York on ██/██/2011, following a series of protests related to the Occupy Wall Street movement. The Foundation was alerted to the existence of SCP-1618 when a TV recording from a protest site showed a police water cannon turning into four adult Casuarius casuarius (cassowary) specimens, following a number of protesters as well as police units showing signs of distress and clutching their abdomens.
MTF Gamma-5 (They're on our side, Sir!) was dispatched on-site as a recovery team and damage control. SCP-1618 was located following the interrogation of several protesters and company employees, thorough search of the building, and noting that no urinal resembling SCP-1618 appears to figure within company purchase records. Following recovery, affected subjects were provided medical attention, distributed class-A amnesiacs, and the entire area was cordoned off under the pretense of SWAT units action due to invalid permit application on the side of the protesters.

Addendum 1618-1:
Note recovered from SCP-1618

when we
Are victorious on a world scale I think we shall use gold for the purpose of building public lavatories in the streets of some of the largest cities of the
World. This would be the most “just” and most edu-
Cational way of utilising gold for the benefit of these generations which have not forgotten how, for the sake of gold, ten million men were killed and thirt-
Y million maimed in the “great war for freedom” ,
? V.I.Uljanov

Physical fractals as perfect heat exchangers (infinite surface area)

Game day perhaps? MC&D raiding site-35, using SCP-1011 on prostitutes.

Object neutralised during containment.

1308 notes. Floating.. perhaps hydrogen pockets giving it very low specific density? Perhaps they don't quite explain it.

Nutrilicious. Something out of wondertainment, or factory, perhaps causes people to be autotrophs.


rating: 0+x
A segment of dead SCP-1308 tissue showing a deflated sensory organ

Item #: SCP-1308

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1308 is to be held in a modified standard enclosure on Bio Research Site-21, such that the door mechanism, the main ventilation mechanism, and any apertures wider than 25mm in two perpendicular directions are to be covered with a steel mesh coated with a tin layer at least 0.08mm thick.

Any personnel entering the enclosure is to wear Level B hazardous materials protective equipment, modified by attaching strips of tin foil no smaller than 100x25 mm to the surface, no further than 50mm apart. To ensure personal safety in case of suit damage, a layer of tin foil protecting the head and neck is to be worn under specified protective clothing while inside the enclosure, or during times of significant risk of SCP-1308 containment breach.

All personnel entering the enclosure is to be equipped with a standard-issue electroshock weapon. Personnel is reminded that due to lack of discernible vital organs, gunfire is of limited effectiveness against SCP-1308 exemplars. For longer incapacitation as relating to capture or research, portable pressurised sprayer units with chloroform solution are to be used; these are to be issued to any level 1 personnel with SCP-1308 clearance, having undergone appropriate training.

The enclosure of SCP-1308 is to be kept at a temperature of 28 degrees Celsius, and a relative humidity of 47%. Once per ten days, one human cadaver within 4 hours of exitus live pig of mass cca. 50kg per exemplar is to be introduced into SCP-1308 enclosure. Two days after each feeding, the cell is to be cleaned of residue. No more than three exemplars of SCP-1308 are to be stored in a single enclosure.

Newly captured SCP-1308 exemplars are to be examined for deviations in body makeup and classified as per Document-1308-C, implanted with a positioning and identification chip and internated in an enclosure as appropriate.

Description: SCP-1308 refers to several instances of an organism resembling an ambulatory sheet of human skin of cca. 1x3 m size,9 capable of flotation through currently unknown means.10 The upper surface of SCP-1308 specimens resembles human skin, including features such as body hair, birthmarks and occassional patches of keratin. The lower surface is smooth, and contains a number of modified sweat glands, capable of excretion of SCP-1308-1, a translucent yellow liquid of composition resembling blood plasma.

Below the skin, SCP-1308 contains two layers of perpendicularly oriented muscular fibres, an adipose layer, and occassional segments of reinforcing cartillage. The tissues of SCP-1308 contain a large number of capillaries leading from the surfaces, apparently responsible for gas exchange, towards the central mass - the blood circulation is ensured by means of a pattern of involuntary muscle contractions. Large scale muscular contractions are used as a means of propulsion, and the musculature of SCP-1308 has been shown capable of exerting forces upwards of 600N. SCP-1308 has a decentralized nervous system composed of a grid of ganglia cca 5mm diameter, irregularly located with a density of cca 25 per sq. m, connected by axon strands.

DNA testing on cells harvested from SCP-1308 instances confirms them to be human in origin.

SCP-1308 appears to be sentient, and seems to prefer secluded areas such as abandoned buildings, the vicinity of waste disposal facilities, or maintenance facilities, however a single exemplar [REDACTED].When inactive, SCP-1308 will usually adhere to a wall or another structure, seemingly preferring heights of ~2.5m and above.

Through specific patterns of muscular contractions11 combined with the folding of its body, SCP-1308 is capable of emitting melodic sounds, as well as replicating sounds from the enviroment, including human speech, with varying intensity. This property plays a role in luring potential victims; however SCP-1308 specimens tend to vocalise at apparently random times even during, or after feeding.
If a human being approaches an SCP-1308 instance, it will attempt to envelop and restrain them, and force a significant part of its surface under their clothing, such that it is in contact with bare skin. Subsequently the glands on the surface of SCP-1308 will excrete SCP-1308-1.
SCP-1308-1 rapidly penetrates human skin, and within three minutes of application, causes permanent dissociation of intercellular bonds in animal tissues up to a depth of cca. 1mm.12. Once this has taken place, SCP-1308 will proceed to slowly absorb the tissue slurry and reintegrate it into its body mass through unknown means, a process which has been observed to take between 3-7 hours.
Once the absorbtion is complete, SCP-1308 will release its victim, and float away. Archival records and testing have shown encounters with SCP-1308 to have a survival rate of roughly 80%, out of which most deaths were caused by large-scale skin loss leading to impaired gas exchange, suffocation or circulatory failure due to constriction, or shock. Thorough cleaning of the wounds using physiologic solution, followed by prophylactic penicillin treatment have been shown to aid recovery. If large-scale areas are affected, skin grafting is recommended.

SCP-1308 instances show intense reluctance of coming into contact with metallic tin and certain tin compounds - the cause seems related to SCP-1308-1 being an effective catalyst in the process of tin oxidation.

Recovery Log: SCP-1308 first came to attention of the Foundation in ██████, Hungary on ██/██/1995, following the hospitalisation of J████ B█████, a maintenance employee at the ███████ heat plant. Following his interviewing by hospital psychiatrist, and unusual nature of his injuries, a Foundation liaison interviewed him posing as a Ministry of Enviroment special commitee worker. (see Addendum 1308-1 for interview). A plan of approach was drafted based on his testimony, and an instance of SCP-1308 was successfully captured in the maintenance tunnels. J.B. was treated with amnesiacs, and the hospital records were altered to record the injury as self-inflicted, following a psychotic episode.
Up to date, five more instances were contained.

Addendum 1308-1:

Interviewed: Janosz B█████ (subsequently J.B.), maintenance employee of the ███████ heat plant.

Interviewer: Researcher F████, posing as a member of special commitee of Hungarian Ministry of Agriculture.

Foreword: J.B. was brought to the ██████ state hospital by his colleague, Bela B█████, who found him in one of the maintenance rooms. He was hospitalised immediately due to a head injury, extensive loss of skin tissue on his back, chest, and right arm, infection, and fever. J.B.'s claims of being assaulted by a "skin bedsheet", coupled with the unusual nature of his injuries prompted Foundation investigation.

<Begin Log>

J.B.: Bela? Brought in the bottle? Pass it! Before the doctor comes!

Researcher F█████: Excuse me. Doctor Isztvan Varga, trustee of the ministry of Agriculture-

J.B.: Be.. Doctor? Agriculture.. Do I look like a bull?… Sorry, a joke — who are you looking for?

Researcher F█████: You are some Janosz B█████, born ██/██/1965 in Szeged?

J.B.: Yeah, that's me… but .. what the hell… Sorry, I-

Researcher F█████: I'm here because of what you told the doctor when they took you in. See-

J.B.: Really… fuck.. he was saying he'll give me a calming shot… so.. but agriculture?

Researcher F█████: Your case isn't the first, Mr. B█████. What you encountered appears to be an invasive species of constrictor snake, accidentally imported from Uzbekistan. We just need to confirm some details before it can be properly reported and dealt with.

J.B.: Snake? It looked nothing like a fucking snake… it was.. I dunno.. like a skin.. live skin, like on my arm, hell, even had hair like that.. and it was flying.

Researcher F█████: It can float for short distances.. it's a relatively rare species.. just has better living conditions under our geography. A lot like rabbits in Australia. But regardless - your colleague told us he found you lying in the maintenance hall. Can you tell me what happened?

J.B.: It was Tuesday, I think. I was doing two shifts, one for Gergely. Happened about an hour through the second one… not sure. I went to take a leak, then… what did I.. right, see, I heard.. I thought I heard the radio. Thought Bela left it on, or something, and I didn't notice before.. fuck, I thought he's gonna waste all the battery. So, I went to look for it. Thought I heard it from one of the storage rooms.. I thought.. see, we went there for a smoke at times. Was odd.. too. Sounded like.. I think I heard it once on television, in some movie.

Researcher F█████: Possible. Carry on, what happened when you entered?

J.B.: I went in.. wait, no. I ran in.. see, I was walking through the hall, and suddenly, the music stopped, and I thought I heard a voice… So I grabbed a wrench, and ran in, see… We had before.. the gate guard is rather old ,and he likes the bottle, a few times we had such a problem.

Researcher F█████: What problem?

J.B.: Hobos, the fucks. Fuck them. Like, through winter, but all the time, some'd sneak in to sleep, and make a fucking mess.

Researcher F█████: So you went in. What happened?

J.B.: At first, nothing. I opened the door, nobody there. Went in, then… fuck. heard the.. shriek from behind me, and above. I turned, and this .. thing. Like I said… like a carpet or bedsheet.. but it was floaring in air, curled up ,like.. a bit of it was like a tube, and.. it.. the music started again. And it went at me.. fast, like a cat running. I froze.. then got my shit together, tried to hit it with the wrench. Didn't help.

Researcher F█████: Did the hit damage it any?

J.B.: Oh, that.. that it did. See, I got a pretty strong arm.. the wrench tore a hole in it. sprayed something out, too.. But it didn't care. See, the thing sort of flexed.. and around my arm. And then it went up… it was warm and.. like, being licked by a dog, but it held my arm really tight. I tried to yank it out but I fell…
Then, the thing began sliding up, and up my sleeve.. like I said, it looked like skin, with hair, all, I think I saw a head or somesuch , but I don't know.. then it wrapped around what it could, tore through my shirt. Didn't make with the belt, fuck, thank to Virgin Mary, hell. Because then, see.. once it had me wrapped tight, it began doing something, it started slow, but then it burned like when you're chopping fefferons and touch your eye or dick or some.. fuck. And it wouldn't let go.. I tried to move, got it to budge a bit, but it wrapped again, tighter. And it .. I think a part of it was humming again , but might be just my head. Hell, I don't remember how long I was there.

Researcher F█████: What you recall next?

J.B. When it finally let me go, floated up, off, quite quick. I tried getting up, I was.. my legs, arms ,all fell asleep. Took me ages to just get moving again.. I ran to the main maintenance hall, wanted to get the telephone, call someone… I.. I think I tripped or something. The next thing I recall was Bela swearing and slapping me.. must have been his shift or what. He took me to the hospital, thought I hurt my head talking about this.

Researcher F█████: That'll be all, thank you. Please, take this pill - it's an antivenin. The poison of this snake species is rather subversive - causes hallucinations at first, and if left untreated, liver damage after a few days.

J.B.: Thanks.. fuck, the doctors didn't knew about that.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: J.B. was administered Class-A amnesiacs, the injury being explained to him as steam burns following a boiler accident. The hospital staff were informed his injuries were self-inflicted as a result of delusions of his own skin attacking him. which was the reason behind his testimony.

SCP-1308 original by RandomRedneck

rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-1308

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Subject is currently detained at Containment Site -14. Those entering SCP-1308's containment chamber are to have all visible skin covered.

Description: SCP-1308 appears to be a hollowed out, mobile human epidermis.

SCP-1308 was brought to Foundation attention after 3 unusual murders in the ██████, Texas area. Victims appeared to have been suffocated, and stripped off all skin post mortem. SCP-1308 itself was discovered along with the body of Albert █████ 2 weeks after the killings began. Subject was taken into Foundation custody, and all evidence of the killings wiped from media attention.

Any individual who comes within 1 meter(3 feet) of SCP-1308 will trigger a violent reaction. SCP-1308 will attack the subject by opening an area of its form(Usually an arm, or its head) and covering the victims head, killing them by suffocation.

After suffocation of a victim, SCP-1308 will remove itself and appear to 'unzip' its front, and proceed to envelop the deceased. After 1 hour, SCP-1308 will remove itself again, and return to its docile state. The corpse it covered will appear completely skinned after envelopment.

SCP-1308 will only react to human subjects. Various animals have achieved no reaction from it. SCP-1308 will also remain docile if subjects cover all visible skin.

How subject can move is still currently unknown.


rating: 0+x
An instance of SCP-1729

Item #: SCP-1729

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Captured instances of SCP-1729 are to be kept in a warehouse located within Sector-25. Outside of testing, every instance of SCP-1729 is to be restrained using standard wheel clamps, and switch 1A set to 'off'. Any newly captured SCP-1729 instance is to be fitted with manual operation switches on leads 1-7, and an additional battery-operated relay circuit on lead 1. (See Document-1729-B for complete diagram with critical locations, and appropriate schematics with part numbers specified)

If testing on SCP-1729 requires the removal of restraints, such a test must be carried out on designated enclosed test track marked 5-TTR on the Sector-25 layout plan. During such testing, only D-class personnel are to be allowed to approach or initiate contact with SCP-1729 - for this purpose, a group of 6 D-Class, designated DR-1729, to be used for such testing, At least 3 members of DR-1729 are required to have a background in automotive repair. At least 1 member of DR-1729 is required to have a background in mechanical engineering.

Locations found to serve as deposition sites for SCP-1729 are to be transferred into posession of an appropriate Foundation cover organisation, and monitored for activity. Any inbound SCP-1729 instances are to be captured, and their payload seized; civillians found within the perimeter of a deposition site are to be interrogated, and unless required otherwise, treated with Class-A amnesiacs and released.

Description: SCP-1729 refers to a presently indeterminate number of apparently autonomous motor vehicles of differing model and manufacturer, their count currently estimated at ██. Each instance of SCP-1729 is painted black, and marked with a "TAXI" panel, and the logo and telephone number of a taxi service13. License plates found on SCP-1729 instances tend to duplicate those of existing vehicles.

The interior of SCP-1729 instances differs significantly from that of an equivalent vehicle. The engine doesn't connect to the gas tank. Instead, the flywheel [REDACTED] while the battery seems to provide energy for SCP-1729's functioning - cutting the wire lead marked 1 on SCP-1729 scheme effectively disables the instance in question. A number of further wire leads extend to various sections inside - disabling any of these seems to disable specific mechanisms inside SCP-1729. The gas tank itself contains between 20-60 litres of saline and connects to a nozzle located within the trunk area. A number of servo and hydraulic controlled manipulation mechanisms, and mobile high-voltage electrodes are present within the trunk itself, as well as a number of devices whose functionality is the subject of present research.

While in its inactive state, SCP-1729 is stationary, and doesn't significantly differ in appearance from a regular vehicle. SCP-1729 tend to activate at random times between 10pm and 8am, though rarely, operation outside these times has been observed.

Upon activation, instances of SCP-1729 proceed move along ground communications in a random pattern; however, they are significantly more likely to pick directions leading to areas with higher population density14.
SCP-1729 will comply to traffic law, asides from occasional erratic behaviour during right turns, usually occurring towards the end of a cycle.
During the active period, humans looking at SCP-1729 perceive a humanoid figure, designated SCP-1729-1, sitting in the driver's seat - optic and thermal instrumentation shows the seat to be empty, furthermore a strong [DATA EXPUNGED] further pointing to being illusory.

Characteristic malfunction of SCP-1729 instance

If an active instance of SCP-1729 is approached, or gestured to, SCP-1729 will stop, and its doors unlock. SCP-1729-1 will attempt to mimic a taxi driver; those witnessing such an event report frequent defects such as vocalisations not synchronised with facial mimics, slurred speech ,or erratic movements. If boarded, SCP-1729-1 will proceed towards the intended destination until attaining a velocity of approximately 40km/h. Subsequently, the back seat of SCP-1729 will shift, a set of manipulators will restrain the passenger, paralyse them by means of an electric discharge and a series of rollers will proceed to relocate them into the trunk, where [REDACTED]15 and subsequently section the body, storing the segments in saline-filled PE bags. The sectioning is consistent, but highly idiosyncratic - bags often contain multiple parts, such as heart and lungs, while the intestinal tract is usually split into cca 1.5m segments, each packed separately, and on two occasions, some packages contained approximately 500g of cca 35mm vein and artery sections.

Upon completion. SCP-1729 will proceed towards a fixed location16 and deposit all collected material, usually packed withing 2-5 black PE sacks.
SCP-1729 will proceed to evacuate the premises, and deactivate upon encountering an available parking space. The mean period of re-activation appears to be 16+/-3 days.

Addendum 1729-1:

Incident 1729-1:
On ██/██/20██, █████ Metropolitan Police have been asked to investigate an unusual smell spreading from one of the vehicles in a parking lot located near ███████ appartment complex. When approached by the summoned patrol, the vehicle activated and attempted to ride away, injuring one of the officers in the process - the second responded with gunfire, causing it to crash due to tire damage. Subsequent examination has shown the trunk to be full of human remains in advanced state of decay. The patrolmen were administered amnesiacs by a Foundation member posing as a MI5 liaison, and the remains of the vehicle were taken for testing - it was found that the PE foil stockpile within the SCP-1729 instance has been depleted, and due to the inability of ejector to process unpacked tissues, this resulted in their accumulation within the device.

Addendum 1729-3:

Since initial containment, the proportion of encountered SCP-1729 instances in degraded state has been on a steady rise, and the monitoring of former delivery sites has resulted in no additional captures. Requesting appropriate update to containment procedures - Researcher Pauling
Request approved. - Dr. Zubov, section head


Doing the Safety Dance

Keeping with the times

It was always like that. I grew up in a small village just south of Niznyj Novgorod, as third of four children. My mother always longed for how, before I was even born, we lived in a nice appartment Moscow, with my father working at the ministry. Then Chruscov came. "We got to think in new ways." he said, and so, my father ended up a deputy in the local soviet. Even that was probably thanks to my grandfather…

My grandfather was a war hero - lost a leg fighting the SS-men. When I was a boy, I wanted to be like him - tell jokes to a full pub or House of Culture, play folk songs on a harmonica. My class teacher once heard me talk about it with Sergej, so he took me off, and knocked on my forehead - "You got to think in new ways, Grigorij - the culture of tomorrow doesn't need drunken comics, and you are neither good enough, not with a right cadre profile to be taken to study acting." Well, so I did, and became a militionary.

What can I say.. Nights are long and cold, promotion nowhere… I somehow lasted through, and got transferred to the city. Life went better from then - the girls like a uniform, and there were some other things to do… until that one night. We got called in by some hag.. think she was a pensioned teacher… She claimed to see some youths carrying off half a pig, and in this time of shortage, sure must have… Ah well - we had a bit under our hats already… made a game out of who to send. . Six shots of vodka, two of kerosene, and a peg on the nose… needless to say, me and Fyodor weren't lucky. Ah well, thought we'd scare them a bit, and if it was really meat ,gonna bring some of it home and ask those fuckers where you can get it black.

At least she was good at describing.. we recognised the house outright. Belonged to a grandpa, thought those youngsters might be his family… or he did business to make a bit on the side of state pension. We knocked with no reply, then Fyodor managed to pick the lock - he learned it in the army and it was better than kicking it in, anyways. At least you could write that it was open already into the report - like anyone would check too much. As the door opened, we heard some noise, we rushed in, that sort of odd mix of eager and angry you get in such cases. "Hands up, eagles!"….

What we seen in the room made me throw up, and that's me - back during military service, I won a bet eating a rat. There was a strange, sweetly smell, candles, odd diagrams. The three fucks were nude.. with faces like they'd been picking strawberries, and in the centre of the room… well, let's say that what was there, all carved up, wasn't a pig.

It's odd how much strength seeing something like that gives you. They got nightstick over head, and irons over arms, and we dragged them straight to the station, followed by kicks and punches… Falling down the stairs, they call it in an arrest report.

The commander filed in papers, made phonecalls… Ivan and Josif looked at us like at a golden calf… We went off to have some drinks. I had a bad feeling , went to check them.. two were sitting in their cells allright, but the third one of them pulled something strange from…the thing must have been sewn into his forearm. Oddly, he didn't bleed that much. I went to the commander. "You got to think in new ways, not superstitious nonsense… just go in there and give him a few calming whacks, and handcuff the fuck so he doesn't kill himself". And so I did.

When I opened the door, the fuck was no longer alive. Instead there was.. it looked like the inside of.. I crossed myself, pulled out my gun and shot at it. A part of it tore away, something sparked…

I woke up surrounded by a bunch of folks in lab coats, and army uniforms. One of them, a young girl which I would have swore I seen in one of the pubs before gave me an injection. Then, three of them came and asked questions. I told them everything I knew and remembered, and things I thought I haven't… hell, even things I wouldn't say to my brother… bribes, fines I pocketed…. Oddly enough, they didn't seem to care.

I suppose I was lucky in a way … two years later, a western defector brought in amnesiacs and plans how to make them, and that made it easy… I'd be still a militionary, thinking a gas line burst. Instead one of the uniformed folk said a lobotomy would be a waste of a good man with quick aim, took my papers, and asked the medics something. He then asked me if I'm in the party. I nodded, he remarked "Well, then you know Lenin said, 'to learn, to learn, to learn'", dropped a large grey binder on my bed, and told me to go over it in the next five days. It was a brick to get through - at least Tania, that medic who supervised me, helped with some of the heavy words. At least about half of it were political matters - the estabilishment of GRU Abnormal Occurences Comission by a direct decree from Comrade Stalin following the murder of S.M.Kirov, its expansion into Division "П" - during the war as a response to psychotronic threats to people's democratic estabilishment from the SS and later, Vatican agents, as well as with whatever odd cropped up at home. The rest.. standard protocols, emergency protocols, my immediate superiors…

I started as a guard on Objekt П-3 - a steelworks somewhere near Ural. They brought new people in, almost every week, we had to supervise their off-loading and make sure they stayed in a room with an odd statue for the right amount of time - what Katia, one of the academicians working in there told me over a glass was, that they were special prisoners, troublemakers or even counter-revolutionists, and that a few hours spent in front of the thing every day made it easier to get answers from them. Well, until it messed up with that Afghan fuck… but hey, three of us got a medal from it.

Some days, I think that atheisation would have went so much easier if at least some of the stuff we took in, documented, and tried to use, store, or destroy had been put into textbooks and shown to the kids at schools. I mean… I heard that in one of the republics near Germany, they had to demolish maybe a fifth of the capital because of some thing that infected buildings, made them grow and fall down. I had to know this time, though I guess Lenia would have told me even if I wasn't the director of security. She had pretty legs, a beautiful smile and was the head researcher on its weaponisation project. We did that to a lot of things… combat first-aid kits imitated from an old Kazakh whose blood lived on its own, an experimental reactor made with help of tapeworms that could crawl across people….. At those times, I looked at the bust of Lenin on the hall across from my office, and thought to myself the days of the imperialists were over.

I was badly mistaken. Thinking… .I wonder we lasted through Gorbacov as well as we did. The man was a fool but his modernisers somehow skipped over our section… I heard an operation of ours saved his life twice. However, once he gave up and Jelcin came, it all went to hell. Even Objekt П-3 was decommissioned, and sold to a dummy company owned by a foreign shadow group.. SCP or something , they called themselves. I think Lenia joined them after her section was removed from the budget. See, after the coup, the new rich and their politicians had no trust for organisations filled with siloviki. "You got to think in new ways" a man in a suit called. "We have nothing to fear from the west anymore, and the integration with the GOC is just the first harbringer of modern, international Russian Federation more than ever able to respond to anomalous threats…" But this time, I didn't need his words… I have learned to think in new ways myself.

The middle-aged officer was disturbed from his thoughts by a tall man with clean-shaven head and an Armani suit. "The object's verification has been completed, Mr. Bezukladnikov. Here's our part of the deal - eighty thousand dollars, ten thousand rubles, a Czech ID and passport with US visa and plane tickets." The man smiled as Grigorij immediately began looking over the documents, his hands shaking slightly. "I'm sure you will find them no less valid than the border officials, comrade lieutenant colonel. After all, Mr. Marshall believes in honest business."

Tale of an employee of CKG gathering - endpoint is Neanderthals, classified as Keter? Need to ask chat about it.

Guide to containment procedures.


rating: 0+x
SCP-1207 prior to capture

Item #: SCP-1207

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1207 is to be housed in a standard Humanoid Containment Suite on Site-17.

Description: SCP-1207 is a humanoid measuring 1.58m and weighing 62kg, whose body resembles that of an adult caucasian male; however possessing a host of anatomic differences.
The cranium and neck of SCP-1207 are absent - instead, the thorax terminates in a cavity containing openings leading to the trachea, three ear-like structures, and a porous [DATA EXPUNGED] sound emission, and appears to be used as an orientation aid in a manner similar to echo-location.
The left arm of SCP-1207 is considerably shorter and more muscular than the right - the armpit contains rudimentary jaws and a mouth-like cavity linking to the stomach via a short esophagus - when feeding , SCP-1207 uses vertical arm movement to bite and chew.
Roentgen scanning has shown an ovoid growth roughly 20cm along major axis, located just above the pelvis. The growth is enveloped in what appears to be cartilage, and links directly to the spine, suggesting its function to be equivalent to that of a brain.

The chest of SCP-1207 is covered in a tattoo pattern, designated SCP-1207-1.

Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]

SCP-074 Rewrite

Item #: SCP-074

Object Class: Euclid

Still shot from SCP-074 enclosure.

Special Containment Procedures: A colony of SCP-074 is to be kept on a Fagus sylvatica log contained within a 2x2x1m enclosure constructed of a rebar frame covered in two layers of cow hide. Every three days, 500g of sterillized leaf mulch and wood chips are to be introduced into the enclosure by means of designated feeding assembly.

Sealed HDPE traps containing sheets of bark immersed in formaldehyde are to be placed in areas suspect of SCP-074 presence ,if confirmed, wild populations of SCP-074 are to be regulated using airborne chemical agents (see documentation for Procedure 15-Wormwood). A research project regarding modified Bacillus thuringiensis producing toxins effective against SCP-074 is underway.

Description: SCP-074 is a species of woodlouse resembling Oniscus asellus, encountered in the ████ █████ region of Slovak Republic, however, it demonstrates a number of anomalous properties.
Despite a size similar to O. asellus specimens, instances of SCP-074 appear to have a mass of between 0.03-0.04 micrograms - approximately 10 000 000 times less than O. asellus.

Subcutaneous infection in A███ N██████ resulting from SCP-074-1 exposure. Instances of SCP-074 visible through skin.
Asides from its abnormal size ,SCP-074 mainly differs from O. asellus by means of its anomalous ethology. When disturbed, specimens of SCP-074 appear to [DATA EXPUNGED]17 originally thought to be a form of non-ionizing radiation18, but which has since been identified as "coherent wavepackets" (further on SCP-074-1) equivalent to instances of SCP-074, emitted in a random direction. SCP-074-1 pass through most known materials, however, they decohere with a half-life equivalent to approximately 130m travelled.

Coherent SCP-074-1 travelling through tree bark and cambium, and certain forms of decaying vegetable matter tend to cause live instances of SCP-074 to re-appear with a probability increasing with thickness of material. However, a similar effect tends to occur during travel through the skin and subcutaneous tissues of most birds and mammals.

SCP-074 isn't suited to life in animal tissues and promptly dies in such conditions. It is hypothesized that this property might be a form of eusociality, as the resulting pain discourages higher species from entering SCP-074 habitats.

In humans, while not primarily dangerous19, care must be taken to remove instances of SCP-074 and disinfect locations of injury, as the anaerobic nature of caused injury leads to a high incidence of tetanus otherwise.

SCP-669 Rewrite

Item #: SCP-669

Object Class: Safe

SCP-669, inactive

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-669 is to be kept in a lead-lined safety deposit on Site-19. Any personnel to be granted access to SCP-669 must have completed a training session led by an individual with 2/669 clearance.
Following Incident 669-1, SCP-669 is to be encased in a Faraday cage vessel consisting of a grounded copper shell, and slotted alumina inserts holding the item in place. SCP-669 is to be removed from containing vessel only in designated testing area, so as not to interfere with Site-19 electronics.

Description: SCP-669 is a sphere of radius 2.6cm, resembling a large bearing. When inactive, SCP-669 weighs approximately 560g. The surface of SCP-669 contains numerous sites of corrosion and pitting, as well as remains of a cadmium blue paint. The surface temperature of SCP-669 appears to vary between 32.1 and 33.8 degrees Celsius - this appears independent of the temperature and thermal conductivity of its surroundings.
The composition of SCP-669 is currently unknown; the surface of SCP-669 indicates its composition to be mild carbon steel, however, its density, as well as inertia testing data suggests a non-uniform internal structure.

SCP-669 activates when placed within 54 cm of any object larger than itself, and set into motion. While active, SCP-669 appears to lack gravitational mass - instead it describes an orbit around the object at one of a set of distances up to 54 cm from the object's surface.20 Collisions with an object larger than itself cause SCP-669 to relocate into orbit around the colliding object.
If SCP-669 is exposed to a suitable light source of sufficient brightness (see Experiment Log-669), it proceeds to move into next further orbit. If no such exists, SCP-669 will either deactivate, or proceed to fly at a tangent to its original orbit until colliding with another suitable object.
Pushing SCP-669 into an orbit closer to an object it orbits requires a force of approximately 50N, and is accompanied by a brief photoemission of seemingly random frequency from SCP-669's surface.

Recovery Log: SCP-669 was recovered from the Istanbul Modern Art Museum on April 4, 195█. It was part of a work exposed in the annual "Current Eastern European Sculpture" retrospective, as a part of an exhibit titled "Rutherfordian Atom - a Didactic Perspective", although it was not listed in that exhibition's catalog and neither its purported artist, one G█████ P█████████████, nor "Lomonosov-Makarenko Institute for Scientific and Political Education" appear to figure in any official records.

Incident 669-1:

On ██/██/196█ during the course of an experiment led by Researcher Arnold Scheiner, SCP-669 deactivated after minor collision. Within 15 seconds after reactivation, SCP-669 suddenly developed an electric field sufficient to strip electrons from objects within a radius of approximately half a metre, resulting in the death of Researcher Scheiner, and damage to several electronic devices in the room. Contanment procedures updated.

SCP-1438 (with TK4L)

Item #: SCP-1438

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1438 is to be kept in an airtight humanoid containment suite on Site-17, modified as per immobile humanoid containment standard CSG-0455-HI, that is to be kept at an internal temperature above 35 degrees Celsius unless required otherwise. The air filtration system, and the decontamination to be equipped with a heat exchanger cooling the exiting air to a temperature below 10 degrees Celsius; the condensate is to be gathered and stored in airtight stainless steel vessels.
Due to self-harm potential, SCP-1438 is to be kept sedated, and physically restrained unless otherwise required. Any personnel interacting with SCP-1438 , either to perform maintenance or as a part of an experimental procedure is to wear Class A Hazardous Materials protection due to the volatility of SCP-1438-1.

Description: SCP-1438 is a caucasian male of unknown identity, apparently in his late teens. SCP-1438 measures 1.72m, and weighs 55kg, showing signs characteristic of long-term bed-bound. If not sedated, the body of SCP-1438 undergoes constant muscular spasms,seemingly uncontrolled movement and random vocalization.

The sweat of SCP-1438 contains an anomalous transparent, slightly yellow substance, designated SCP-1438-1. SCP-1438-1 has a boiling point of approximately 32 degrees Celsius at standard pressure, and appears well soluble in water.

In most chordates, SCP-1438-1 vapour exposure results alterations in neuron structure such as SCP-1438-1 deposition in myelin sheaths, [DATA EXPUNGED] which result in heightened speed of signal transmission, as well as shortened refractory period. This effect appears to scale exponentially with dosage, up to a transmission speed calculated at 0.12c corresponding to an SCP-1438-1 dosage of 90 grams. (see Addendum 1438-1).


Document SCP-001-EX-J contains the transcript of former SCP-001-J document, recovered in the ███████ Cave, France. The content of this document have since become obsoleted, leading to its declassification. The original documentation is kept on site of discovery, with the pertinent part of the cave being closed off to visitors due to instability.

rating: 0+x
Original visual documentation to SCP-001 Original text: "Thing-I"

Which thing: Thing-I Thing-I-U

How bad thing: Not Bad Understood

How keep thing: At least one of Thing-I must keep in hole in ground in Cave-IIII. At least one Witch Doctor must be awake near a hole with Thing-I kept in. Must throw wood, leaf, bone to Thing-I to eat , or it die. When not in hole in ground, Thing-I worse than mountain lion, Very Bad. Thing-I don't hurt by spear, axe or fist. To stop use water, piss , throw ground or beat with tree branch.
Trying things on Thing-I only for Witch Doctor with wolf pelt or higher, need to tell Witch Doctor U██ before try.
//No piss at Thing-I unless very short. Shaman A██ //

If need Thing-I, Witch Doctor O█ can teach how to Witch Doctor with wolf pelt or higher. No write how make Thing-I , no tell how make Thing-I to man of no wolf pelt or sent to Very Bad duty.

What thing is: Thing-I hot, bright thing, yellow color. Thing-I no grab by hand, but can move when put wood with Thing-I on it into animal skull. Trying show above Thing-I hot like in Thing-I, but no bright. Thing-I happen when wood, leaf, bone, pelt, fat touch Thing-I that already somewhere. Thing-I also happen when Thing-III hit a tree, or wood touch near Thing-IIII.
Water, piss , earth , slap with branch all kill Thing-I. But, Thing-I man must watch over - work of Witch Doctor K███ show Thing-I is what make Happening-I take place.
Thing-I very useful to the Gathering - see Things Tried on Thing-I.

How we find thing: Thing-I known to the Gathering for long time. But, well working way of how keep Thing-I found by Hunter O██ and Hunter U██ of QHP-I 'Bushwhackers' in cave of Prometheus Caves. Hunter O██ hurt after touch Thing-I with bare hand. Well working way used as how keep thing for Thing-I. Hunter U██ and Hunter O██ get half a mammoth and two woman for exceptional service.

Original visual documentation to SCP-001. Original text:"QHP-I 'Bushwhackers' take Thing-I into Cave-IIII"

Other things-I


WHO TRIED: Shaman A██
THING TRIED: Poke Thing-I with spear.
WHAT HAPPENED: Thing-I spread on spear.

WHO TRIED: Shaman A██
THING TRIED: Piss on spear, Poke Thing-I with spear.
WHAT HAPPENED: Spear dry, smell like piss. Thing-I no spread on spear.

WHO TRIED: Shaman A██
THING TRIED: Piss on Thing-I
WHAT HAPPENED: Thing-I spread on dick. Witch Doctor U██ chief of trying things until Shaman A██ healthy.

WHO TRIED: Witch Doctor U██
THING TRIED: Put meat in Thing-I
WHAT HAPPENED: Thing-I no spread on meat.

WHO TRIED: Witch Doctor U██
THING TRIED: Piss on spear. Use spear to take meat out.
WHAT HAPPENED: Spear dry. Spear smell like piss. Meat tasty, but smell like piss.

WHO TRIED: Huntsman O██
THING TRIED: Put water on spear. Put meat on spear. Put spear in Thing-I
WHAT HAPPENED: Spear dry. Spear no smell like piss. Meat very tasty. Huntsman O██ now Witch Doctor O██

WHO TRIED: Witch Doctor U██
THING TRIED: Throw hemp in Thing-I


On ██████████████████ fullmoon II day since remembered Cave-II no drum in morning. QHP-I "Bushwhackers" send to see what happen. Cave-II found warm inside, with Gathering men killed and [DATA CHISELLED OUT], also on the wall of cave. Killed men show no wound.

Other things-II:

On ████████████████████████████ fullmoon, IIIIII day since remembered, Witch Doctor O█ make Thing-I from nothing with [DATA CHISELLED OUT] very quickly. Thing-I now said to be Understood Thing.
S-IIIII Council


rating: 0+x
SCP-404-J in action Redacted. No one wants to see that. - Dr. W████
D-412, recombined with hawk.

Item #: SCP-404-J

Object Class: Safe, really! Keter, you SICK FUCK!

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-404-J is to be kept in a standard Valuable Object Storage on Site 19, guarded by —two at least twelve heavily armed D-class personnel to prevent unauthorised use — keep goddamn perverts away. —Requests for SCP-404-J use have to be validated by Dr. █████ Eugene Novak. That fucker's name is Eugene Novak.

Description: SCP-404-J is a hall mirror

Addendum 404-J-1: [Optional additional paragraphs]


rating: 0+x
SCP-1103-3 - Frisky Face®

Item #: SCP-1103

Object Class: Safe/Euclid/Keter (indicate which class)

Special Containment Procedures: Outside of scheduled experiments, instances of SCP-1103 are to be stored in a standard large-volume storage refrigerator, at a temperature below 5°C.

Description: SCP-1103 refers to a set of commercially packed human body parts, labelled SCP-1103-1-1 to SCP-1103-1-11. All contained objects vacuum-packed on plastic trays, with the label "Dr. Wondertainment® Young Surgeon's Transplant Kit", and a price tag ranging between $3.99 and $25.99. Several of the packs have an additional sticker showing a stylized bull's head, and the words "CORN BELT" written across its front.
Additional content of the packages varies, however, each package contains an instruction leaflet (see Addendum 1103-1), a set of single-use plastic gloves, and a tube labelled "Dr. Wondertainment® Tube of Wonderlube®", labelled SCP-1103-2. The tube has a break-off end, and contains approximately 5ccm of a translucent, viscous yellow-green liquid of composition resembling blood plasma.
Analysis have shown the tissues to be unusually durable - a sample was able to survive up to three hours exposed to room temperature air,. When vacuum-packed, or submerged in physiologic solution, and cooled to below 5°C, a sample can be stored practically indefinitely. DNA analysis has shown the samples come from distinct individuals of varied race and gender, despite their uniform appearance - the only common trait among them appears to be the blood type of "0" and negative Rhesus factor.

Applying SCP-1103-2 to human or animal tissues results in the temporary loosening of intercellular bonds of a layer approximately 1mm thick, accompanied by mild fluorescence, of duration cca. 5 minutes, after which the surface regains its previous structure. In the case of skin application, the outermost epidermis layer doesn't reconstitute.
If during this time, another tissue sample is brought into contact with the loose cell layer, the surfaces fuse together, and over following 6-14 hours, the interface between the two develops a functioning blood vessel network. Neural connections were initially thought not to develop, subsequent experiments have shown this process to take an average of three weeks. Despite foreign origin, there has only been one case of tissue rejection recorded during testing. (Experiment logs available upon request to all personnel with at least 1-1103 clearance.)

Experiment 1103-2

Recovery Log: SCP-1103 came into attention of the Foundation on ██/10/20██, after an incident at the ████████ National Hospital in ██████, Illinois, when 11 year old J█████ W█████ was hospitalized with hands apparently fused to his face. Interviewing the subject has revealed he has purchased "a joke surgery kit" at "Laughing Matters", a local joke shop, and attempted to use it to graft an additional finger to each of his hands.
Subject's home was searched, resulting in the procurement of an instance of SCP-1043, and a shop bill from "Laughing Matters",confirming the interview data. Investigation of the shop has resulted in seizing additional ██ instances of SCP-1103, however, the owner has been proven to lack any knowledge of SCP-1103's anomalous effects. Investigation into the origin of the anomalous shipment is ongoing.
All involved were treated with Class-A amnesiacs, and evidence linking J█████ W█████'s disfigurement to a gas leak explosion was fabricated.

Addendum 1103-1:

You have successfully purchased Funny Finger Transplant®, a part of Dr. Wondertainment® Young Surgeon's Transplant Kit, and are on your way to become a Young Surgeon!
What do you need to be a Young Surgeon, you ask?
Step 1: Find a friend who needs a finger.
Step 2: Open the Funny Finger Transplant® package without hesitation.
Step 3: Like a real surgeon, put on Dr. Wondertainment®'s Gummy Gloves®. Make sure they are a good fit.
Step 4: Break open the cap of Dr. Wondertainment®'s Tube of Wonderlube®. Don't worry, it won't go off if you keep it cool.
Step 5: Spread a little Wonderlube® on the place that longs for a new digit!
Step 6: Just like traffic lights, wait until you see green light.
Step 7: Take a Funny Finger® and put it where it should go. Make sure you have put it the right way on, or everyone will laugh!
Step 8: Hold it in place for about five seconds. Hurrah! The operation has succeeded, Young Surgeon!

When not being a Young Surgeon, be sure to keep your Dr. Wondertainment® Young Surgeon's Transplant Kit cool!
Do not touch the Wonderlube® with bare hands! Be careful when pulling down the Gummy Gloves®!
Be precise, like a real surgeon! Once the Funny Finger is in place, you won't be able to get it off that easily!

If you enjoy being a Young Surgeon, consider buying Dr. Wondertainment® Young Surgeon's Human Construction Set!

Warning: May contain traces of nuts!


Yoric's challenge - SCP whose containment procedures legit. involve wearing a tinfoil or Al. foil hat.

mass spectrometry

Titanium, Ti: The holy grail of hollywood metallurgy, this metal is often treated as the Superman of materials. In reality it's a lot more like Xander Harris - reliable and useful, but it's not magic, and rarely works well on its own.
Pure titanium has a tensile strength - basically , the maximum pulling force per surface area a specimen can withstand - of about 434 MPa. For comparison, Al-Cu-Mg alloys (dural) typically reach 450 MPa, and medium carbon steels go up to 1200 MPa. As such, designing a containment cell with titanium walls makes about as much sense as importing a Trabant via airlift would make for an American - you aren't getting the value for your money, and the only people it'll impress are those with no idea what you are talking about.
Titanium alloys have far better properties in this respect, matching steels, but with a far lower density.21 As such , it is well suited for aerospace applications, but given that mass is rarely an issue in containment cell design, steel is most likely a better option.
There's a couple of cases where titanium plating on the inside of a containment cell would work well - titanium is resistant to most dilute acids and chemical corrosive agents, and has a high melting point - around 1900 K.22 Therefore, using such designs to contain heat-based entities, or objects that chemically attack their surroundings works well as an alternative to ceramic plating in cases where the latter's mechanical properties (low fracture toughness for one) might pose a problem.


rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-1055

Object Class: Euclid


Special Containment Procedures: Specimens of SCP-1055 are not to be taken out of Bio-Containment Site-11. Personnel interacting with SCP-1055 samples is to don class-B hazardous materials protection gear, due to fine particulate contamination; the foot-wear is required to have continuous copper plating to prevent surface wear. A water misting system consisting of copper high-pressure sprinklers placed in regular intervals no smaller than one per 4 metres squared is to be set up in order to limit pollen spread.

Specimens of SCP-1055 encountered outside Bio-Containment Site-11 are to be promptly incinerated, including heat treatment of the soil surface layer. Selective insecticide treatment of infected areas and immediate surroundings to cull bees approved in order to prevent proliferation of pollen by means of honey. Any existing honey from areas within 5 kilometres from suspected SCP-1055 agents is to be sterilised by a temperature of at least 85 degrees Celsius over the course of two minutes - a cover citing Escherischia coli contamination is recommended.
SCP-1055-2 are to be administered class-B amnesiacs and kept for an observation period of 4 weeks, upon which they are to be administered class-A amnesiacs and released.

Description: SCP-1055 refers to a population of agricultural plants, mainly Zea mays, Beta vulgaris and Solanum tuberosum, located on a field near ███████, southern Ukraine (currently Bio-Containment Site-11) . Specimens of SCP-1055 tend to be of above average size and yield, and their seeds have an unusually high germination rate ,though this might be attributed to exceptional care. All species of SCP-1055 share a common set of anomalous traits:

I. The root system of SCP-1055 specimens is abnormally extensive, growing through the soil to form a dense mat that extends over the field's area, and to a depth of approximately 30cm. The roots are a host to a wide range of bacterial life - several species of Acetobacter,Clostridium,Rhizobium,Rhodococcus, as well as a number of unidentified species have been isolated. Experiments with laboratory cultures have shown introduced standardized samples of animal and plant tissue, fur, bone, wood, as well as several polymers and ██████ to decompose within the range of several weeks at most. While living organisms are usually able to withstand short- to medium-term exposure, prolonged contact (usually in the range of hours) tends to cause localised epidermis breakdown resulting in inflammation rapidly progressing into gangrene if untreated, however, early intravenous vancomycin, or fluoroquinolone class antibiotics treatment has been shown effective in over 85% cases.

Hand of D-134 6 hours after SCP-1055 exposure.

II. Specimens of SCP-1055 flower through almost their entire life-cycle, and emit a particulate, labelled SCP-1055-1. SCP-1055 has a low density, and is capable of aerial transmission with significant concentrations recorded up to distance of ███ metres from the site.
Herbivores and omnivores coming into contact with SCP-1055-1 will, over the course of app. 12 hours, undergo a set of behavioral changes, most important of which is the reluctance to consume most plant matter, and conversely, development of a strong preference for meat consumption, even if not naturally adapted for such. (see Addendum 1055-1:) Exposing natural carnivores to SCP-1055-1 produces no observable effects.
In human subjects, labelled SCP-1055-2, the above is followed by the development of a mentality best described as "plant worship"23. SCP-1055-2 are protective of SCP-1055, watering areas of growth and fertilising them with gathered waste such as food remains, fecal matter, assorted plastics, removing pests and weed, and attacking perceived threats to SCP-1055 well-being.

Recovery Log: SCP-1041 came to the attention of the Foundation on ██/██/19██ after reports of unusual animal behaviour, and missing people were reported from the towns around a farm belonging to "AGROEKSPORT ██████", little is known of the company at the moment. The incidents culminated with Stepan I█████, a local herder reporting instances of "mad cow disease" among his stock. An autopsy of several of the carcasses on his parcel found significant amounts of an unknown substance (later identified as SCP-1055-1) in their respiratory system; as a conclusion, the investigation team was issued with class B hazardous materials equipment. Stepan I█████ was interviewed by Agent Uhliar, and administered class A amnesiacs.

The investigation team proceeded to comb the area based on information obtained. A detachment consisting of agents Uhliar, Ivanov and Petrus was ambushed by a number of feral goats, injuring Agent Uhliar. Agent Petrus opened fire, hitting several of them; the remaining goats ceased their attack, and attempted to gore and consume the wounded, allowing the investigation team to take them down with no further casualties. Upon inspection the carcasses showed signs of malnourishment, and SCP-1055-1 contamination.
The detachment was able to follow their tracks towards the main site of SCP-1055 contamination.

Addendum 1041-1:

TEST #: 1041/IV.1
SUBJECT: 50 specimens of adult Leptinotarsa decemlineata
METHOD: SCP-1041-1 introduced into containment vessel.

TEST #: 1041/IV.2
SUBJECT: 50 specimens of adult Leptinotarsa decemlineata
METHOD: SCP-1041-1 producing organs taken from SCP-1041 (Solanum tuberosum) introduced into containment vessel.
<t+0> Specimens consumed parts of introduced sample.
<t+30> No effect
<t+60> One specimen ceased to feed
<t+120> 15 specimens ceased to feed
<t+180> 40 specimens ceased to feed.
<t+240> Another six specimens ceased to feed. 16 previously affected specimens became aggressive, persistently attempting to attack others, particularly the 4 unaffected specimens.
<t+260> 20 more specimens became aggressive. An agglomeration of fighting insects has formed at the bottom of the containment vessel
<t+270> All specimens agglomerated at the bottom of the containment vessel, at least 15 apparently expired.
<t+300> No new developments, experiment concluded. Five deceased insects stored for later analysis, rest of sample incinerated


TEST #: 1041/IV.5
SUBJECT: 10 rats, standard laboratory breed.
METHOD: SCP-1041-1 introduced into containment vessel.
RESULT: Within 4 hours, 7 specimens begin showing signs of agitation. All but one specimen ignore standard alfalfa pellets from this point. Within 6 hours ,instances of fighting and cannibalism appear within the group. Fighting mostly ceased after removal of deceased specimens (3) and introduction fresh meat and dog food pellets into containment vessel, as specimens proceeded to feed.
Note: Long term observation shows the specimens to prosper, although showing a lack of certain nutrients. Dr. R█████
TEST #: 1041/IV.8
SUBJECT: D-325, 28 year old male of Indian descent, vegetarian
METHOD: SCP-1041-1 introduced into containment vessel


rating: 0+x
SCP-1043-1, in the early stages of constructing SCP-1043-2-3

Item #: SCP-1043

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1043 is to be held within a containment room in Storage Unit 9 at Site-33. The air humidity within the containment unit shouldn't exceed 5% to prevent devaluation of SCP-1043, as well as a potential containment breach.Experimentation on SCP-1043 requires approval of level 3 personnel due to limited amount available.

-Uncontained instances of SCP-1043-1 are to be left to proceed to completion; a mobile perimeter is to be estabilished around them to prevent public exposure. Resulting SCP-1043-2 is to be demolished and rubble, along with the foundation of solidified SCP-1043-1 removed, and stored at nearest Low-hazard Anomalous Materials Bulk Storage facility.-
A mobile perimeter is to be estabilished around uncontained instances of SCP-1043-1 for the purposes of monitoring. If the emerging SCP-1043-2 doesn't resemble any of the forms described in Addendum 1043-1, the area extending to a radius of at least 200 metres from the edge of SCP-1043-1 in question is to be evacuated, and procedure 28-Surtur applied.
Otherwise, resulting SCP-1043-2 is to be demolished and rubble, along with the foundation of solidified SCP-1043-1 removed, and stored at nearest Low-hazard Anomalous Materials Bulk Storage facility.

Description: SCP-1043 refers to approximately 31 134 sacks, labeled "MOLISOLUS MARK III" and numbers "I" to "V" in large red lettering, . On the lower right corner of each sack is a green stamp detailing a winged arm holding a hammer, and the designation "APOLLODORUS CONSTRUCTION COMBINE". The sacks contain a grey-green powdery substance, which, if mixed with water and applied onto soil, recombines with it to form SCP-1043-1.

SCP-1043-1 is a self-propagating soil anomaly, appearing similar to a pool of concrete. SCP-1043-1 at this stage has been shown to have remarkable surface tension, able to support pressures of up to 40 kPa.
If removed from the main pool, samples of SCP-1043-1 cease activity and coalesce, producing an isotropic grey solid of stiffness similar to concrete, but a far higher yield strength - Vickers hardness 50 HD30, but otherwise lacking anomalous properties. Laboratory analysis has revealed the composition to be that of surrounding substrate with SCP-1043 acting as a resin of sorts. Initially, an instance of SCP-1043-1 propagates at a rate of approximately ██ m² , assimilating surrounding soil, until reaching a depth of cca. 1.5m and a final area of cca. 8 times the area covered by the resulting SCP-1043-2.

After approximately ██ hours, a number of ambulatory growths bearing outwards resemblance to human arms begin to form within SCP-1043-1. Once fully formed, the growths proceed to use SCP-1043-1, as well as occasionally salvage raw materials within the perimeter affected by SCP-1043-1 to construct a structure or object, labeled SCP-1043-2 (see Addendum 1043-1 for a list of SCP-1043-2 types known). After the construction is complete, leftover SCP-1043-1 retreats towards the centre and hardens, providing a foundation for the structure.
Experimenting with decreasing the quantity of SCP-1043 used has shown the process to successfully complete, however, the base layer is proportionally thinner, and beyond a point characterised by the thickness of the transformed soil layer not exceeding ██cm, the process fails to complete.

Addendum 1043-1:


Designation: SCP-1043-2-1
Appearance: A smooth-walled rectangular building of base cca. 30x20 metres, and height of cca. 10 metres. The interior divides into two floors, each containing 41 identical rooms, and one of about twice the size. The smaller rooms' walls and floor contain a number of protrusions bearing outward resemblance to shelves, bedding, and a table. The larger room's floor contains several holes cca. 25cm in diameter - these terminate below the structure's base. The microstructure of most surfaces has been found to physically interfere with germ growth.

Designation: SCP-1043-2-2
Appearance: A semi-circular dome approximately 16 metres in radius, with decorative elements resembling the architecture of Mussolini-era Italy. There are four entrances, located 90 degrees apart. The interior contains a raised podium, and approximately 500 irregularly arranged seating places, connected via stairs.The internal walls and roof curve considerably and contain a large number of structural features. Analysis has shown the structure to possess excellent auditory properties.

Incident 1043-1:

On ██/██/20██ , members of MTF Chi-4 "Brick Breakers" were dispatched to a supposed instance of SCP-836 infestation in ██████, Canada. However, on-site assessment has shown this to be an uncharacteristic instance of SCP-1043, spreading rapidly in an approximately 10 cm deep layer, and repurposing material within its perimeter to repeatedly construct what appeared to be several sections of a statue24 and fuse them in a seemingly random arrangement, forming a mound approximately ██ m in diameter.
Procedure 28-Surtur used upon operative approval by Dr. G████ shown successful in halting SCP-1043-1 activity.

Incident 1043-2:

On ██/██/20██, a raid on the ████████ █████, a coffee shop suspected to serve as a cover for "Are We Cool Yet?" activity related to the spreading of SCP-███ as a part of the recent "We are the 99 bottles" campaign.
Among the items obtained was a Moleskine notebook containing sketches resembling SCP-1043-1 and detailed drawings of structures resembling SCP-1018 , SCP-███, as well as objects of seemingly impossible geometry. The drawings are dimensioned, and surrounded by stenographic markings, a number of yet-undeciphered symbols, as well as arbitrary content such as stylized sketches of common objects , and a drawing of a nude female identified as A███ P█████.
The notebook contains a number of fingerprint marks, which have been determined to consist of SCP-1043 powder.
Page 23 of the notebook shows a crossed out drawing with features similar to the structure encountered by MTF Chi-4 during Incident 1043-1. It is followed by a number of calculations, ending with "A=43.2[unknown symbol]**2i FUCK YEAH!" underlined twice.
Scanned copies of the notebook's contents are available to personnel with 2-1043 clearance.


rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-839

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-839 is to be placed in a reinforced steel safe of appropriate dimensions, and guarded by at least 1 security personnel at all times.
Experiments with SCP-839 are to be conducted such that no straight line originating at the device intersects structural walls, other containment areas or areas with a high concentration of Foundation personnel sooner than 4 meters of length - outside testing grounds are reccomended.


SCP-839 is an anomalous carnival high-striker, consisting of an hammer and an anvil.The hammer, designated SCP-839-1 consists of a wooden handle measuring 65cm, and a steel head of 10 cm cross-section, spray-painted red. The striking surfaces are somewhat worn and pitted. The anvil, designated SCP-839-2, measures 1.5 metres and is spray-painted red, except for the bell, which is unpainted, and scale, coloured yellow with black writing. The striking surface has marks of similar wearing as the hammer, and upon procurement, less accessible places contained traces of fur, human hair, and unidentified organic residue.Both items are stamped with "Biglicious Barter Banger by (c) Dr. Wondertainment", while the anvil has an additional "Insert life here, get a prize" stamp.

Notes on prank war.

"Bloody Los… Surprised that even worked as a prank… " Researcher Eisenberg sat at his desk, absentmindedly stroking Nastasia, his linen cat. "I'll teach him to cut the latin…wait, that's an idea.".
Researcher Eisenberg rushed out of his office, and returned rather sweaty, holding a heavy Latin dictionary. Work has just begun.

About an hour later - languages weren't exactly his strong side - Researcher Eisenberg arrived into the containment cell of SCP-758, with a sheet of paper heavily worn out with eraser marks. It might have been his imagination, but it seemed that upon seeing it, Vasili let out a sigh before introducing an ample amount of corrections.

"Bloody hell, hope this ink is black enough…" His sweaty hands grabbed the worn leather of SCP-141, an act that would make many a bibliophile cringe, and he began to laboriously scribble onto the first free page, trying to imitate the original writing as well as possible. "..e-ra-tio … that should be it". Shaking with expectation, he ran to the nearest internet-enabled terminal.
A quick search, and even quicker email from a disposable address later, Vladim. A. Eisenberg, in his mind already a Senior Researcher, walked back to his office.

Sitting at his desk, Dr. Los was enjoying the fruit of a day's work - he had already gained SCP-050 twice today, and that spoke of something, didn't it? "Gee, being called Loser and winning… sounds like a hipster schti-"
His thoughts were interrupted by a kick into the door, and in the next moment, he had to take cover behind his desk from a hail of bullets, accompanied by an even stronger hail of high-fidelity Russian swearing. A desk that the monkey statue has conveniently disappeared from.

To: gro.pcs|vokinlertsad#gro.pcs|vokinlertsad
From: moc.rotaniliam|detimilnu_sexnyl#moc.rotaniliam|detimilnu_sexnyl
Subject: Take a look at who you work with, Dimitri
Dr. Los is an interesting man, isn't it?

Researcher Eisenberg prepared himself a cup of tea, and against all rules of hygiene, kissed the small statue.

Far Recon charsheet.

Player Name



Sándor Munkás


Somewhat creepy technician and explosives expert.


Aspect 1: That creepy reptile guy : Sandor has a pet snake, and is a fan of reptiles in general. On the plus side, he doesn't afraid of them, and can handle them well, on other side, he has to force himself to harm even the more dangerous ones, like you'd have trouble with , say kittens, even if they were five feet.
Aspect 2: That creepy reptile guy: Adherent of the "She loves me, she just doesn't know it yet" philosophy. Sometimes exhibits stalkerish tendencies.
Aspect 3: Boom chicka boom: There are few sights as satisfying as seeing something burst into flames, be it through the use of explosives, napalm, or something more ordinary. That, and the work involved in preparing it is a wonderful challenge.


  • Engineering: 8
  • Persuasion: 2
  • Science: 3
  • Perception: 3
  • Technology(Mechanical): 8
  • Technology(Electronic): 6
  • Ranged Weapons: 4
  • Physical Defense: 6
  • Mental Defense: 6
  • Body: 6
  • Mind: 6
  • Action Points: 3
  • Load Limit: 6
  • XP Held: 0
  • XP Used: 0

Only include the skills you have points in - erase the rest. Everyone starts with 3 Action points, unless told otherwise by a GM. You cannot put points into XP, so don't even try. If you have equipment that boosts the skill, list it beside the skill in parentheses along with what the bonus is. If the equipment piece boosts multiple skills, place it beside each skill that it boosts.


None so far


  • CZ-75 handgun.
  • Leatherman.
  • Toolbag with assorted equipment.
  • The pet snake he keeps in a terrarium at work.
  • Laptop

Personal History

An engineer of Hungarian descent, graduated from a state polytechnic and held an unexceptional job. Well, until the state found out that he'd been making sizable amounts of quality homemade explosives and selling them on as a "salary bonus". Recruited to the Foundation as a more favourable alternative to jailtime, or so he thought. Currently a technician at Area-354 - he has survived long enough to start liking his job again, especially given that it allows for larger expression of some of his tendencies.


Physical description - A really old sketch of him, which had less explicitly reptilian eyes and so works for this here too. About 5'7'' in height, black hair. 26 years old. Tends to fiddle with something constantly, or spin a writing instrument - has to do something with his hands.


rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-1011

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1011-1 is to be kept at Hall-07 at Site 35. Two guards are to be present at all times at the entrance to Hall-07 to prevent the removal of SCP-1011-1. The D-class population working on Site 35 as a part of currently running experiment is suspended from monthly termination schedule due to the extended length of time needed to study the effects of SCP-1011-1. As material produced during the experiment appears to lack anomalous properties, its use is approved for non-critical applications as defined in document CSG-0371-N.

Description:SCP-1011-1 is a statue approximately 2 m tall, weighing approximately 4 200 kg, depicting a worker whose head has been replaced by an assortment of tools. The pedestal bears an inscription stating "Man is the most important means of production," and the year of casting, stated to be 1927.
Material analysis has revealed the composition to be ordinary cast iron with 2.3 wt% carbon content.

SCP-1011-1's anomalous properties manifest when it is seen by human subjects who will engage in productive labor no later than three hours after the sighting, and escalate slowly with additional exposure. Denial of exposure to SCP-1011-1 has been shown sufficient to halt the progress of the condition.

During stage I, subjects, designated SCP-1011-2, will begin to demonstrate a heightened sense of morale and satisfaction, voluntarily working longer hours and paying increased attention to their task. As the phase progresses, SCP-1011-2 cease activities other than work, sleep, and satisfying basic bodily needs.

After approximately ██ months, stage II is marked by the SCP-1011-2 initially beginning to show reluctance to use means of personal safety, such as helmets, gloves or safety glasses. When questioned, SCP-1011-2 respond finding them "unnecessary" and "binding". As the phase progresses, SCP-1011-2 also slowly cease to utilize tools, favoring the use of their own body even at risk of minor damage. This phase lasts for further ██ months approximately.

The onset of stage III is marked by insomnia in SCP-1011-2. Instead they congregate within eyesight of SCP-1011-1, and cease movement, staring at it for 3 hours a day average. The effects of stage II progress with an almost complete abandonment of tool and machine use by SCP-1011-2, with them often acting in groups to replace lost functionality. Body deformations appear on SCP-1011-2 at this stage, which tend to facilitate their tasks. SCP-1011-2 at this stage have a marked resistance to pain. This stage lasts indefinitely.

On at least one occasion known, the condition caused by SCP-1011-1 progresses into stage IV - terminal stage. During this stage, SCP-1011-2 use one another as construction material, depleting the population of an afflicted factory in a matter of days. Despite extensive experimentation with possible triggers, attempts to initiate terminal stage among the D-class population of Site 35 have been unsuccessful.

Recovery Log: SCP-1011-1 came into attention of the Foundation at ████████ Steelworks of 28th October, Bashkir ASSR, RSFSR, Soviet Union. (currently Site 35) on ██/██/1947, after an inspection was mandated as a part of price-awarding procedure due to the consistent exceeding of production targets25 . (see Addendum 1011-1). However, before containment by the Foundation could be attempted, it was taken off limits by agents of Psychotronics Department of GRU - at around this time stage IV has apparently occurred. (see Addendum 1011-2 for a leaked report section).
Following the dissolution of USSR in 1991, Foundation agents persuaded the government of Russian Federation to decommission and sell the site to a Foundation front-end for [REDACTED] dollars, and Site 35 was estabilished around it.

Addendum 1011-1:


The directing committee of [REDACTED] welcomed me cordially, however I couldn't help but notice a marked lack of focus and erratic behaviour on their part. Comrade M████████ kept talking about what a marvelous effect the statue that has been installed in the hall during the last 5-year plan has had on worker morale, and what a work of socialist art it is, and urged me to see it as soon as possible. On the other hand, Comrade T███████ constantly filled in assorted forms, with what appeared to be just his finger, though I might be mistaken.
The conditions in the main foundry are unfitting for the basic dignity of socialist man. Men barehandedly handle red-hot ingots, their hands black and shriveled, others pound rivets into sheet metal with their heads; I have seen two men use the back of third to saw through a log, his back covered in sharp ridges not found on a healthy person. They seem to feel no discomfort, and smile eagerly at every visitor. About a [DATA EXPUNGED] wire acted as a human lifting mechanism of sorts - when five of them fell into the molten metal, another replaced them within moments. Comrade M████████ , who was my guide on the tour didn't appear to find any wrongs with the present arrangement, answering a few of my questions reluctantly, then continuing to extol the virtues of the statue.
I request immediate shutdown of operations at ████████ Steelworks of 28th October, its quarantining and further investigation. Despite the exceptional effort needed towards the rebuilding of our Fatherland, this is decisively not the path we are to take. Furthermore, the observed could be signs of sabotage as per the recent circulatory detailing min[DATA EXPUNGED].
Michail Vsevolodovic S█████.

Addendum 1011-2:


…Upon arrival, the site appeared to be deserted. The offices were empty, no sight of either the directors or the party committee. The hall containing the object contained several piles of clothing and some [DATA EXPUNGED] but otherwise nothing notable. Lieutenant N████ appeared overly disturbed and obsessed by it, but I managed to force him to follow on.
In the main foundry we found 94 of produced ingots, the last 15 of which having a distinct texture. Scraping one with my knife revealed considerable softness of the material and I was able to dislodge bone-like segments. The furnace was cooled, inspection revealed it containing remains of blood and scraps of tissue, however [DATA EXPUNGED]stency. Large segments of the rolling and extrusion assembly were replaced by severely [DATA EXPUNGED] apparently expired.
encountered one of the former workers, He lacked clothing and his ana[DATA EXPUNGED]. Ignored questioning and kept repeating "Job's done." He was detained for further questioning.


rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-072

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-072 should be contained in Standard Humanoid Containment on Site 17. A single 200 watt full spectrum light bulb should be installed in the SHC , being lit at all times. SCP-072 requires no other nourishment. Audio recordings in Russian should be made available on request.
The residue of SCP-072 should be kept in a ceramic urn in Low Value Containment Unit on Site 17.

Description: Although his appearance varies, in the presence of an appropriate light source (spectrum similar to solar radiation, uniform illuminance at least 60 kilolux) , SCP-072 appears as a middle-aged Caucasian male measuring 177 cm and weighing 80 kg. He is illiterate, and his age is unknown.
Subject's apparent age varies depending on the intensity of sunlight or equivalent full spectrum light source - the specific wavelengths required are as of now unknown.
Specifically, when the illuminance drops below 30 kilolux , SCP-072 appears to age at a proportional rate, up to approximately 20 years/hour.



Addendum-072-X: Special Containment Procedures revised with respect to the updated Optimal Efficiency Guidelines as per document OEG-210597-CP-H-14 by order of Dr. █████.

Lab Induction

"Welcome to the Level 1 Research Staff Laboratory Induction. "

"My name is Dr. Eisenberg. Now , all of you are probably asking yourself 'Who the hell is that?' and 'Why isn't someone like Dr. Gears introducing us instead, being that he's head of the research site?' Let me put it this way. That monkey you saw down the hallway? That's Dr. Bright. Like Dr. Gears, he is Level 4 Research Staff, which means he is considered about as important as two-three roomfuls of you here.. including myself. It also means they get to ehm, relegate administrative tasks, so do level 3's, the shit falls through… you'll see. But it isn't so bad."

"Now, all of you here folks joined the Foundation because we pay off your college debt, pay you a decent salary, and allow you to get your doctorates done. We're kinda like the army, just that we don't make anyone march uphill like an idiot."

"Now, good news is, we don't care what college you went into, as long as you have a working head on your shoulders - for one, as you probably heard, what we got here doesn't only fuck with physics, it makes porn of it, so there's hundreds of experiments that need to be run, and that's what we need you for. And for two, you will be working as assistants to other researchers ,who will outline your tasks in a way that doesn't require you to go through tons of theory. You carry out the experiments, you write down the findings carefully and anything unexpected even more carefully, and that's pretty much it for 90% of the time."

"However, it isn't all that easy, and I'd like to say a few things to help you survive until it pays off. See, you might hear essentially everyone else bitching about how hard and risky their job is, but it's a matter of fact that the researchers aren't any better off. Intel just watches stuff from afar, if an MTF sees something they don't like, they get to "retreat" , but we, not only have nowhere to go if shit hits the fan, we have to take whatever they bring in, and prod it until we find out what exactly does it do, and how to prevent it from doing that without control. So. listen carefully."

"Now, first, es-cee-pees… they probably told you the gist of what we do here on the main briefing, with all the other folks there - the supposed House MD's and James Bonds and John Rambo, so i don't need to go through all that shit. Now. If you're in direct contact with a Keter class object you're likely fucked, and well, pure Euclids you'll meet only during initial containment, and there's little advice i can give you for that. What I'll speak about are the 'Safe''s. The bureaucratic cunt who thought up that name probably never seen one."

"Do *not* fuck about with a safe es-cee-pee, and mainly, do *not* let your guard down. The most dangerous times when researching an object isn't the first time you're around it, it's the umpteenth time you've been asked to collect a bunch of data, think you know exactly what it can do, and get careless. Might seem odd now, but you will begin thinking like that, no matter how weird or dangerous the item you work with is. It's human nature, something about psychological baselines but I'm a metallurgist, not a shrink. I guess it's so since in most of the world, if something does A for five hundred times, it won't do B for the five hundredth one time."

" Here, not so much - it's how half the stuff in containment gets their 'Euclid'. For example, the two staff that died swilling their own shit because of one nine eight - shapeshifter cup from the devil's mother we thought we had contained. One of them was a researcher like you, and all he did was reach for what he thought was his own thermos on the desk in front of him - turns out the bloody thing teleports every so often."

"Second thing. D-Class. Disposables. The folks in orange jumpsuits recruited from death row inmates. Their main official purpose is to manipulate Keter class objects so that we don't have to. That much you heard on the briefing. They are also used for human testing of es-cee-pees. Now, listen well, and you back there, try looking a bit less freaked out - we aren't fucking schutzstaffel.
Now, the official documents say they are terminated at the end of each month, and so will die anyways. Now, I seriously doubt that, given the amount of them even I use, and since you aren't brain dead, you will probably doubt it too. You might even get reluctant to terminate D-classes that you have run a set of experiments on."

"Let me run with a practical example. One of the memetic es-cee-pees we had on site, relatively harmless thing, a jingle or a song of sort. There, with the suspenders? What's a meme? How can I put it.. memes are malicious ideas. They break your mind's programming if they are read in, from any source. Sort of like the computer viruses bored Bulgarian youths write - no matter if it's from a floppy or email attachment, it does the same, whether it's displaying a silly message, or making your hard disk plow. Over there? What? That's a cognitohazard, not a meme? You're probably right, I don't work with these.. .either way, what it does is more important to what it's called. "

"Either way, researcher who did the testing was "humanistic" - he didn't know better. Returned the D-class he used to the pool, not even with a note about what's been done. A few days later, we contained another memetic SCP, one that killed people, it was an image. Another researcher who ran tests on that one, by incidence, took in the same D-class. In his mind, the two memes merged somehow. From what the camera feeds show, the man started babbling, then tore his own trachea out, and so did the researcher and the two security staff present."

"So yes. There's a reason why their papers contain a short summary of what they were sentenced for, beyond selecting a fitting psychological profile for es-cee-pee testing. Read it through. And any time you get the urge of returning a used D-class back to the pool, think to yourself 'Is prolonging the life of a rapist worth risking the life of my colleagues and friends?'."

"Now, that's all of me, really. Questions?"

"You with that look? Demotion to D-class? Ah fuck, who told you that? I thought so.. see, that, and Keter duty is one of the pieces of bullshit we scare the greenhorns with. Now, see.. most of the ways you can fuck up here, we'll have no one to punish, and taking out sensitive information, they'd kill you for that everywhere. "

"Next one. Why do you have to stay on site? Probation period, really. For the next six months. Those who go through it, you'll get your level 1 permanent clearances, and will be able to spend their time off wherever. Those who don't.. you'll get class B amnesiacs and forget everything you ever experienced here. Which isn't as bad as it sounds - we'll still give you the salary. "

"Guy in polo shirt? Where's the best place to meet women in here? The Internet… Joking. Try Bio section's staff break room, lots of cute girls there, like Rights."

"You there, girl with glasses? Why don't we research the objects so they can help mankind? Well, i could say that… Screw it. Know what? You can. If you succeed, and develop a theory that explains and reproduces an object, it'll get reclassified as SCP-EX, leaked to the public, and you might get a promotion out of it. SO far, i have heard of about five people succeeding.. in the last century. Hell, I'm still trying to work out what triggers structural cancer, and the six of us have been messing with it for two years by now."

"Go on. What do you need to get promoted? Ambitious,aren't we? Well, goes like this. You finish your degree, and then you either leave with the civies, or you stay with us, sign a permanent contract, and get level 2 clearance. After that, it's a matter of luck and arseclimbery, and since I have neither, I'm still stuck as a Researcher."

"Another girl? A dog somehow got into the on-site showers? That'd be Professor Crow. Next time he does that, steal his glasses.
Anyways, you're all dismissed - in a while, security personnel will escort you to the researchers that you'll be working for. In the meantime there's some coffee and donuts here too, so help yourself."


rating: 0+x
Several instances of SCP-936

Item #: SCP-936

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Specimens of SCP-936 are to be kept on the grounds of Bio Research Site-104, enclosed by a fence to prevent unauthorised access, and watered daily. Approximately once a month, the plantation is to be screened for any SCP-936-1 by two (2) D-Class personnel of adequate physical ability and SCP-936-1 are to be harvested according to site plan. Harvested SCP-936-2 are to be incinerated if unused, can be fed to contained carnivores upon removal of seeds, which are to be incinerated.
Following Incident 936-1, the D-class personnel performing the screening are to to be screened thoroughly for infectious diseases, and are to use sterile gloves and facial filters to prevent contamination.

Uncontained SCP-936 instances are to be dug out and any SCP-936-1 and SCP-936-2 incinerated. For purposes of containment, the Foundation is to ensure SCP-936 is declared an invasive species.

Description: SCP-936 is a species of deciduous, self-pollinating tree resembling Fagus sylvatica, inhabiting the region of northern and eastern Europe, most notably clustering around ██████, Ukraine. SCP-936 is capable of forming clonal colonies, the ol[DATA EXPUNGED].
It has been shown that the roots of SCP-936 are host to nitrogen-fixing bacteria, similarly to the legumes - as during most of its lifecycle, the plant doesn't display anomalous properties, checking for unusual soil nitration levels shows promise as an identification method.
SCP-936 is monoecious, and during flowering, specimens can be recognised by an unusually high male to female flower ratio - there are only several dozen female flowers, usually growing directly on older wood. Out of those, on average, less than six continue development, and it is rare for more than a single fruit to reach maturity.
The resulting fruit, classified SCP-936-1 is covered in a green cupule, and rapidly grows towards its ripe mass of app. 85 kg; SCP-936's foliage grows denser in order to cover for the energetic expenditure. Dissection has revealed the inside of SCP-936-1 contains a length of stem wrapping around a structure closely resembling a human body, designated SCP-936-2. Tissue samples obtained from SCP-936-1 physiologically resemble human tissue, possessing functionality in most aspects26 , with the exception of ██████, █████ and ███████ █████ which contain a mass of brown-black seeds approximately 3cm in diameter.
As SCP-936-1 reaches maturity , the stem thickens considerably and the cupule wilts, eventually breaking, and causing SCP-936-2 to descend, hanging from the stem which in most cases wraps around its cervical region.
The appearance of SCP-936-2 produced by a single SCP-936 varies in size, visual appearance and apparent gender with no discernible pattern.
The seeds within SCP-936-2 have a thick skin, and take approximately sixteen months to germinate. However if exposed to an acidic enviroment (pH < 2), germination occurs within ██ weeks.

Recovery Log SCP-936 was first discovered near ██████, Finland, after reports of an unusually high reported suicide rate. Intelligence agent ████ 's report has revealed this to be due to the statistics including a number of nude hanging victims being periodically discovered on trees in the nearby ████ forest, and the local cemetery, their identity being impossible to determine.
Suspecting a cognitohazard, a perimeter was estabilished around said yard under the premise of widespread bark beetle infection, and the site was placed under observation.
During observation period, new corpse discovered despite security footage showing no violations of perimeter within assumed time of death and autopsy revealed anomalies inconsistent with human anatomy, notably, seeds located in [REDACTED]. Agent F████ noted that all victims have been found hanging from a single species of tree, and a thorough examination has resulted in the procurement several samples of unripe SCP-936-1 , leading to SCP-936 classification.
MTF Xi-8 "Spearhunters" performed removal of all instances of SCP-936 within an surrounding area of 45 km sq. Obtained seeds contained at Bio Research Site-104.

Addendum 936-1:


SUBJECT: D-532, 25 year old male
GRAFT: 100 cm sq. of skin taken from SCP-936-2
RESULT: Skin graft implanted successfully. Skin shows higher mechanical resistance, possibly due to interstitial cellulose fibers. However, incisions take longer to heal, and poor resistance to UV light.

SUBJECT: D-532, 25 year old male
GRAFT: muscular tissue taken from biceps of SCP-936-2.
RESULT: Muscle graft implanted successfully. Muscular tissue appears to behave ordinarily, and has similar strength/volume ratio.Despite D-821 being restrained for several days due to operation , implanted muscle showed no traces of atrophy. Subject D-821's diet switched to protein-deficient - measurements of rate of muscle loss showed this to be lower by a factor of ██.

SUBJECT: D-231, 30 year old male.
GRAFT: Kidneys.
RESULT: Graft implanted successfully. Kidneys shown to have remarkable liquid economy. Subject expired due to renal failure after seven weeks.

SUBJECT: D-512, 23 year old female
GRAFT: Digestive system taken from SCP-936-2
RESULT: Graft implanted successfully. D-532, instead of via regular digestion, appears to absorb products of bacterial decay - intestinal microflora changed substantially. D-532 appears emaciated. D-532's urine abnormal - further testing shows intestinal flora removes cca.██% of urea from her bloodstream and reprocesses it.
I suspect the new intestinal tract isn't long enough for this mode of digestion. - Dr ██████
SUBJECT: D-721, 25 year old female
RESULT: Graft implanted successfully. D-721 appears to produce a steady supply of seeds.

SUBJECT: D-723, 31 year old female
GRAFT: Subject impregnated with sperm harvested from SCP-936-1.
RESULT: Pregnancy appears to progress normally, however after ██ weeks, ultrasound reading [DATA EXPUNGED]01. Foetus artificially aborted.
Note: This might explain why man[DATA EXPUNGED] - Dr. Eisenberg

Addendum 936-2:

Incident 936-1:
On ██/██/19██ , one of the D-class personnel tasked with SCP-936-1 harvest, later shown suffering from a rhinovirus infection, transmitted the virus onto at least one SCP-936-1. The infection spread through as of yet unknown means, causing a crop failure SCP-936 , heavily delaying research progress. Removal of infected/dead SCP-936-1 successful in halting infection progress.


rating: 0+x
Growth stage of SCP-836, structure seen from above

Item #: SCP-836

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Live samples of SCP-836 should be stored on glass in a two-layer CFRP casing filled with air with specific humidity not exceeding 5%. The inner casing should be periodically checked for signs of excessive thinning and/or damage, replacing panels if necessary., Damaged panels are to be sterilised by heating them to a temperature exceeding 950 degrees Celsius over a course of five minutes; subsequently they can be treated as regular waste or used as substrate.
In the case of inner casing breach, outer casing as well as the entire storage room are to be urgently subjected to similar heat treatment.
The storage unit for SCP-836 samples may not be connected to any other SCP unit structurally or via engineering networks.

In the case of an uncontained SCP-836 outbreak, the local utilities networks are to be shut down and the area radiating at least 200 metres from any infected building is to be evacuated and subjected to procedure 28-Surtur (suggested cover: military satellite planned crash)
The area of within 2 km radius of SCP-836 outbreak is to be monitored for presence of further outbreaks for a period of 14 months.

In areas marked as at-risk for SCP-836 outbreaks, building codes should be edited so as to ensure the systematic replacement of structures over 70 years of age.

Description: SCP-836 is the designation given to a condition occuring within clay, bricks or concrete, though secondary propagation can affect most known structural materials. The initiating factors are currently subject to research, though the likelihood of SCP-836 appearance increase rapidly for structures over ███ years old.
Initial stage of SCP-836 manifests as a deformation within the material that grows at an average rate of ███ grams per day. The mass increase seems to correspond to density drop in surrounding material. The deformation is hygroscopic, futhermore, [DATA EXPUNGED] which seems to initially fuel the growth. Dissection of SCP-836 instances show the inside alternating solid layers with a foam-like interstitial structure. At this stage , SCP-836 poses little danger except for cases where it compromises integrity of delicate structures.
If SCP-836 comes into contact with live wiring, and preferably a water source, it enters growth stage which initially manifests in what appears to be a metallic mesh growing on the surface of the deformation, and connecting to the wiring (However, examination has shown this to be in fact separate loops growing through its upper layers.) upon which SCP-836's rate of growth increases up to ███-fold. At this point, the deformations often superficially mimic surrounding enviroment, resulting in outside resemblance to structural features. Along with uniform density drop in surrounding material, SCP-836 at this stage can grow by repurposing entire sections of its surroundings. If lacking access to water sources, this stage of SCP-836 exhibits somewhat slower growth, and causes large reductions enviromental humidity.
Once SCP-836 specimens weighing at least ██ kg come into contact with a source of water, such as piping, they might enter proliferation stage though the precise conditions required are unknown. At this stage, outer layers of the deformation crumble, and enter the water stream. On first contact with most solids, growth similar to initial phase occurs. In this manner, SCP-836 is able to propagate rapidly, in one observed instance, covering roughly █ square kilometres in ██ days.

It has been shown that heating instances of SCP-836 to over 950 degrees Celsius for up to 4 minutes neutralises most non-metallic samples. For metallic samples applying warm nitric acid has been shown succesful.

Recovery Log: SCP-836 was first encountered by the Foundation on ██/██/199█ in ██████, Slovak Republic, following an investigation by the local police of an appartment house whose water and electricity usage had quadrupled during a period of two months, causing suspicion of cannabis indica farming.
The report given by the returning officer prompted investigation by a strike team lead by agent Dolezal.
Upon arrival at site, part of the structure's roof was found to have caved in, apparently due to a metallic growth cca. 1 metre across, found in the rubble. The walls contained an unlikely amount of windows and doors, most of which only had rudimentary mechanisms.
The body of one of the officers (apparent suicide via service weapon) was recovered from the bathroom of appartment of J████ N████, where he was sealed by a rogue wall growth blocking the door.
Due to extensive growths, basement of structure unexplored.
Procedure 28-Surtur successfully tested on structure as well as its surroundings on ██/██/199█. Area monitored until ██/██/20██.

Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]


rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-511

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-511 is to be confined in a 6m x 8m cell furnished as per document HCP-03 (human or humanoid not posing significant danger)
Subject is to be fed twice per day.
Under no circumstances can any contained objects with memetic properties be housed on the same site as SCP-511 due to cross-contamination potential.

SCP-511 is a 27 year old man of Russian nationality. , approximately 185cm tall, and weighing 65 kg, blond hair. Documents identify him as Jurij O███████. Subject is of average intelligence (measured IQ 108) and fluent in Russian, however, communication may prove difficult due to subject's short attention span caused by constant sensory overstimulation, and other mental peculiarities.

SCP-511 appears to be aware of objects within a spherical radius of approximately ███ metres. This includes the object's general shape, position , relative size, and indirectly, velocity and acceleration - subject is able to predict the trajectories of objects in chaotic systems (see Addendum 511-3) The minimum size of objects of which SCP-511 is aware is yet to be determined.

SCP-511 was recovered by the Foundation while being interned at a mental hospital in ██████, ████████ Oblast following reports of anomalous behaviour from staff, first instance being reported on ██/██/199█.

Addendum 511-1:

Addendum 511-2:

Addendum 511-3:


rating: 0+x
Adult SCP-712 outside host

Item #: SCP-712

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Outside of testing, SCP-712 eggs are to be placed in cryogenic storage. D-class personnel infected for the purpose of testing are to be kept individually, and clearly marked with the source sample number in order to map potential linking and aid decontamination.
Live specimens belonging to a clique are to be manipulated at a temperature above 30 degrees celsius to prevent migration.
Otherwise, standard Bio-hazard level 2 procedures are to be observed. In case of an outbreak, all staff as well as their relatives are to undergo at least three cycles of praziquantel- or niclosamide- based treatment, coupled with antibiotic treatment (usually clindamycin or cephalosporins) in case a secondary infection develops.

In case of a localised natural outbreak of SCP-712 the infected population is to be quarantined and a general treatment attempted as stated for on-site outbreaks - this includes culling non-human vectors.

Description: SCP-712 is a tapeworm of the Taenia genus, anatomically resembling Taenia solium, the main physical distinctions being an elongated scolex and a low number (3-5) of uterine branches visible within the uteri of the proglottids when stained. Proglottids also contain clusters of neurons of undetermined function not present within Taenia solium proglottids, and microscopic analysis of surface tissue shows [REDACTED] oscillating at frequencies unique for each host clique..

In a manner analogous to other species of Taenia, SCP-712 's primary transmission route is through ingestion of eggs or gravid proglottids, and it utilises humans as a final host, while humans, pigs, cattle , and rarely pigeons may act as intermediate hosts in which cysticerci mature.

However, a secondary route of transmission exists which isn't shared with any known parasite - instances of SCP-712 of common origin can freely relocate between infected or formerly infected hosts through an as of now unknown mechanism, estabilishing a clique of hosts Adult specimens of SCP-712 were observed to grow "between hosts", that is, the scolex and a part of the strobila being located in one host's digestive tract, with the rest of the strobila continuing into another host. The migration appears to have no clear trigger.
Cliques may be able to merge upon contact, however more testing is required to confirm this hypothesis.
In case of host death, specimens of SCP-712 migrate in mass into other hosts within the clique. This seems to be triggered by the decrease in body temperature, as this behaviour was sucessfully provoked in a laboratory setting by cooling the sample by app. 8 degrees Celsius with respect to other samples.
The host choice appears to be random, though this isn't confirmed.
The migratory property makes treatment difficult as unless all nodes of a clique are treated, reinfection usually results from migratory cysticerci. Furthermore this mechanism provides a pathway for migration of microbes, facilitating the transmission of diseases such as infectious diarrhea, cholera or typhoid.

SCP-712 was discovered by the Foundation following autopsy report (Addendum 712-1) filed by Dr. Hans S████████ , the healthcare officer at an international refugee camp in ██████, treating what was thought to be an extremely persistent tapeworm outbreak among the refugees. The report was censored and healthcare staff at the camp treated with Class A amnesiacs.
The Foundation has succeeded in identifying key afflicted areas, and exterminating the parasite using the ███████ war and following humanitarian operations as a cover for widespread antihelminthic treatment of local population and [REDACTED], dramatically decreasing the worldwide incidence of SCP-712 outbreak frequency.


Name: ██████████ ███ ███████
Age: 31 years Sex: Male
Height: 171cm Weight: 60 kg
Identified By: Admission documents (██/██/████)
Autopsy Authorised By: Dr. █████ ████████

I hereby certify that I, Dr. Hans S████████, have performed an autopsy on the body of ██████████ ███ ███████ at [REDACTED] on the █████ day of █████, 19██, and that the said autopsy revealed:

01 Cardiac failure caused by:
A) Bacteremia resulting in septic shock
B) Acute bacterial peritonitis
02 Stercoral perforation with leakage into peritoneum caused by:
A) Obstruction of Ileum caused by a fecalith.
03 Taeniasis despite previous treatment (see attached medical report), unusual number of specimens present.
Stomach and esophagus intact with normal GE junction and wiithout erosion, gastritis, varices or ulcers. Fluid buildup in stomach and duodenum, presumed due to obstruction. Duodenum and jejunum contain several adult Taenia specimens of unknown species.Manipulation while attempting to separate a specimen for further study has revealed it to be several metres long, despite apparent length of the strobila cca. 10 centimetres, terminating at intestinal wall. This property was exhibited by several other specimens. Ileum perforated, with intestinal fluid leakage into peritoneum. Ileum contains a fecalith.formed around a tangle of adult Taenia specimens of unknown species. Liver weighs 1232 grams, reddish brown, homogeneous.. Billiary tree unremarkable. Pancreas weighs 94 grams, with yellow lobulated cut surface, showing no signs of acute or chronic pancreatitis.

Note: Death of subject was found to have occured within four days of an armed raid on [REDACTED] , residual population identified as belonging to the same host clique, suggesting mass migration of SCP-712 into host as culprit.. As the probability of such outcome given the size of the clique, and the number of casualties estimates 0.53% assuming truly random migration patterns, more research into posthumous migration of SCP-712 is needed. - Dr. Eisenberg

SCP-160 Revision

rating: 0+x
SCP-160 shortly after procurement

Item #: SCP-160

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: While not in testing, SCP-160 is to be stored in a guarded vault in Site-15, with atmosphere checked for excessive presence of sulphurous compounds.

Requests for on-site testing of SCP-160 must be approved by a researcher of 2/160 clearance.
During testing, at least two (2) armed personnel wearing ear protection capable of sound neutralisation must be present at all times in case of a containment breach.

SCP-160 is not to be taken outside of Site-15 unless a request detailing proposed use is approved by Dr. Eisenberg, Approved requests by Mobile Task Force (MTF) personnel take precedence over requests concerning on-site testing. During off-site use, all personnel must be wearing ear protection capable of sound neutralisation, and electronic voice-to-text devices. Only phrases and text segments present and approved in the request form may be used in conjunction with SCP-160 outside of emergencies - these must be memorised by the designated SCP-160 holder in each group.At least one researcher of 1/160 clearance must accompany such group at all times.

Due to the potential deleterious effects of the artifact, researchers are advised not to handle SCP-160 unless in the presence of at least one other person.

Description: SCP-160 appears to be a Soviet one ruble coin weighing 5.1 grams and of 23mm diameter, outwardly resembling coins minted during the T1920's.The face declares the year of minting to be 1994, despite the dissolution of USSR in 1991.
SCP-160 appears to be a dull-tipped triangular plate of base width 20mm and height of 27mm, weighing 5.1 grams. Its surface shows signs of heavy corrosion and pitting.

Chemical tests reveal the composition to be 74.2% silver, with the rest being copper, nickel ,and ██████ as well as traces of ███████, and █████ - this is different from the standard composition of any coinage used in USSR or Russian Federation. Upon further inspection, a small inscription becomes apparent in the upper section of the heel, detailing the site of minting to be ██████ in ███████ Oblast, █████, as well as the text "Of One Mind, towards glorious Future". the oxides and sulphates of which are responsible for surface texture and coloration.

Initial tests (see Addendum 160-3) have revealed that while handled by a person , SCP-160 causes subjects in his vicinity to regard anything stated by the holder as a matter of fact, up to the point of involving sensory hallucinations. It has been found (see Addendum 160-4) direct skin contact is unecessary for this. The secondary effect is voice-transmitted and although the threshold is below the lower bound of normal hearing, it is possible to block using high-grade soundproofing and/or active noise-cancellation. Furthermore, it was determined that if the message is read or repeated after another subject, SCP-160 produces no discernible effect.

SCP-160 is capable of inducing such beliefs and accompanying hallucinations in its holder, the probability of such increasing drastically when there are no other potential targets. Isolated holders exhibit an increased tendency to self-talk, triggering the effect, however, as of now it is unknown whether this is fully a consequence of isolation or whether it is being exacerbated by SCP-160, suggesting further testing.

A played recording of word spoken while holding SCP-160 produces no discernible effect, however, a live feed is equivalent to direct exposure..

SCP-160 came into attention of the Foundation after a string of gas station and newsagents' thefts in ████████ region, ██████ Republic. Security camera footage (Addendum 160-1) coupled with witness reports pointed to Igor P███ , an unemployed man living in the communal housing in ████, █████, henceforth referred to as subject.

During the subsequent police raid, subject persuaded one of the police officers to open fire at his colleagues, wounding two, but was subsequently captured and restrained, SCP-160 being among items collected upon personal examination.
SCP-160 was secured by agent N████ , after its accidental use resulted in the injury of eight (8) members of the police station staff.
Interviewing subject proved difficult both because of his low intellect (IQ 80) coupled with the deleterious effects of SCP-160, and has yielded little information. (addendum 160-2) The police station crew were distributed class A amnesiacs, while subject was reclassified as D-8351.

Addendum 160-1:

Addendum 160-2: Log of interview with Igor P███. [DATA EXPUNGED]
Addendum 160-3:

Addendum 160-4:
Due to apparent mental contamination of appointed research staff, determined to come from initial handling of SCP-160, 2/160 clearance has been granted to researcher ████ by order of O5-11. Personnel previously in contact with SCP-160 are to undergo psychiatric investigation on ██/██/████, until then , their SCP-160 clearance is revoked.


rating: 0+x
SCP-711 cleaned of secretions.(front view)

Item #: SCP-711

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: When not in testing, SCP-711 is to be kept within a liquid-proof container within a safe, the keycode known only to assigned personnel of level 2 and above. Once per week, the secretions of SCP-711 are to be drained and incinerated to prevent over-filling. At no time is any personnel to interact with SCP-711 or its secretions without donning a Class B Hazardous Materials suit as a minimum level of protection. Due to the mental hazard posed by SCP-711-2, any containment breach will result in termination of affected personnel.

Description: SCP-711 is a statuette of neolithic origin, depicting a headless person of indeterminate gender, outwardly resembling fertility cult deities of that era.
Its surface is somewhat worn, and several places appear to have sustained damage. Chemical testing has revealed the composing material to be sandstone.

The pedestal of SCP-711, as well as the chest region contain several apertures, and ultrasound scanning reveals internal cavities connecting to these.

The apertures within SCP-711 secrete a translucent oily substance of pale white colour (referred to as SCP-711-1) which readily evaporates and decomposes at room temperature and pressure. Mass spectrometry has revealed it to be composed mostly of organic elements; current research focuses on stabilising SCP-711-1 in order to facilitate further testing.

If coming into contact with a human subject (from now on referred to as SCP-711-2) , SCP-711-1 is readily absorbed through skin or mucous membranes.

Within the following three to five weeks, SCP-711-2 will undergo the following physical changes:

  • gradual decrease in basal metabolic rate
  • increased appetite
  • increased rate of tissue regeneration
  • propensity for adipocyte hyperplasia instead of hypertrophy, even in adult subjects.

The most notable change, however, is that SCP-711-2 gradually becomes a source of psychological contamination.

The presence of SCP-711-2 seems to alleviate feelings of hunger among subjects in its vicinity.

Furthermore, if presented with food, subjects exposed to SCP-711-2 feel compelled to feed most of it (80-95%) to SCP-711-2, although their own physiologic needs seem to take precedence. (However, it has been observed that if most present subjects are dystrofic, they proceed to remove and consume parts of SCP-711-2 to obtain nutrition) Subjects also feel a compulsion to defend any SCP-711-2 from perceived dangers, up to the point of disregarding their own safety. Stated effects don't seem tied to any single SCP-711-2, and appear unrelated to conscious wishes of SCP-711-2 in question.

SCP-711-2 retain mostly intact mental faculties, even at the point of mobility loss, although lack of mental stimulation causes a marked decrease in IQ. As the symptoms progress, approximately 35% of SCP-711-2 exhibit suicidal tendencies. Despite excessive weight gain, SCP-711-2 rarely suffer from cardiovascular problems beyond strain due to enlarged circulatory system - further research is warranted due to potential medical applications.

SCP-711 was discovered near ████, a city in northern Romania after a member of local militia discovered a deceased SCP-711-2 within the city perimeter (photodocumentation attached). Agent Ivančič gained interest in the case after the autopsy, performed at a local hospital, revealed a number of unusual traits (a body mass of 280% the national average, delayed decomposition progress with respect to estimated time of death and enviromental conditions, partial muscular atrophy, a scar pattern consistent with repeated tissue removal) as well as several features identifying him as ████ ███████ a member of a team of archaeologists, declared missing 18 months ago. The cause of death was found to be circulatory failure following extreme exertion and dehydration.

The corpse was seized by the Foundation, and civilian personnel involved were distributed class A amnesiacs.

A canine unit was able to track the path of the recovered SCP-711-2 into a small settlement ██ kilometers ████wards.

SCP-711 was found at an improvised altar in the former village council house, along with 8 live instances of SCP-711-2 of varying size, all showing lacerations and scarring similar to the deceased exemplar, along with 26 subjects of varying age and gender. Upon entering the main hall, subjects present assaulted the recovery team, and had to be terminated. Casualties involved Agent Barčič who fell under the influence of SCP-711-2 present, and Agent Kuruc who came into contact with SCP-711-1.

Several of the present subjects were identified as members of the missing team, and despite the difficulties posed by the amounts of refuse and human remains present, a number of personal items, along with the diary of professor Petrescu, the expedition leader, were recovered from the settlement.

Addendum 651-1: Log of Recovery Team Kappa [DATA EXPUNGED]
Addendum 651-2: Diary of professor Petrescu [DATA EXPUNGED]


rating: 0+x
SCP-692 in its original packaging, as procured by the Foundation

Item #: SCP-692

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Each package of SCP-692 is to be stored in a sealed plastic container. Any cloth, synthetic textile or other coming into contact with SCP-692 is to be incinerated within one (1) hour of incident, unless it is being used for testing, in which case it is to be incinerated after testing.

Security personnel present at testing are to be equipped with standard-issue gas-based flamethrowers.

Description: SCP-692 comprises 57 packages of "Weisser Riese" washing powder secured by the Foundation from a general store in ██████, Czech Republic, and several households nearby. All of the packages belong to the ████/███ production series.

Chemical testing reveals no statistically significant deviations from composition with respect to "Weisser Riese" washing powder of unaffected production series.

When an article of clothing exposed to SCP-692 comes into uninterrupted contact at least fifteen (15) minutes long with a living, multicellular organism, within following four (4) to fifteen (15) hours, the article, (referred to as SCP-692-1) will spontaneously animate.

An instance of SCP-692-1, observed at the house of H███ P█████. The nucleating article were the trousers.
SCP-692-1 at this stage show the contours of the imprinting organism, although bisection of several instances of SCP-692-1 has revealed that the inside of such contour contains air at ambient pressure.

Through an as-of-now unknown mechanism, SCP-692-1 is capable of locomotion, manipulation of objects, and at times, accretion of more articles of clothing into its mass. Furthermore, SCP-692-1 with a single "nucleating" item will behave as a single entity, even if there is no physical connection between the items (see accompanying photo-documentation.

The mode of behaviour of SCP-692-1 depends on the length of exposure to the imprinting organism, longer times resulting in a higher quality of simulation - approximately three hours of uninterrupted contact are sufficient for the imprinting of most mammals.

SCP-692-1 are unaffected by most mechanical damage, and as such, incineration is the recommended method of disposal.

Addendum 692-1:


rating: 0+x
SCP-601 as observed under 750x magnification.

Item #: SCP-601

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Samples of SCP-601 are to be stored in cryogenic containment at at least three (3) G2 sites. Proposals for testing need the approval of at least two level 4 personnel.
Except for designated hosts, Class B Hazardous Materials suits are to be worn at all time while in contact with SCP-601, hosts or suspected hosts, and biosafety level 3 procedures are to be observed at all times.
Staff is reminded that acidic/caustic decontaminating agents are not to be used due to SCP-601's high resistance. Instead, substances such as [REDACTED] have been shown effective as well as multi-stage shower-cleaning or heat treatment.
All personnel in contact with SCP-601, hosts, or suspected hosts are to undergo weekly abdominal X-Ray scans for a period of ██ weeks since last exposure.
In case of a containment breach , all personnel are to be quarantined and mandatory X-Ray scanning is to be carried out to reveal possible infection. All personnel either showing no symptoms or determined to be within the incubation stage are to be administered ██████████- or ██████- based chemotherapy; personnel within higher stages of infection is to be terminated, their bodies treated as a class 3 biohazard.
Any outbreaks of SCP-601 among the general population are to be treated as a Keter-class hazard due to the ease with which some instances of SCP-601-2 can pass as members of general population, and a relatively long incubation stage coupled with rapid spreading constitutes a pandemic risk.
As such, large-scale treatment similar to containment breach procedure is to be attempted; in case of insufficient resources or isolated clusters where terminal stage SCP-601-2 have appeared, [DATA EXPUNGED].
Contaminated water bodies are to be treated as per Procedure 133-Salmacis.

Description: SCP-601 is a parasitic organism first encountered by the Foundation in the village of ███████, Romania. An adult specimen measures appr. 0.05-0.08mm and outwardly resembles a nematode. Both the adult form, and eggs are capable of surviving in both acidic and caustic enviroments - laboratory tests have shown a survival rate of above 80% for enviromental pH range between ██ and ██; this seems to be achieved through a combination of [REDACTED] and an internal pH buffering mechanism. [REDACTED] has been shown to be an effective form of prevention, though eggs are significantly more resistant.
Analysis of SCP-601's genome has [DATA EXPUNGED], prompting a request for classification upgrade. (see Addendum 601-1).
It is transmitted either through prolonged direct contact, or more often, by ingestion of food or beverages contaminated with eggs or rarely adult specimens of SCP-601.

A successful infection by SCP-601 has several stages, as follows.

Incubation Stage: - Incubation Period: Between ██ and ██ weeks.
In general SCP-601 either enters the host orally, or through skin/other tissues. In the first case it penetrates the wall of the small intestine, while in the second case it travels through tissues. When SCP-601 reaches the spine, it initiates the formation of SCP-601-1 - a cluster composed of [DATA EXPUNGED] neurons, covered in a protective membrane attached to the spine at varying locations inside the abdominal cavity.
Symptoms generally initiate after █ weeks, and include frequent obdormition of extremities, Restless Leg Syndrome, dizziness, weight gain, shortness of breath and frequent back pain. In rare cases, SCP-601 at this stage might mimic Parkinson's disease, cause paralysis, or, due to an unfavourable location of SCP-601-1, ascites may occur.

SCP-601-1 excised from D-813 after ██ days since Active Stage I onset. A section through the right side clearly shows cortex as well as [DATA EXPUNGED]

Active Stage I: During active stage, SCP-601-1 takes control of the host body. MRI on hosts in this stage, designated SCP-601-2 have demonstrated that the brain remains active, and responds to external stimuli - in early stages (within █ days since onset) of the disease, the excision of SCP-601-1 coupled with radiation treatment and ██████████- or ██████- based chemotherapy has led to a complete recovery in ██% cases, out of these, however further ██% were rendered insane and had to be terminated.
At the same time, SCP-601-1 begins producing a large amount of SCP-601 eggs, usually in clusters within SCP-601-2's abdominal cavity.

Active Stage II: The maturation of egg clusters, generally occuring within ██ days since Active Stage I onset triggers Active Stage II..
During this stage SCP-601-2 will seek contact with other humans in order to spread the infection. During this stage, SCP-601 forms numerous cysts on soft tissues. The cysts contain adult SCP-601 and frequently rupture, releasing the parasite if in contact with another person. The feces of SCP-601-2 at this stage contain large quantities of adult SCP-601, as well as varying quantities of blood due to intestinal damage.
At this stage, most SCP-601-2 are only capable of mimicking rudimentary human behaviour, such as locomotion, feeding, mating and attempts at speech, however, ██% cases have shown considerable intelligence and the ability to blend in the civilian population, and generally show intent on propagating SCP-601 by any available means. In █.█% cases, SCP-601-2 [DATA EXPUNGED].
Maturing of further clusters and the deterioration of SCP-601-2 leads to the onset of terminal stage.

Terminal stage: The onset of the terminal stage is dependant on the physical and mental condition of SCP-601-2, and as such, can take anywhere from ██ weeks to █ █████. This stage's visible symptoms include visible malnutrition, swelling of abdomen, bleeding from bodily orifices and increasing loss of body control, corresponding to last stage of SCP-601-1's lifecycle.
If unrestrained, SCP-601-2 will seek out bodies of water, and imbibing large quantities thereof, which triggers rapid hatching of the remaining clusters , as well as a number of changes in the host organism. Within ██ hours, SCP-601-2 will immerse itself in water, and seemingly cease life function. Within further █ hours, [DATA EXPUNGED], contaminating it.

Addendum 601-1: Re: Reclassification to Euclid - Denied by O5 council. Reason:Further outbreaks haven't been observed since ██/██/███, suggesting complete containment of SCP-601 and referred findings, even if confirmed aren't by themselves sufficient to warrant reclassification.


rating: 0+x
SCP-160 shortly after procurement

Item #: SCP-160

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: While not in testing, SCP-160 is to be stored in a guarded vault in Site-15, with atmosphere checked for excessive presence of sulphurous compounds.

During testing, at least two (2) armed personnel wearing ear protection capable of sound neutralisation must be present at all times in case of a containment breach.

Due to potential deleterious effects of the artifact, researchers are advised not to handle SCP-160 unless in the presence of at least one other person.

SCP-160 is not to be taken outside of Site-15 unless approved by Dr. Eisenberg, at least two (2) armed personnel wearing ear protection capable of sound neutralisation must be present at all times.
SCP-160 is not to be taken outside of Site-15 unless approved by at least four (4) Class 5 personnel as a part of Procedure 312-Jerevan in case of a mass containment breach. (see Addendum 160-4)

Description: SCP-160 appears to be a Soviet one ruble coin weighing 5.1 grams and of 23mm diameter, outwardly resembling coins minted during the 1920's.The face declares the year of minting to be 1994, despite the dissolution of USSR in 1991.

Chemical tests reveal the composition to be 74.2% silver, with the rest being copper, nickel ,and ██████ as well as traces of ███████, and █████ - this is different from the standard composition of any coinage used in USSR or Russian Federation. Upon further inspection, a small inscription becomes apparent in the upper section of the heel, detailing the site of minting to be ██████ in ███████ Oblast, █████, as well as the text "Of One Mind, towards glorious Future".

Initial tests (see Addendum 160-3) have revealed that while handled by a person , SCP-160 causes subjects in his vicinity to regard anything stated by the holder as a matter of fact, up to the point of involving sensory hallucinations. The effect is sound-transmitted, and it is possible to block it via the use of high-grade soundproofing. Furthermore, it was determined that if the message is read or repeated after another subject, SCP-160 produces no discernible effect.

The strength of the effect is somewhat adversely affected by increasing the amount of influenced subjects - in general, the sensory hallucinations don't manifest for groups above ██ members.

SCP-160 is capable of inducing such beliefs and accompanying hallucinations in its holder, the probability of such increasing drastically when there are no other potential targets. Isolated holders exhibit an increased tendency to self-talk, triggering the effect, however, as of now it is unknown whether this is fully a consequence of isolation or whether it is being exacerbated by SCP-160, suggesting further testing.

A played recording of word spoken while holding SCP-160 produces no discernible effect, however, a live feed induces a partial effect, lacking the sensory hallucination component.

SCP-160 was acquired by the Foundation after being alerted to a string of thefts at gas pumps and newsagent's in ████████ Region, ██████ Republic. Witness reports pointed to Igor P███ , an unemployed man living in the communal housing in ████, █████, henceforth referred to as subject.

During the subsequent police raid, subject persuaded one of the police officers to open fire at his colleagues, wounding two, but was subsequently captured and restrained, SCP-160 being found upon personal examination (addendum 160-1).
Its powers became apparent when the handling police officer proclaimed "Wish we had a bloody A/C - this place is hot like hell", resulting in [DATA EXPUNGED].

Interviewing subject proved difficult both because of his low intellect (IQ 80) coupled with the deleterious effects of SCP-160 (see addendum 160-2 for interview log). The police station crew were distributed class A amnesiacs, while subject was reclassified as D-8351.

Addendum 160-1:

Addendum 160-2: Log of interview of Igor P███.

Addendum 160-3:

Addendum 160-4: Revision of containment protocol
Tests involving self-contradicting statements consistently resulted in [DATA EXPUNGED] regardless of transmission method, containment protocol revised to diminish the probability of a live-feed broadcast of such.

VAE's litterbox

Shit articles to laugh at
Shit articles to laugh at 2: Electric Boogaloo

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