"Funniest Joke Ever' SCP Idea

Item: SCP-1XXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedure: The only written recording of SCP-1XXX is to be stored on Dr. █████'s computer, in three separate, highly encrypted files. Files require O4 level access. Personnel involved in experiments are not allowed to memorize more than one section. Any testing with SCP-1XXX will be done by temporarily compiling sections into the complete SCP-1XXX, not to be directly viewed by any research staff.

Description: SCP-1XXX is, in essence, a joke, consisting of three independent sentences. It is impossible for any one person to know the entire joke, even if heard over a period of time. Upon hearing SCP-1XXX, subject is always sent into uncontrollable fits of laughter. Subject will continue to laugh despite any attempts to cease laughing. Laughter will continue indefinitely until the strain put upon the subject's heart will induce cardiac arrest. If subject is not killed by the first instance of cardiac arrest, they will continue laughing upon their revival, inducing the same effect until the subject is dead. SCP-1XXX has, in rare cases (estimated rate of one (1) out of every three hundred (300)), an effect of mutating a subject into a "carrier", designated as SCP-1XXX-1. It is impossible to determine a case of SCP-1XXX-1 until the normal time of over-exertion of thirty-six (36) hours has passed. SCP-1XXX-1 exhibits all the symptoms of SCP-1XXX,


with the sole exception of its mortality due to over-stress of the heart and lungs. SCP-1XXX-1 was discovered in ██████ █████ Mental Institution in solitary confinement. SCP-1XXX-1 is able to withstand the stress put upon its heart due to an abnormal growth rate of approximately seven (7) times the normal growth rate. Surrounding tissue also is forced to grow to accommodate abnormal proportions of the heart. This is shown, in the case of SCP-1XXX-1, to cause acute physical pain due to increased weight upon the upper body, and stress to the rib cage. SCP-1XXX-1 was found to have five (5) fractured ribs which had healed into grotesque angles, suggesting that the comfort of the "host" is not of concern. SCP-1XXX-1 also have shown advanced levels of clinical insanity due to the unending laughter and constant intense physical pain. Foundation Teams attempted to use Class A Amnesiacs to wipe the memory of SCP-1XXX from SCP-1XXX-1 in hopes of returning subject to a more manageable state. Amnesiacs were shown to be ineffective, time of exposure being too vast. SCP-1XXX-1 was also shown to have a small brain lesion, it is possible that SCP-1XXX has been literally hardwired into SCP-1XXX-1's memory.

It is not clear when the first instance of SCP-1XXX occured. Uncontained events consist of one person affected by SCP-1XXX-1 entering the most populated area the subject can find, and telling the joke to every living person until all persons are "infected". One of the more anomalous properties of SCP-1XXX is its ability to be trans-lingual, as is seen in Experiment SCP-1XXX-F.

Extensive testing was done to discern transmission method and the nature of SCP-1XXX, as well as research into a cure.
Experiment Log SCP-1XXX-Funny Joke

Note: SCP-1XXX is not a virus. Research staff, upon first obtaining a victim of SCP-1XXX, thought it to be some manner of virus. Experimentation disproved viral theory.

Excerpt From Experiment Logs:

Experiment SCP-1XXX-A:

One (1) D-Class personnel (D-3765) is placed into a room, with foldable TV monitor installed in ceiling. D-Class is fluent in English. Screen is deployed,
SCP-1XXX displayed on screen. D-3765 reads and begins laughing uncontrollably. Subject continues laughing for thirty-six (36) hours until cardiac arrest
induced by over-stress of heart. Subject is pronounced dead.

Conclusion: SCP-1XXX can travel by means of reading it. This disproves viral theory, room and subject were sterilized prior to initiation of test.

Addendum 1XXX-1: During a recent sweep by Foundation archaeological teams in [DATA EXPUNGED], cave dwellings were revealed to contain symbols of an unknown origin. Upon viewing the symbols, Agent ██ began exhibiting symptoms of SCP-1XXX. Several Foundation archaeologists were exposed before the incident was reported and the connection was made. The site has been blocked off and designated SCP-1XXX-Alpha.

Foundation paleontologists searched the area, uncovering the skeletal remains of ███ Homo-Sapiens. All of the skeletons were lying in a position that suggested they died clutching at their chests. Also discovered were fifty-three (53) skeletons of Homo-Sapien-Sapiens. All were found in lying in manners similar to the Homo-Sapien skeletons. Homo-Sapien-Sapien skeletons were also found in close proximity to: twenty (20) baskets, forty-seven (47) bags of varying size, two (2) backpacks, five (5) bows, seven (7) rock-edged spears, fourteen (14) swords, fifteen (15) muskets of Spanish make, and two (2) scoped Model 700 Alaskan Ti rifles. Also noted was that fifteen (15) skeletons were encased in badly rusted and corroded armor that was consistent with armor issued to Spanish conquistadors during the 1500s.

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