Gender wars
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Item #: SCP-2547-J

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Due to how widely spread this species has become, containment is impossible. Indeed, as the majority of foundation personnel are examples of SCP-2547-J, any attempt at containment would impair the foundations ability to contain other SCPs. However, communications between the larger tribes should be monitored at all times; despite occasional flashes of brilliance from individuals either isolated or working in small teams, the majority of the interactions between large groups have been described by senior researcher ██████ as 'mind-blowingly stupid'.

Description: SCP-2547-J is also known as the species ████ ███████, a bipedal hominid with an unusually large brain proportional to its size.1. A great degree of variety in appearance has been noted between individual specimens, but the greatest difference is the sexual dimorphism between the two subspecies required for sexual reproduction (SCP-2547-J-1 and SCP-2547-J-2), which differ greatly, both in appearance and general behavior.

SCP-2547-J-1 is the 'male' subspecies, with coarser skin, more prominent musculature and external reproductive organs. They practically worship physical prowess, with most social interactions based around proving their toughness or strength. Curiously, they also have a habit of exaggerating injury or illness, to the point where they can pretend that a mild disease is actually potentially deadly. The only hypothesis put forward for this seemingly contradictory behavior came from Doctor █████. Her proposal that "they're all just big softies, really" is being considered. Finally, and most puzzlingly, is SCP-2547-J-1's obsession with the size of their genitals. This is thought to be due to a second brain located within the penis, which controls actions to some unknown extent; increased size leads to better information-processing capabilities, enabling those with larger 'brains' to out-think those with smaller 'brains' (research is on-going). These contradictory, illogical, yet nearly universal traits have led to the conclusion by almost all research staff that despite any appearances to the contrary, SCP-2547-J-1 is not an intelligent life form.

SCP-2547-J-2 is the 'female' subspecies, with smoother skin, mammary glands and internal reproductive organs. It has been noted that SCP-2547-J-2 is a species whose primary behavioural characteristics are contradictory. Individuals are usually able to speak at least one language with varying degrees of eloquence, but when interacting with peers, they lapse into a garbled, rapid speech known as gibberish, only comprehensible to other members of SCP-2547-J-2. While most are perfectly capable of rational thought, in social interactions they do not seem to use this capacity, instead relying upon a bizarre and often incomprehensible set of rules which they assume everyone else is aware of. When these rules are broken (almost invariably by members of SCP-2547-J-1), they display a heightened emotional state, and usually shun the individual who broke these rules. Similarly, despite scoring well on most hand-eye coordination tests, the average member of SCP-2547-J-2 is incapable of driving a motor vehicle further than five (5) kilometers without being in at least one (1) car accident, an phenomenon that is known as the 'women driver effect'. All this inexplicable contradictory behavior proves the sole purpose of the existence of SCP-2547-J-2 is to make life for members of SCP-2547-J-1 a living hell.

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