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SCP-XXX - Battery included for scale

Item #: SCP-XXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be placed in a 5 X 5 X 5 sq. meter standard containment module. Three armed guard personnel will be stationed in front of the main entry hatch, with shifts changing once every █ hours. Guards are authorized to use lethal force. Level 4 clearance or higher is required to interact with SCP-XXX. Under no circumstances is any object to be placed into SCP-XXX without Level 4 clearance or higher.

Description: SCP-XXX takes the appearance of an antique tin cash register from circa 1957. The outer shell is worn and is made of 98% tin and 2% various scrap metals. Object displays no obvious or supernormal physical properties. The levers' numerical values are corroded, only the "$25" indicator is visible on the 9th lever. The center lever has no indicator and appears to be able to lock and unlock the register drawer. Closer examination of the back panel reveals a signature by Adam Smith. On-site forensic document examiners confirmed the signature is genuine. A quote from Smith’s “The Wealth of Nations” is stamped into the bottom plate. It reads as follows, “He intends only his own gain, and he is in this, as in many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of his intention.”

SCP-XXX was recovered from a yard sale by Agent ███ during a pre-approved holiday in [DATA EXPUNGED]. The object exhibits an unusual memetic property concerning the perception of worth, which Agent ████ discovered by inserting a 1 (one) dollar bill into the object, causing a global economic [REDACTED]. Any object of appropriate size introduced into the object can be imbued with worth, effectively turning anything into currency. The 10 (ten) levers on the machine have different effects on whatever items are placed inside the object.


Test 1: Effect of first lever.
Subject: D-203-F
Item Tested: 1 (one) 40 gram weight.

Results: Weight inserted at 1200 hours. First lever depressed and 1201 hours. SCP-XXX emitted a bell-like sound; weight retrieved. Subject D-203-F released into testing chamber. Subject immediately expressed discomfort and unease, requesting to be removed. Weight covered with cloth via remote control bomb disposal unit, subject ceased requests of removal. Further experimentation required. Subject restrained, bomb disposal unit reintroduces weight. Subject again expresses dislike and unease. Bomb disposal unit moves weight closer to subject. Subject attempts to escape restraints, fails. Subject begins to weep. Weight again moved closer. Subject dislocates shoulder in attempt to escape restraints. Subject begins foaming at the mouth, eyes dilated, muscles fully engaged in "fight or flight" response. Weight placed on subject's lap. Subject expresses intense fear and loathing. Subject ceases movement, vital signs negative. Post-mortem inspection concludes COD was heart failure brought on by intense stress. Further experimentation pending.

Test 2: Effect of second lever

Subject: D-203-G

Item Tested: 1(one) 40 gram weight, the same used in Test 1.

Test Results: Weight placed back into SCP-XXX at 1400 hours. Second lever depressed. Subject D-203-G released into area. Bomb disposal unit retrieves weight and places it on the floor. Subject runs to the object and attacks the disposal unit. Subject retrieves weight, refuses to comply with orders to return weight to disposal unit. Subject sedated and restrained. Weight placed 10 feet in front of subject. Similar to Test 1, subject expresses intense discomfort at being restrained and dislocates shoulder to escape restraints. Weight moved further away from subject. Subject struggles against restraints to the point of asphyxiation. Subject self-terminated.

Test 3: Effects of third lever

Subject: D-189-R

Item Tested: 1 (one) 40 gram weight. Same used in Tests 2 and 1.
Test Results: Weight placed into SCP-XXX at 1700 hours. Third lever depressed. Subject D-189-R released into area. Disposal unit opens SCP-XXX, action figure gone. Replaced by small (40 gram) pile of dirt. Soil composition normal. Subject expresses no aversion or attraction to dirt. Subject removed.

Test 4: Effects of fourth lever

Subject: D-189-R

Item Tested: 1 (one) 20 gram weight.
Test Results: Weight replaced by small (20 grams) pile of high grade, colorless (PCH=D) uncut diamonds. Subject D-189-R expresses passing interest, but no extreme aversion or attraction. Subject removed.

Test 5: Effects of fifth lever.

Subject: D-189-R

Item Tested: 1 (one) 20 gram weight.

Test Results: Weight disappeared. No adverse memetic effects observed. Further study requried.

Test 5-A: Continued observation of fifth lever.

Subject: None.

Item Tested: Remote Camera.

Test Results: Camera recorded approximately 15 seconds of video before feed cut out. No images of
interest transmitted.

Test 6: Effects of sixth lever.

Subject: D-189-R

Item Tested: 1 (one) 20 gram weight.
Test Results: No immediate memetic effect observed. Weight undisturbed. After a period of 24 hours, Foundation stock analysts reported an unusual downward trend in scientific equipment stock, including measuring weights. Stabilized after a period of three (3) weeks.

Test 7: Effects of seventh lever.

Subject: D-189-R

Item Tested: 1 (one) can of Vienna sausages.

Test Results: Vienna sausages inserted per request of Dr. ████. Similar to Test 6. After a period of 24 hours, Foundation stock analysts reported a sudden increase in stock bought in meat and meat processing companies. Stabilized after a period of three (3) weeks.

Test 8: Effects of eighth lever

Subject: D-189-R

Item Tested: 1 (one) #2 lead pencil.

Test Results: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Request for Haz-Mat escort under review.

Test 9: Effects of ninth lever.

Subject: D-124-E

Item Tested: 1 (one) 20 gram weight.

Test Results: Inconclusive. Lever 9 could not be depressed. Industrial hammer drill brought into area. Hammer drill rendered inoperable after nine (9) hours of attempts. Request for new hammer drill pending.

Test 10: Effects of tenth lever.

Subject: D-124-E

Item Tested: 1 (one) 20 gram weight.

Test Results: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Testing suite 124 closed until further notice. Mandatory psychiatric evaluation for all personnel involved.

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