How To Book
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be stored in a display case in a locked testing room along with a computer (for transcription) under constant surveillance at Research Sector-██. After it's daily transformation, Dr. ██████ is to remove the object from it's display case and transcribe the entirety of SCP-XXXX's contents. When transcription is finished, SCP-XXXX is to be closed properly and returned to it's display case. Under no circumstances is anyone to handle SCP-XXXX in any way before Dr. ██████ has completed his duties regarding the object. Any changes regarding SCP-XXXX not at it's regularly scheduled time are to be immediately reported to Dr. ██████.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a black paperback book with a varying amount of pages. The title, on both the cover and binding in white lettering changes every 24 hours at precisely 3:00 A.M. GMT, but invariably begin with the words, "How to". Daily, both the book's title, contents, and amount of pages within change completely, unless the book remains open during it's scheduled transformation, which will postpone the event to the next time at which it is 3:00 A.M. GMT and the object is fully closed.

If a person is the first to touch the book after a transformation event, they will be the only one to be able to read the writing within until the book changes again. To all other observers, the book will appear to be blank, with the exception of the title on the cover and binding.

While the contents of the book vary wildly from day to day, the overall theme remains consistent. The object will always contain instructions on how to perform various actions, ranging from very useful to utterly pointless. The various descriptions printed inside the book are incredibly detailed, to the point of describing which specific muscles to contract when performing a physical movement. The instructions within generally describe the optimal technique to use regarding the action, even leading to the discovery of several previously unknown methods of [REDACTED]. Despite being extremely accurate in it's descriptions, the book can be very confusing to the average reader, due to it's overly descriptive nature.

A partial list of titles which have appeared since retrieval include:

• How to Build a Campfire
• How to Eat Spaghetti and Meatballs
• How to Hang a Painting
• How to Sculpt a Bird in Flight out of Granite
• How to Whistle
• How to Strangle a Woman
• How to Construct a [REDACTED]
• How to Open a Desk Drawer
• How to Cross-Country Ski
• How to [REDACTED]
• How To Clean a Necktie
• How to Commit Suicide by Hanging

Addendum XXXXa: Several mentions have been made to a 'How to Ascend' throughout multiple variations of SCP-XXXX. Of particular interest was the mention at the end of 'How to Assimilate Information', referring readers to 'How to Ascend' for more information. Whether 'How to Ascend' is a variation of SCP-XXXX or an entirely different book is being investigated.

Addendum XXXXb: A note written by hand on the final page of SCP-XXXX was found while it contained 'How to Build a Wooden Rocking Chair'. The note read "It will be next. Do you value this world?", and was visible to all who viewed the page.

Addendum XXXXc: The title of SCP-XXXX following 'How to Build a Wooden Rocking Chair' was 'How to Ascend'. When Dr. ██████ touched the object to begin transcribing it's contents, he immediately withdrew his hand and stood up rigidly. After several seconds of standing completely still and not responding to inquiries, [REDACTED] causing permanent blindness in 2 researchers observing the event. Further attempts to read SCP-XXXX showed it's pages to be blank. Investigation on Dr. ██████'s current whereabouts are ongoing. The position of Head of Research of SCP-XXXX has been transferred to Dr. ████████ for the time being. Reclassification as Euclid requested.

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