Jack Of Spades

The Unusual Diet Plan

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Current manifestation of SCP-XXXX. This manifestation is currently not in use. WARNING: The effects of SCP-XXXX extend through photographs, so most relative items have been expunged.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: [SCP-XXXX is to be contained in a plain, corrugated cardboard box, sized to contain fifty standard 8½ by 11 sheets of paper. This box is to be placed in a standard Safe-class containment room, as no specific size or materials are required for containment. Unauthorized personnel who are not using it for experimental purposes are not to follow any instructions printed or written on SCP-XXXX.

Description: [SCP-XXXX is a doctor-recommended diet plan, typed on standard print paper. The lower right corner has been torn off (for testing purposes), and the writer's handwritten notes are scattered about the document. The paper has been found to be normal material, and tests report that it was manufactured at [DATA REDACTED], Minnesota by the common procedures followed therein. The note is signed by one Dr. Jonathan ██████████. Research had begun into the criminal records of Dr. ██████████, however, as soon as we began thoroughly investigating his background, the name of the doctor changed to Dr. Catherine ██████.]

Every time that everyone currently undergoing the diet perishes, SCP-XXXX will change its appearance, featuring a new diet plan. Anyone who completes the second property of SCP-XXXX will return to normal, with knowledge of what they have done but without understanding why they have done it. This will also cause SCP-XXXX to change, taking on a new manifestation.

The primary anomalous property of SCP-XXXX is in its ability to change the diet plan written upon it to require abnormal diet restrictions to achieve desired effects. The types of sustenance that the diet plan asks for are always substances that are not normally eaten, and can range from providing little to no sustenance to being extremely toxic to the human body. There is no compulsion to comply with SCP-XXXX's diet restrictions, and a subject who reads the document reacts to the doctor's requests as they would normally.

The secondary anomalous property is a false perception in the mind of a hat monster who follows the recommended diet plan for approximately half the required length of time, which is determined by the current manifestation of SCP-XXXX. After following the directions for half the required time, the person (hereafter referred to as the subject) appears to undergo an epiphany as to the effectiveness of the diet. At some point during the day, the subject will “suddenly realize” that the diet has been working, albeit slowly, up until this point, and that by continuing on this diet, the results will quickly become apparent.

This has been determined as a false psychic belief imposed on the subject by SCP-XXXX. Although the subject feels that they are improving as per the standards of the diet, their outward appearance reflects the fact that what they are eating is causing little to no positive change in their body. If the subject has been eating weekly doses of copper wiring as part of an increased energy diet, they will show symptoms common to copper poisoning, but feel as if their daily caloric intake is truly improving, and will act as if operating under increased energy levels.

In addition, the subject will attempt to ignore any adverse effects of the diet they are following. Should it be pointed out that they are experiencing vomiting and occasional moments of crippling gastrointestinal pain, they will attempt to blame it on other factors, such as possible illness or injury, so long as the reason behind the symptoms does not correlate with SCP-XXXX.

SCP-XXXX came into Foundation possession after multiple media reports surfaced in the general Minnesota area, claiming “New Wonder Diet Proved Consistently False; Q-Tips Provide No Nutritional Benefit”.

Note: For the following tests, several Level-1 personnel posed as Dr. Catherine ██████, Dr. Elmer █████████, and Dr. Gregory ████ in order to maintain the illusion of authenticity. Each test subject was recruited from the general populace as candidates for a new diet, said to produce the same effects that SCP-XXXX claims that it does. All subjects were provided legitimate-sounding false reasoning as to how the diet works.

Test Log XXXX-1: The test subject was a Caucasian male, aged 33. Was somewhat overweight, and had been known to have expressed displeasure about his physical state. Current manifestation of SCP-XXXX asked for no changes in current diet, save for a daily consumption of 4 sheets of printing paper for the next seven weeks, which would result in healthy, rapid weight loss. Subject voiced mild scepticism at the idea, but after being told that high levels of thyroxine were added to the paper during the preparation process, as well as the effects of thyroxine, he relented. After three weeks, three days, and seventeen hours, the subject mentioned to Dr. ██████ that he noticed that his waistline had receded “by almost a full two centimetres”. Measurements found otherwise, but the subject was quick to point out that he had measured in centimetres, and since Dr. ██████ had measured in inches, her conversion calculations may have been off. The provided paper products were then removed in the hopes of testing how compulsive the subject would become without being able to follow the diet after the halfway point. Subject then ate the box in which SCP-XXXX was contained in, and made as if to eat SCP-XXXX as well, which called for immediate termination by gunshot to prevent the SCP's destruction.

Note: “Use the experiment rooms provided for us, rather than testing inside the containment room, with the object present. Let's try to use our brains.” ~ Jack of Spades

Test Log XXXX-2: The test subject was an Asian male, aged 19. Test subject scored a B in the BMI, and voiced no major discomforts with his appearance. SCP-XXXX stated that, for the next 9 months, the only thing that was to be consumed was human (DATA REDACTED), which it claimed would increase general happiness in the subject. Subject understandably expressed extreme disapproval, and was still not impressed even after he was told that (DATA REDACTED) contains large amounts of powerful endorphins, telling Dr. █████████ that he could “drink his own (EXPLETIVE DELETED) (DATA REDACTED). Subject only agreed to the experiment after Dr. █████████ agreed to sign a (forged, therefore non-binding) document stating that the subject would receive $95,000 upon completion of the experiment, and that he would only drink only his own (DATA REDACTED), which was granted. Subject perished after two weeks, displaying severe malnutrition, severe dehydration, and moderate muscle wear in the forearms.

Test Log XXXX-3: The test subject was a Caucasian female, aged 27. Subject's weight was slightly below average, and intelligence on the subject displayed bulimic tendencies. Subject was also rumoured to be a member of a cannibalistic cult, but no evidence of this was found. SCP-XXXX displayed a diet plan consisting of animal meat and (DATA REDACTED), to which the subject was perceived to show moderate alarm. As Dr. ████ was attempting to explain how this could benefit subject's lifestyle, subject flipped the table aside and attacked him, attempting to bite his (DATA REDACTED). Dr. ████ was able to avoid injury by quickly drawing his firearm and discharging three shots into the subject. Subject perished as expected.

Addendum 1: [After Test Log XXXX-3 was completed, request was made for upgrade to Euclid status. Request denied.]

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