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| A suitably flammable container. |
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Item #: SCP-NMBR
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-NMBR is to be stored in a flammable, opaque container in a fire-proof room or bunker at least 10 meters underground. The room is to be equipped with an automated incendiary fail-safe and security system. The incendiary system is to be triggered immediately upon any breach of SCP-NMBR's containment. Once the security breach has been contained, submit a request for a new copy using form NMBR-001. Up to three copies of SCP-NMBR may be stored at any one time, but only one copy is allowed at any one facility. Locations currently equipped to store SCP-NMBR include Site-██, Site-██, Site-██ and Area-██. For security reasons, SCP-NMBR may not be copied onto any digital medium. SCP-NMBR is not to be stored in facilities housing Keter-class objects.
Access requires Level-4 clearance. All testing must be done in the presence of at least two guards, each carrying a dead-man's switch activating some form of incendiary or explosive fail-safe. Only D-Class personnel are permitted to read SCP-NMBR. Due to the difficulty in finding D-Class personnel with sufficient mathematical training, anyone may volunteer as a test subject; however, anyone reading SCP-NMBR must be administered Class A amnesiacs within one hour and undergo two months of further psychological testing and monitoring. No subject may be used to test SCP-NMBR more than once.
Description: SCP-NMBR is a constructive mathematical proof that shows the world we perceive isn't real. It takes some knowledge of advanced mathematics, including multivariate calculus and [REDACTED], to understand the formulas involved […]
Item #: SCP-MNST
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: Shipwreck of a very large, ancient boat containing skeletal remains of mythical creatures.
Item #: SCP-TLPT
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: A phenomenon where someone passes through any portal and ends up somewhere else in a dangerous situation.
Item #: SCP-COLR
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: http://cheezburger.com/6568130816
Item #: SCP-NTGZ-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: A 'yo mamma' joke so bad, everyone who hears it will attack the teller.
Item #: SCP-CRZY
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: Something that takes away a person's ability to think rationally, turning them into conspiracy theorists.
Item #: SCP-FAIL
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: The remains of another Keter-class SCP. Now a region of space in a lower state. Would destroy the universe if containment failed.
Item #: SCP-DROP
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: http://what-if.xkcd.com/12/
Item #: SCP-BABL
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: A piece of pre-Babel text. Anyone reading it can understand any language, but can only write and speak in that language.
Item #: SCP-TEDY
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures:
Description: A group of artificial, living teddy bears that don't like being put in the washing machine.