master incident

'''Incident: IXXX-1'''

SCP involved: SCP-XXX

Date: ██/██/19██

Location: Site ██

Description:

At ██████, the Intruder Alarm was activated for Level ██. Security teams were sent to detain the intruder. The intruder was a Caucasian female, 25 years of age, later found to be from ████████, UK. She was found face down, with her arms behind her head, and was shouting, "I'm sorry!" repeatedly, occasionally interspersed with, "Don't kill me!" or "I didn't know!". Intruder was tranquilized by security as per Protocol 1DK-A, and transported to Holding Cell 12.

Personal effects found on intruder: one (1) brass key (later designated SCP-XXX), one (1) cell phone, silver, one (1) pocketbook, containing one (1) drivers license belonging to Laurie ██████ (database query shows this to be a valid license, matching description of intruder), one (1) ██████ credit card, also belonging to Laurie ██████, one (1) membership card for EB Games, two (2) business cards, one for ████████ Ltd., the other for ██████ Taxi Co., and £42.

Intruder was revived for interrogation, the transcription of which follows:

Interview Log XXX-1-L

Interviewed: Laurie ██████

Interviewer: Security Chief R████

<Begin Log, ██████>

R: "Are you awake?"

L: "Who are you? Where am I?"

R: "What is your name ma'am?"

L: "Oh God, no no no!"

R: "Ma'am, please calm down and answer my question."

L: "I don't know anything, I swear! Please don't kill me!"

R: "Ma'am, we are not going to kill you. Please answer the question."

L: "My name is Laurie ██████, I work at ████████, I li-"

R: "Ma'am, please only answer the question that is asked. You were found in a high security compound, and we would like to know how you got there."

L: "I didn't think it would work, honest! It was just a mistake!"

R: "Ma'am-"

L: "I found this page on ████████ a couple of days ago, and it was about this site called the SCP Foundation, and I read some of the pages on that site, kay? I was thinking that it would be a pretty cool place to work, all kinds of sweet stuff going on. So tonight I took the Master Key and opened my door and there I was, in a spooky hallway. Then the alarm started going off and I panicked and you guys knocked me out and I woke up here."

*Note: the web page mentioned by the intruder is SCP-4445.*

R: "What is the Master Key?"

L: "It's a key, it's sort of… magical."

R: "Would this be the same key found on your person during your apprehension?"

L: "You went through my pockets?"

R: "Yes."

L: "Right, of course. Yes, that would be it."

R: "You said it was 'magical', how so?"

L: "It opens doors, but only swing doors, ya know?"

*Intruder makes swinging motion with her hand*

L: "And it can open them to anywhere, like, I'd use it on my bedroom door and come out the loo at work, if I was running late."

R: "I see."

L: "I never used it to steal, honest! Just to get about places!"

R: "I see."

*Intruder appears to calm after outburst*

L: "Say, do you think I could get a job here? I mean, I know I just sort of broke in and everything, but I didn't really think that this was real, ya know? If I had, I totally would've brought the Master Key to you guys. So, ya know, I really would like to-"

R: "That's not my call, ma'am."

L: "Oh, right, of course. Could you, maybe, get me an interview set up?"

R: "I'll see what I can do, ma'am."

<End Interview Segment, ██████>

Closing Statement: Intruder was further questioned about knowledge of the Foundation. She was not found to possess any knowledge other than that contained on the Foundation front site. She was tested, examined, and interviewed by Dr. G████ for a position at Site ██. Dr. G████ rejected her as a applicant under the basis that she was 'a total fangirl' and that 'She just wants to play with all the weird shit we've got locked up here'. She was given Class A amnesiacs and put under psychic programming, so that mention of, link to or image of SCP related material will instead appear to be a particularly vulgar ████████. She was then returned to her home with all her belongings, excepting SCP-XXX.

<End Log>

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