There once was a man so serious,
yet made people go delirious.
With the sound of his voice,
The audience's rejoice
was something oh so mysterious.
On a day that none could agree,
the Foundation of SCP
Took him off of his stage,
Locked him inside a cage,
To never again be free.
One day, he'd just had enough,
He'd use the force of his gruff.
With a big ol' shout,
Nary a known route,
He'd finally left his cuff.
The alarms and bells did ring,
But the man's voice remained king.
Though try as they might,
The guards couldn't fight,
As the man shot through the wing.
Oh my, the door was right there!
He could almost taste fresh air!
But the door was locked,
And, boy, was he shocked,
When darts hit his skin so bare.
When he awoke from his daze,
He'd long since been in a haze.
The man tried to talk,
But soon went to gawk
With that clear and saddened gaze.
The guards in there saw a nut,
Since they knew where he was shut.
In a soundproof room,
The clear sense of doom,
Hit the man right in the gut.
So ends this man's simple gaffe,
His escape stopped by some staff.
And today he remains,
Always stuck with the strains,
Of being named Mister Laugh.
.
Smoke, gunfire, and death. All of this was normal for a average marine, yet Abe and Terry could never get used to it. It had been a long day, as usual, filled with pot holes in some god-forsaken shit-hole located just south of Afghanistan. They were sent after their squad leader who hadn't reported back to base since Friday. As Abe swiveled the Humvee's mounted gun over to watch the buildings on his right, he caught a glimpse of movement. He announced to the other passengers, "We've got movement on the right." His voice was like ice, cutting the air as the words left his mouth. Among them were Privates Luke, Briggs, O'Malley and Johnson. Luke was a skilled sharpshooter, and O'Malley was the squad's medic.
"It might be our guy, let's check it out," replied Terry, his voice sounding anxious and unsure. He was going through multiple possible scenarios as he said this. This was what he always did: he thought things through, but when it came to the execution of his plans, he usually hesitated. "Keep your guns primed, we don't know what we'll encounter out here." He could feel his heart pound as they approached their destination. He hopped off the Humvee as he gripped his assault rifle. The dust began to settle behind the truck as the others followed Terry. A sense of dread very soon overcame him. "I don't have such a good feeling about this," he said, sounding just as worried as he had for the entire trip.
Abe jumped out of his mounted weapon and equipped his rifle as well. "Let's just get our man and get the hell out of here, I'm getting a bad vibe from here…" Abe began examining through all of the windows of the buildings nearby. A man came stumbling out of one such building, clutching his left arm, and soaked in blood. Abe shouted as loud as he could, "We've got a wounded one here!" He fell to the ground, unable to respond. Almost automatically, Abe yanked the medic over to him and told him, "O'Malley, fix him up!" As O'Malley muttered something vulgar under his breath, he kneeled next to the wounded man and calmly asked, "What happened? Who did this, and how many were there?" The man began coughing up blood and what was probably teeth all over the young medic. The man's response sent chills down the squad member's spines.
"One…"
"One? How the hell could just one person be capable of this? There's no way bullets did that," Terry asked, the tension building in his mind.
"He's right," the medic told them, wiping the blood off his face. "These are slash wounds on his arm, no bullet could have done this."
Terry began calming himself down and started trying to rationalize things. "Okay, What causes slash wounds? Knives, swords, blades of all sorts…" His speech slowly drifted into a low murmur and started pacing. Abe turned his gaze away from Terry and back to the mortally wounded man. He asked, "What did the man who did this look like? What was-" He was cut off by the man, who said, "Not a man. Not human…" As he said this, he fell silent, eyes closing shut.
Just before Abe turned to Terry to call for EVAC, a car came flying from behind one of the buildings, killing Luke, Johnson, and Briggs in one fell swoop.
Abe's combat instinct took over. He shouted at O'Malley, "Leave him, he's a dead man! Get the fuck out of here and call for EVAC!" Abe threw himself into the Humvee's turret and began loading rounds into the gun. The bullets were stowed in the trunk of the truck, along with 2 units of C-4 and a remote detonator. "Whatever this thing is, it better not be bullet-proof," he said to the remaining members. As the car-thrower emerged from the building, it was apparent to Abe, Terry and O'Malley that it couldn't have been real. It came lumbering out of the nearest building, its bulky arms picking up the poor young medic. As it began doing indescribable actions to the corpse, his screams echoed across the desert. A solitary voice shouted at it.
"HEY! FUCK YOU!" Abe opened fire on the monster. The bullets might as well have been made of rubber as they bounced off the creatures hulking body. "Now would be a good time to pull something out of your ass, Terry!" he shouted at Terry, visibly worried. Looking at the C-4, Terry's face, now stern and apparently unconcerned with self-preservation, dropped the rifle on the ground. He held the plastic explosives and the remote detonator in each hand as he bolted for one of the buildings. "Terry, where the fuck are you going?!" Abe shouted at Terry. He shouted back, "I'm out for some cookies and creme, hope you like chocolate chip!" The monster turned his attention from the already captured body to its next snack. The pursuit began, the hunter slowly catching up to its prey. Terry ran through a decrepit building.
It was at this point that Abe assumed the worst. He jumped out of the mounted gun and chased after Terry. As Abe saw him running around the building, he seemed angered and relieved all in one moment. "Terry, get back over here, for God's sake! We need to kill it, not play hide and seek!" Terry simply stood in front of the building as the monster began chasing after it again. Terry no longer was holding the C-4, but rather a prepared detonator.
Boom.
The building collapsed on the loser of the battle. The scream of the dying beast sounded eldritch, yet suitable for such a large monster as that.
"Well that's over," Terry said, dusting himself off. He seemed as if he couldn't conceive what had just happened. "Let's go break the news to the base. Think we'll have to be transferred to another squad?"
Abe replied, in the same tone of disbelief, "Probably."
The two survivors left the red battlefield, along with their fallen comrades, to return home.
Interview 2
Interviewer: "What is your name?"
Terry: Terry. I'm a Private First Class. May we move on to the incident?
Interviewer: Not so fast. How do you know Abraham?
Terry: Oh, we're in the same squad. I was also with Luke, Johnson, Briggs, and O'Malley. We were out searching for our squad leader, Mendez. He disappeared, and we knew he wouldn't go AWOL on his own volition.
Interviewer: And did you find him?
Terry looked at the table with a very solemn face.
Terry: No, but we did find a civilian. Mauled, bloodied, eviscerated. Choose your word, it described him at that moment.
Interviewer: By SCP-████, am I correct?
Terry: Yes. Big as a goddamn elephant. Slow like one too.
Interviewer: And how did you manage to terminate it?
Terry: Took a bit of C-4 and some cat-and-mouse tactics. Oh, and a dilapidated building, that helped too.
Interviewer: I see. I think we're done here.
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| SCP-XXXX |
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Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be placed in a secure storage container in Site 12. Dr. Taylor must give written approval in order to allow access to the container.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a roll of ███████ brand duct tape, found during a raid on a Global Occult Coalition warehouse. The object does not exhibit anomalous characteristics until the tape has been adhered to a static surface for between ██ to ██ minutes. Once the time threshold has been reached, an invisible wall has been shown to manifest without warning. Any attempts to use infrared or ultraviolet sensors are inconclusive. Testing has shown that organic materials are incapable of passing the line the tape has marked. Inorganic matter passes through the barrier without any noticeable difficulty. Plasma, however, exhibits [REDACTED]. As a result, any tests involving plasma are strictly prohibited. Approximately 5 hours after adhesion, the placed strip will disintegrate, and the barrier will vanish. The resulting ashes have shown no anomalous characteristics.
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| The closest SCP-1477 has been to being solved prior to ██/██/12. |
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Item #: SCP-1477
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1477 is to be kept in a secure container in Site 11's storage. Braces should be kept on SCP-1477 to prevent any autonomous scrambling that may occur. Dr. Taylor is no longer allowed to test SCP-1477 (See Incident 1477-A). Personnel with any severity of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or any other severe obsessive disorder, are not allowed to come within visual contact with SCP-1477.
Description: SCP-1477 is a standard 3x3 Rubik's Cube puzzle, currently ██ steps away from completion. When any person attempts to solve the puzzle, between 2 and ██ squares will swap when unobserved. Computer simulations have shown that it will remain solvable after the colors swap, but due to the nature of SCP-1477 and the natural impossibility of observing all sides, the puzzle will remain in a loop of solving and scrambling. Personnel who have attempted to solve it have heard clockwork ticking very quietly during the swapping, and have described it as unsettling.
SCP-1477 has also been shown to have a secondary memetic effect. Whenever any person makes visual contact with SCP-1477, they will feel a moderate urge to fiddle around with it, regardless of whether or not the aforementioned person knows how to solve it. The effect has been shown to be very weak, though, and can easily be overcome within seconds or upon verbal command. In rare cases, the urge is nearly unconquerable, and requires forced removal. Upon losing visual contact, the afflicted have no memory of ever making visual contact with SCP-1477 in that instance. OCD-afflicted personnel will always exhibit this unconquerable urge, and have been shown to be much more aggressive in attacking others.
Details of Recovery: SCP-1477 was found in the residential apartment of Norman ███████ in ███ ██████, Nevada. It was found near the master bedroom, along with the fingerless corpse of Norman. On the walls of the room were messages either drawn with pencil marks or scratched into the paint. Among these messages were "MUST SOLVE CANNOT" and "CHECK YOUR WORK [TEXT ILLEGIBLE]". Many of the messages loop around the entire room. Papers with drawings of SCP-1477 covered the desks in an adjacent room, many of them showing the color layout of each side.
INCIDENT 1477-A
Personnel Involved: Dr. Taylor, Dr. ████
Date: ██/██/12
Location: Office of Dr. Adam Taylor in Site 11.
Description: Dr. Adam Taylor attempted to solve SCP-1477, along with 3 cameras recording the sides that Dr. Taylor was incapable of seeing. With the additional help of Dr. ████'s surveillance, SCP-1477 was solved in 14 minutes and 27 seconds. Upon solution, the white layer unhinged to show a secret compartment. Within was the message "CHECK YOUR WORK ADAM". When Dr. Taylor attempted to inspect the inside further, the Rubik's Cube snapped shut on his ring fingers and began to scramble autonomously. With the help of Dr. ████, Dr. Taylor's ensnared fingers were promptly amputated. Due to safety concerns, SCP-1477 was removed from his possession.
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| SCP-XXXX |
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Item #: SCP-XXXX
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a secure container for liquids in Site 19. Should any personnel come in contact with SCP-XXXX, they are to be immediately placed into a chemical bath for a duration between 1 to 2 hours. If SCP-XXXX reaches its second phase before personnel can be placed in the chemical bath, they are to be placed in an isolation chamber and submerged in an aqueous solution of various vinca alkaloids for a duration between 10 to 12 hours. Under no circumstances are any objects capable of puncturing skin to come within 5 meters of SCP-XXXX or within 10 meters of any personnel inflicted with SCP-XXXX.
During the third stage of its cycle, 10 D-Class personnel, before their monthly termination, are to intravenously take in 50 mL of SCP-XXXX.
Description: SCP-XXXX is a pink paste roughly 168 mL 214 mL in volume.
When placed on the open wound of any human, SCP-XXXX will seep into the wound over a period of time ranging from approximately 10 minutes to an hour, the time taken increasing with the wound's severity. During this time, the wound will begin to heal at an accelerated pace. Upon the cessation of said healing, the wound site will be left covered in a clear slime. This slime is fairly difficult to remove, as it adheres to the subject's skin.
I. Intro
II. Describe different types of mailboxes
A. Type A
1. Varieties in Look
2. Mating
3. Communication
B. Similarities
1. Environment
2. Diet
C. Type B
1. Varieties in Look
2. Mating
3. Communication
D. Inter-Type Interactions
1. Aggression
2. Superiority
3. Clans
III. Conclusion