No, John. You are the demons.

Item #: SCP-1012

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:

As SCP-1012 poses extremely little threat to any Foundation material or personnel, it is to be kept in an unfurnished D-Class dormitory room on Site [REDACTED]. Motion sensors are to be placed at the door, and at least one guard must be posted outside if SCP-1012 leaves the room.

If SCP-1012 leaves the room, the guard must speak to SCP-1012 in a slow, stern voice, and ignore any threats, pleas, or insults from SCP-1012. If SCP-1012 does not obey the guard's commands, physical force is authorized. The guard may employ any method he/she sees fit to return SCP-1012 to its room.

Any requests from SCP-1012 are to be denied.

DESCRIPTION: SCP-XXX is a four-limbed humanoid. Its most common appearance bears a resemblance to “stereotypical” depictions of an Abrahamic devil: approximately five meters in height, red in color, horns similar to that of several mountain ram species, visible musculature, legs equine in appearance and with hooves approximately thirty (30) centimeters in diameter, and wings that have been described as “leathery” and “bat-like”, approximately fourteen meters in wingspan during flight. It, however, has extremely poor control when flying, and often crashes into structures.

Its intelligence is on par with an average human being. Memory span tests are still being conducted, but IQ tests have been scored to 95, after some difficulties in co-operation.

It speaks in a guttural accent, and often attempts to make its voice sound deeper by various means (such as inhaling various chemicals or chain smoking), presumably to sound more threatening. It is fluent in standard English and vulgar Latin.

It can change size and mass at will, but not without obvious exertion, in a process taking approximately ten minutes. It is unknown how SCP-1012 gains and loses mass.

SCP-1012 often provokes, or attempts to provoke, irritation and annoyance in sapient beings, and derives amusement from the act of doing so. SCP-1012's favored method of provoking personnel are insults, often directed at the target's name, nickname(s), family, race, nationality, creed, date of birth, birthplace, hometown (or location that target commonly associates with), accent, posture, similarity to various plant or animal species, facial appearance, body appearance, weight, amongst other miscellanea. SCP-1012 is often prone to hypocrisy in these insults, and various personnel have easily countered said insults. Insulting SCP-1012 or countering its insults enrages SCP-1012 to the point of incoherency.

Despite the musculature and bulk of SCP-1012, it does not possess much strength. It cannot lift dumbbells weighing more than six KG, and was not able to benchpress a bar that had no weights attached, though it is unknown how it can carry SCP-1012-2. While it has assaulted Foundation personnel, personnel have reported no pain or injuries. It has attempted, several times, to stab personnel with SCP-1012-2, but either due to ineptitude, anomaly, or both, all wounds that normally would have been fatal are instead minor scratches.

All attempts at decommissioning SCP-1012 have failed - it has regenerated from fatal injuries, such as incineration at temperatures exceeding ten thousand Celsius (10,000 c), disintegration from five minutes of sustained fire from three GAU-8 Avenger Gatling-type Rotary Cannons, usage of various existence-erasing SCPs, and [DATA EXPUNGED].

Notice: The next person who tries to waste Foundation ammo or breach protocol by using an SCP on it is dinner for SCP-743.

SCP-1012-2 is a trident, approximately four (4) meters in length, and weighing approximately thirty-three (33) kilograms. The prongs measure 50 centimeters each. Attempts at carbon dating have been unsuccessful. SCP-1012 appears to have a psychological dependence on SCP-1012 – searching for it if it is confiscated or hidden, and becoming agitated if he does not have it in his possession for at least a day, but testing has revealed it displays no other anomalous qualities. Notably, the trident is capable of inflicting lethal wounds when not wielded by SCP-1012.

Both SCPs were recovered after an exorcism in Vatican City. Archbishop ████████████ had exorcised █████ ██████, when SCP-1012 was described to have "erupted" from ██████'s cranium. Interestingly, ██████ was unharmed. Agent ██████████, who was monitoring local police traffic, responded and apprehended SCP-1012 after a brief struggle, in which [DATA EXPUNGED] was used to deliver a concussion to SCP-1012. Class B Amnesiacs were administered to █████ ██████, and Class A Amnesiacs were administered to responding police. Archbishop ████████████ has agreed to keep silent on the issue, and will maintain contact with the SCP Foundation as per [REDACTED] Directive.

Note from Doctor ████: Is it any wonder that Agent ██████████ was banned from Vatican City? Seriously? Who parades around a holy city with your [EXPLETIVE DELETED] waving from your [EXPLETIVE DELETED]?

Agent ██████████ was reprimanded and placed on one month's probation.

Document-1012 – Experiment Log:

03/04/[REDACTED] - Interaction with SCP-738

Subject immediately walked to SCP-738 and seated itself before supervising personnel had issued a command. A violent altercation immediately ensued, with a being vaguely resembling SCP-1012 in color and form appearing in the opposite seat and striking SCP-1012 in the face. Unknown language (analyzed by Foundation linguists have drawn conclusions from an off-shoot of Sumerian or an off-shoot of Latin) spoken by both; the being generated by SCP-738 appeared to be angrily admonishing SCP-1012, who was described as “begging” and “apologizing” by monitoring personnel. Exactly five minutes into the altercation, [DATA EXPUNGED].

SCP-1012 regenerated from the wounds inflicted in approximately one hour, but complained of lasting pain until approximately five hours later. It is not known if it was attempting to harass medical personnel with constant complaints.

03/07/[REDACTED] - Interaction with SCP-616

Subject was instructed to enter SCP-616 twenty-four (24) hours before take-off (see SCP-616 for more information). During flight, the door opened. Instead of [DATA EXPUNGED], however, SCP-1012 was sucked inside. Approximately ten minutes later, SCP-616 opened (anomalously, [DATA EXPUNGED] did not occur , and SCP-1012 was ejected from the plane via SCP-616-1 at approximately the speed of sound (1236 kilometers per hour) After interaction, SCP-1012 was noted to be petulant and depressed, but this lasted for only the remainder of the day. Subject would not comment on the events of the experiment, even after threats and offers of various candies.

It should be noted that SCP-1012's entry into the door did not cause [DATA EXPUNGED], therefore not requiring Procedure 600-Shoki to be executed. However, supervising Research team is pending possible termination of employment and/or life due to unnecessary risks taken during experiment.

-Addendum 1012-B: Under no circumstances are references to Satanic or Pseudo-Satanic media of any format be seen or heard by SCP-1012. - Doctor Ashford
Denied. SCP-1012 does not escalate in threat after testing with D-Class personnel. -O5-4
Denial rescinded. Just, please, someone make it [EXPLETIVE DELETED] shut up!-05-4

Addendum 1012-C: Latest request from SCP-1012 for reclassification of SCP-1012 to Keter class denied. Further requests of this nature to be ignored. - O5-4

Addendum 1012-D: Request from Dr. Clef for for reclassification of SCP-1012 to Keter class denied, as it is obviously a very poor forgery, contains no less than 14 spelling mistakes, and smells of sulfur. -O5-4

Addendum 1012-E: O5-4 is hereby banned from all interaction with SCP-1012, after several reported cases of finding it resting upon his shoulder after containment breaches. Re-classification to Keter is pending.
Note: But don't tell the little red [EXPLETIVE DELETED]. He'd never shut up about it. -Dr. ███████

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