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Also see Dexanote's upcoming writing piece "Fish and Chomp: The tale of Amanda the Mermaid and Fernand the Cannibal's lost love."
[00:48] pooryoric hey, salmander, I have two -J idea I'm never going to write. want 'em?
[00:48] pooryoric *ideas
[00:48] Salmander Eh, sure
[00:48] Nusquam Will read in a moment, Sal.
[00:49] Salmander Lay em on me yoric
[00:49] pooryoric one is a drug fueled fear and loathing style stream of consciousness document about containment procedures of the PCP Foundation
[00:49] Salmander Hehe, alright
[00:50] pooryoric and the other is a desperate containment writeup for the anomalous insectoid SCP object that's OH FUCK SHIT ON YOUR FUCKING FACE RIGHT NOW FUCK
The Tool Hive
 |
| SCP-HHH-1 while captured |
Item #: SCP-HHH
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-HHH and any created copies are to be kept in a Class-5 biological containment area, inhabited by a diverse ecology of birds, insects, arachnids, annelids, small mammals, amphibians, and fish, located at Site ██. All instances are to be hung from a tree located anywhere in the containment area. A standard containment door requiring a pass-code changed weekly is all that is necessary. The pass-code may be given by any personnel of a security clearance level of one (1) or higher. Any personnel using SCP-HHH must log what they inserted as well as give a description of the product. Removal of the product for personal possession must be approved of by the current head of research. If there is a containment failure all personnel must be alerted of the failure and inform security if they see any instances of SCP-HHH, -1, or -2, but may otherwise stay on duty.
Pour la sécurité, il aura fallu investir dans une alarme et un coffre-fort.
Un coffre-fort certifié de la société permet de faire garantir les valeurs stockées à l'[http://armoireforte.wikidot.com/system:welcome] intérieur du coffre fort ou de l'armoire forte.
Description: SCP-HHH is a fake wasp's nest, commonly used to deter wasps from entering an area inhabited by humans. Its external covering is typical paper, covered in the design of a wasp's nest and stretched over SCP-HHH. SCP-HHH has an opening at its top and bottom. Examination of SCP-HHH reveals that inside it is a complex amount of machinery. The machinery is mainly composed of iron and steel, with trace amounts of [REDACTED]. The operations of this machinery vary from the simple placement of wings to the microscopic infusion of [REDACTED], which cannot be reproduced.
Approximately every two (2) hours SCP-HHH will activate and release an organism, similar in size and appearance to the common honey bee (designated SCP-HHH-1), from a chamber near its bottom opening. Upon first inspection SCP-HHH appears to be composed of carved gemstones and gold. However, further analysis of the composition of SCP-HHH-1 has shown that it is made-up of imitation plastics. The energy source driving SCP-HHH-1 is unknown.
Once released SCP-HHH-1 will spread its “wings” and fly around in a manner identical to a honey bee. If SCP-HHH-1 encounters nothing for it to carry or inhabit, it will return to its chamber in one (1) hour. If SCP-HHH-1 encounters another fake wasp's nest with an opening at the top and bottom it will fly into the nest and go into a state of germination. Machinery from SCP-HHH-1 will begin to “sprout” and “grow” until it is identical to SCP-HHH. This process takes approximately three (3) days. If SCP-HHH-1 encounters an artificially produced, non-organic object, it will attempt to pick up the object and carry it to SCP-HHH's top opening. No exact guidelines have been determined as to choice of the object aside from that SCP-HHH-1 must be able to carry it and the object must be able to fit into SCP-HHH through the top opening. SCP-HHH-1 will then drop the object into SCP-HHH and return to its chamber. Any object can also be placed into SCP-HHH through artificial means.
Once SCP-HHH detects that a suitable object has been placed inside it, it will activate and begin to “convert” the object. Observation into SCP-HHH during the conversion process has shown that the object is dropped onto a sensor covering the middle of SCP-HHH, which will activate and “sweep” the object into a chamber. Faint sounds of machinery working are heard and last approximately eight (8) seconds to two (2) minutes. Once the sounds stop the converted object (Designated SCP-HHH-2) is ejected out of a chute at the bottom of the nest.
Usually SCP-HHH-2 will have the original object as its thorax, with wings, legs or other appendages attached to the main body. Examination of the appendages has shown they are composed of the same material as the interior of SCP-HHH. SCP-HHH-2's power source is unknown. SCP-HHH-2 will behave as a normal organism, collecting nutrients and defending its “hive”, SCP-HHH. The behaviour or purpose of the object is usually dependent on its previous function, before being converted. Many instances of SCP-HHH-2 have been shown to be domesticable, and show a suggested intelligence comparable to the common dog's. However, this intelligence is centered entirely around SCP-HHH-02's function and cannot be utilized otherwise.
SCP-HHH-2 can be “killed” in the traditional manner. Destruction of SCP-HHH-2's appendages usually causes it to revert back to its original state. Samples of SCP-HHH-2 who collect “food” for SCP-HHH usually retrieve plant matter, small insects, and arthropods. Larger instances of SCP-HHH-2 have been recorded as getting rodents, small fish, and recently hatched birds. Once the “food” has been retrieved SCP-HHH-2 will drop it into SCP-HHH through its top opening. It is theorized that SCP-HHH then digests the captured prey, but through what means is unknown.
SCP-HHH was originally discovered by Agent ██████, situated in Northern Alberta. While surveying a curiosity shop, he noticed a customer bringing in a living pen. Agent ██████ immediately apprehended the customer and questioned him as to the source of the pen. The agent found SCP-HHH hanging from an abandoned cabin accessible by a game trail. He successfully retrieved SCP-HHH and delivered it to Site ██ with no further complications.
Addendum HHH-A: Test Logs of the placement of objects inside SCP-HHH
Log Format
Input:
Conversion Time:
Output:
Notes:
Input: .05 mm lead mechanical pencil, loaded with three (3) pieces of lead
Conversion time: Twenty (20) seconds
Output: Same pencil (identified by discovering Dr. Corbette's fingerprints on the pencil) with four (4) insect-like legs and two (2) antennae
Notes: Pencil walked in a circular pattern around the ground above which SCP-HHH hung. When threatened SCP-HHH would shoot its lead at a speed of approximately 100 kilometers per hour, piercing the head of an approaching praying mantis. Upon the lead running out SCP-HHH quickly climbed up SCP-HHH's tree and into its top opening. After nine (9) seconds the pencil was ejected out of SCP-HHH's bottom opening with five (5) more pieces of lead. Nicknamed "Tex" by research staff.
Input: Bic brand retractable pen
Conversion time: Eight (8) seconds
Output: Same pen with two wings of similar shape to a butterfly's
Notes: Pen flew around SCP-HHH. When threatened the pen flew up to the threat and injected ink into an area penetrated by its tip. Pen was later captured. When released it flew around until it was introduced to a sheet of paper, upon which it settled. When asked the pen would write whatever the asker requested. When asked to draw something the pen drew a rudimentary image of a hive. Beyond the ability to write and draw the pen shows the approximate intelligence of a regular dog. The pen was later utilized to take notes on all other experiments with SCP-HHH. Nicknamed "Penny" by research staff. Was found to later respond to that name.
Input: Small porcelaine figurine of young girl
Conversion time: One (1) minute and thirty-eight (38) seconds
Output: The same figurine with two wings similar to a butterfly's placed on what would be the shoulder blades
Notes: Figurine used appendages in similar matter to humans, including picking up things with its hands and walking on its feet. The paint on the figurine also mimicked movement, such as movement of the eyes and swaying of the figurine's dress. The figurine flew around the containment area collecting decaying plant matter for SCP-HHH. When approached by a researcher the figurine bit his finger. Nicknamed "Thumbelina" by research staff.
Input: A clear sixty (60) watt light-bulb
Conversion time: Fifty-six (56) seconds
Output: Same light-bulb with two (2) wings similar to a firefly's interior wings and six (6) insect-like legs at the conducting end
Notes: The light-bulb settled in a dark corner of the containment area and proceeded to flash its filament repeatedly. An insect soon approached it, at which point the light-bulb flew into the air and grabbed the insect. It flew to SCP-HHH and dropped the insect into the top opening. The light-bulb was later captured and placed in a dark room, which it immediately lit up. By clapping twice, researchers were able to cause the light-bulb to stop and start illuminating. Nicknamed "Clapper" by research staff.
Input: Standard .22 handgun ammo
Conversion time: Thirty (30) seconds
Output: Same ammo with two (2) small wings and [DATA EXPUNGED]
Notes: [DATA EXPUNGED] Nicknamed "Zip" by research staff.
Well that was messy. No more ammunition, ok guys? - Dr. Corbette
Input: Apple brand iPod headphones, headphone clasp removed
Conversion time: Two (2) minutes
Output: Same headphones with several hundred small legs covering entire length except the connecting jack and the headphones
Notes: Headphones appeared to have the jack as the head and the two headphones as two tails. The headphones's position as left and right as tails also corresponded with the original left and right markings. The headphones searched for a large insect and wrapped one of its tails around a grasshopper, squeezing it until it died. The headphones then carried the grasshopper with one tail while walking to SCP-HHH with its frontal area and the other tail. The headphones were later found strangling a small mouse and carrying to SCP-HHH. The mouse was initially too fast for the headphones, however they later emitted a high-pitched noise which incapacitated the mouse. Nicknamed "Creepy" by research staff.
Input: Swiss Army Knife brand multi-tool
Conversion Time: One (1) minute and fifty-six (56) seconds
Output: Same multi-tool with one side stripped and replaced with double-layer wings similar to a beetle's, six (6) insect-like legs on the opposite side, and several new mechanisms including: a small spear, a spray bottle filled with a noxious substance, a retractable coil of string, and a small spark generator
Notes: When not making use of its mechanisms the Swiss Army Knife walked and flew around in a similar fashion to a beetle. Upon encountering a shrew the knife pivoted its spear mechanism to its front and charged towards the shrew, impaling it upon the knife's "head". It retracted the spear and proceeded to tie up the shrew with a coil of string. In a similar fashion to a helicopter, the knife hovered in the air while carrying the shrew below it. It then deposited the shrew into SCP-HHH. When researchers attempted to capture the knife it sprayed a noxious liquid into their faces, temporarily disabling them. The knife then returned to SCP-HHH, presumably refilling its spray bottle. In a second attempt of capture the noxious fume was sprayed, however the knife also used its sparking mechanism to ignite the liquid, causing small burns onto both personnel. No further attempts of capture have been tried. Nicknamed "The Swiss" by research staff.
Input: Standard hypodermic needle
Conversion Time: Forty-seven (47) seconds
Output: Same syringe with two (2) wings similar to a dragonfly's, eight (8) insect-like legs along the tube, and a transparent, yellow liquid in its tube
Notes: Syringe rested for a long period of time. After three (3) hours the Apple headphones were injured in the attempted strangulation of a large fish, showing a large fray in the connection of the left headphone. The syringe immediately flew over to the headphones and injected a quarter of its contained liquid into the rubber wiring surrounding the fray. The fray repaired and recovered itself in thirty (30) seconds. The syringe then returned to SCP-HHH to refill itself. After capturing and examining the fluid inside the syringe, it was revealed that the liquid was made-up of [DATA EXPUNGED]. Nicknamed "Doc" by research staff.
Input: Battery-powered analog wrist watch
Conversion Time: One (1) minute and seven (7) seconds
Output: Same wrist watch with wrist bands replaced by wings similar to a moth's and a small "mouth" located along the bottom side of the battery encasement
Notes: The wrist watch was seen to fly around containment area before encountering a small caterpillar. The wrist watch then descended upon the caterpillar and "swallowed" it. Once it absorbed all of the caterpillar, the wrist watch flew back to SCP-HHH and regurgitated the caterpillar into SCP-HHH. Nicknamed "Chewbacca" by research staff.
Future Planner
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| SCP-PPP |
Item #: SCP-PPP
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: [EXPUNGED]
Description: SCP-PPP appears to be a Samsung brand Corby Pro mobile phone. SCP-PPP operates normally, and requires a battery. Damage to SCP-PPP is sustained.
SCP-PPP's anomalous effects come into effect when an "event" is added to the phone's planner. In spite of all attempts to stop said event from occurring, the planned event will always happen. SCP-PPP also seems to stop others from deleting the event from the phone's planner.
Addendum PPP-1: SCP-PPP's containment procedures have been expunged following incident PPP-1. Access to SCP's containment procedures may be given following O5 approval.
Addendum PPP-2: Incident PPP-1:
SCPs Involved: SCP-PPP
Personnel Involved: Dr. Filbert, Research Assistant Mcqueen, Mobile Task Force Mu Five, Overwatch HQ Security Staff, O5-█
Date: ██/██/20██
Location: Site-██, Overwatch HQ
Description:
Dr. Filbert had recently been placed in charge of research of SCP-PPP, and was assisted by Research Assistant Mcqueen. In the time period leading up to Incident PPP-1, several personnel later reported to have seen Dr. Filbert acting increasingly anti-social. Research Assistant Mcqueen stated that Dr. Filbert had been developing an increasing obsession with SCP-PPP.
On ██/██/20██, Dr. Filbert requested that Research Assistant Mcqueen file a document regarding the design of SCP-PPP's planner. Upon Research Assistant Mcqueen's return, he had found Dr. Filbert gone from the experimentation room. Presuming Dr. Filbert to have gone to the lavatory, Research Assistant Mcqueen sat down and waited for Dr. Filbert's return. When it became apparent that Dr. Filbert would not return, Research Assistant Mcqueen decided to perform minor experimentation with SCP-PPP. However, he noticed a new event had been added for the next day, stating, "Dr. Filbert replaces O5-█."
Research Assistant Mcqueen immediately alerted O5-█. O5-█ responded quickly by sending Mobile Task Force Mu Five "Dr. Deposers" to immediately overtake Dr. Filbert at Site-██. Several members expressed distaste in capturing Dr. Filbert, stating that they enjoyed his presence. Retrospective investigation of the incident showed that no members of MTF Mu Five had ever expressed interest in conversing with Dr. Filbert before incident PPP-1.
MTF Mu Five immediately located Dr. Filbert in his office. However, during attempted capture several members of MTF Mu Five mutinied and killed the team leader. They declared Dr. Filbert their "new leader" and mobilized to Overwatch HQ.
Upon reaching Overwatch HQ, MTF Mu Five engaged Overwatch HQ's security forces. In spite of being grossly outnumbered, MTF Mu Five did not experience any casualties. After 30 minutes of conflict, an unidentified member of MTF Mu Five called for cease-fire. He immediately gave a speech which most listeners have described as "inspirational". Following the speech, Overwatch HQ's security forces joined MTF Mu Five and deposed O5-█, placing him into Overwatch HQ's temporary holding cells. Dr. Filbert replaced O5-█.
Following his placement as O5-█, Dr. Filbert ordered the immediate capture of SCP-PPP. Research Assistant Mcqueen, who had been containing SCP-PPP, was soon approached by Site-██ security staff. Stating that he would retrieve SCP-PPP, Research Assistant Mcqueen entered SCP-PPP' containment area. Under the pressure of giving Dr. Filbert SCP-PPP, Research Assistant Mcqueen entered SCP-PPP's planner and entered, "Dr. Filbert dies. O5-█ reinstated. Normalcy in Foundation behaviour returns" to take place the following hour.
The event appeared to have taken place. Dr. Filbert died from stroke due to a plaque build-up released during battle. O5-█ is reinstated. MTF Mu Five and security personnel are severely reprimanded. Investigation is still being performed into the lack of response from other Foundation personnel.
Mr. Lie
 |
| SCP-916-J during routine testing |
Item #: SCP-916-J
Object Class: Safe Euclid Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-916-J is to be contained in a standard humanoid cell and fed as per standard nutritional recommendation. SCP-916-J is to be contained in a humanoid Keter class containment cell and beaten daily (preferably by D-class personnel with histories of sexual assault) until he tells us the truth. Every seven (7) hours personnel are to give SCP-916-J stale bread and sour milk. Any personnel making eye contact with SCP-916-J are to spit on him.
If any incident is to occur, personnel are to interrogate SCP-916-J with maximum prejudice.
As of current regulations on "Misters", SCP-916-J is to be contained in Hall ██ of Site-██. As SCP-916-J is probably rallying the others into rebellion, SCP-916-J has been moved to solitary confinement at Area-██.
Description: SCP-916-J appears to be a male Causcasian a dirty fucking liar. Although SCP-916-J behaves normally seems to behave like he's done nothing, subjects conversing with SCP-916-J come under the illusion know that SCP-916-J is lying, even in cases where the subject is aware of the truth.
Although initial effects are minimal, over time subjects interacting with SCP-916-J become increasingly suspicious of his actions. Subjects will accuse SCP-916-J of causing unrelated incidents, and will continually harass SCP-916-J.
SCP-916-J was discovered at Entrance [EXPUNGED] of Site-██.
Addendum 916-J-1: The words "Mr. Lie, from Little Misters ® by Dr. Wondertainment" are tattooed upon SCP-916-J's right calf. Upon discovery SCP-916-J had been wearing a button-up shirt and blue khakis with the brand name "Doctor's Orders" sewn into the tags.
Addendum 916-J-2: SCP-916-J apparently misplaced his "Misters list". The dirty bastard probably shred up his list.
Addendum 916-J-3: This guy can't be that bad. C'mon guys, lay off him. - Dr. ███████
Addendum 916-J-4: Requesting immediate termination of SCP-916-J. Bastard got my cat stuck in a tree. - Dr. ███████
Addendum 916-J-5: Interview 916-J-1:
Interviewed: SCP-916-J
Interviewer: Dr. ██████████
Foreword: SCP-916-J had recently been discovered. Personnel already knew he was a secret spy or guerrilla activist.
<Begin Log>
Dr. ██████████: So how did you come to be here, nine sixteen - if that is your real name?
SCP-916-J: You gave that name to me, it isn't my real na-
Dr. ██████████: A-ha! I knew it! Who sent you here?
SCP-916-J: Well, I can't remember much, but I guess Dr. Wonder-
Dr. ██████████: It was the Chaos Insurgency, wasn't it?
SCP-916-J: Who? I've never heard o-
Dr. ██████████: Of course you've heard from them, it was in your IRG training!
SCP-916-J: IR-
Dr. ██████████: A-ha! You know who they are! Now why did they send you?
SCP-916-J: Now hold on ju-
Dr. ██████████: He's trying to exert some mental force on me! Guards!
<End Log>
Closing Statement: SCP-916-J was placed in a room with several hungry leopards. In spite of major injuries sustained, SCP-916-J refused to reveal any truthful information.
The Eaten Tower
 |
| SCP-TTT while surfaced in [REDACTED] |
Item #: SCP-TTT
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Mobile Task Force Nu Four "Architects" have currently been assigned to tracking and destroying all instances of SCP-TTT and SCP-TTT-1. One instance of SCP-TTT is kept at Site-17 for study. No more than 15 personnel are to occupy SCP-TTT at any time.
Description: SCP-TTT appears to be a large organism camouflaged as an artificial structure. SCP-TTT's exoskeleton has the same texture as concrete and plaster, however microscopic examination shows the exoskeleton to be more similar to turtle shell. SCP-TTT's interior appears to be painted pink. Various office components may be found on each floor. The "elevators" are labeled as out of order and do not work, however access may be gained through the "stairwell". SCP-TTT may also line its interior or exterior with bioluminescent cells, emulating electrical lighting.
SCP-TTT will hibernate in the upper crust for the majority of its lifespan. Once SCP-TTT requires nourishment, it will burrow upwards at speeds of up to 15 km/h. SCP-TTT will always burrow towards an empty lot, usually part of a large city. SCP-TTT will initially sprout what appears to be minor construction equipment. SCP-TTT will then grow in a pattern similar to the construction of a building of its type. Eventually SCP-TTT will become as high or slightly higher than surrounding buildings. It will always sprout an antenna once it has finished growing.
SCP-TTT will produce roots that burrow into buildings holding records on its surrounding area. These roots will destroy any records on the immediate area around SCP-TTT.
Approximately seven (7) weeks following SCP-TTT's surfacing, several humanoid figures will appear within SCP-TTT. These figures may mimic office workers, janitorial staff, or tourists. They will move in a set pattern, such as the "hands" moving as if to write. These figures are directly attached to SCP-TTT and are covered in a highly adhesive substance. Touching these figures causes occupants to become stuck to SCP-TTT.
SCP-TTT may eventually produce a banner on its most viewed side, usually advertising its "Grand Opening". Other messages may include promises of free food or that SCP-TTT is open for rent.
Once occupancy of SCP-TTT reaches 40-50 people, SCP-TTT will secrete a highly acidic compound into its interior, digesting all occupants. SCP-TTT will then release its antenna into the upper atmosphere, designated SCP-TTT-1, and return to the crust. SCP-TTT-1 will drop to the Earth at high speeds, causing it to puncture the crust. SCP-TTT-1 will then germinate and produce a new instance of SCP-TTT.
SCP-TTT has an average lifespan of fifty (50) years.
Audio Log 7819-V
Foreword: Due to a mistake during the transportation of SCP-682 and SCP-173, the two objects both breached containment at Site-██. Possibly the reason for their escape was their odd hostility towards each other. Following the breach the two SCPs caused the breach of SCPs 507, 746, 890, and 011, then came to the cafeteria. The following was recorded.
<Commence Log>
Agent ████████: Holy shit.
Dr. ███████: Well, we're fucked now.
SCP-682: You know why that is, son?
Dr. ███████: …What the-
SCP-682: Cause now I be layin' down some rhymes.
SCP-011: Yo shit son, me and my homey 682 about to lay it down.
SCP-682: Pick up the beat, 011.
SCP-011: (Begins beat-boxing)
SCP-682: The call me a reptile,
But I'm about to smile,
I'ma beat yo ass,
Cause I got some class,
Now listen as I shout,
173 I'ma callin' you out!
SCP-173: Oh shit! Son, you goin' down.
Researcher ██████████: Did 173 just talk?
SCP-070: Of course he talked son.
SCP-173: Yo, thanks homey.
SCP-070: No probs big guy. Us metals gotta stick together.
SCP-173: Yo, pick up the beat 890.
SCP-890: (Begins beat boxing)
SCP-173: Man, I really gotta say fuck you,
You think you're all hot 682?
Hard to destroy? More like hard-on in your ass,
Fuck you man, I don't need any class.
Take it 746
SCP-746: Yo, reptile, don't be bird brained,
Your ass is weak and your rhymes are lame,
You're going down bud, we got this place on lock down,
Poor little dragon ain't gonna stop us now.
Dr. ███████: Y'know, technically that didn't rhyme.
SCP-682: Yeah, this filthy beast knows what he's talkin' 'bout. (Bites off Dr. ███████'s head).
SCP-507: Yo, 682, lemme take on these bitches.
SCP-682: If you think you can, man.
SCP-507: Yo, you bitch, you're so girly that you're purple,
You guys are so bad you- (Disappears into another dimension)
SCP-173: Yo man, your team's so pussy they hop dimensions just to get away.
Agent ████████: Ooooohhhh!
SCP-682: Fuck you man. 507 was my homey, man.
SCP-173: Get the fuck outta here, man, before I cap yo ass.
SCP-682: This ain't over. (Heads back to containment tank)
SCP-746: Yo, we took him down. Represent!
SCP-173: Now y'all agents remember that today we took down 682 and his posse.
Reseracher ██████████: (Mouth hanging open)
SCP-173: We out.
(All SCPs return to their cells)
<End Log>
Yo, that's fucked up man. Fucking Euclids. - SCP-076-2
Archives
 |
| SCP-XXX upon discovery |
Item #: SCP-XXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be held in Containment Locker 37 at Site-19. Access may be granted by the current Site Director.
Description: SCP-XXX is a Welte brand Reproduction style player piano. When SCP-XXX is activated, it produces an environment reminiscent of early silent films. These effects spread to a maximum radius of 982 meters, however the range of effect may be controlled by SCP-XXX's volume dial. This effect will cease one SCP-XXX's music sheet ends. This music sheet is interchangeable with other compatible ones, and the effect may be extended to up to two hours. The music SCP-XXX creates is broadcast throughout the radius of effect. No other sound besides this can be produced within the radius.
Any light within the radius of effect loses all colour, causing only shades to be visible. The architecture of buildings may become more exaggerative (e.g. large buildings may gain decorative angels and become taller, small houses may become villas or cottages). Modern technology will be transformed into early age counterparts, or, if the item did not exist around the 1920s era, it will be transformed into a fantastic or impossible object (Dr. ██████████'s personal laptop changed into a large metal mechanism with hydraulic arms labelled "Dr. ██████████'s Calculation Machine". The object made several sounds however the output was indecipherable). Advertisements and decorative features will change to become era appropriate. Subjects gain clothing expressive of their occupation or situation. Subjects also tend to show much more exaggerative expressions and actions, as well as a larger tendency to be mischievous or aggressive.
Probability manipulation also appears to take place; objects such as vaults or pianos will generally fall from ropes or windowsills, in spite of no plans for said objects to be moved. While subjects tend to be caught in such accidents, no recorded instances of subjects dying from accidents have been recorded. However, ~23% of subjects require medical care, and show a tendency to obtain obtrusive casts or bandages in several areas of the body, even when obtaining care outside of the radius of effect.
 |
| An advertisement removed from SCP-XXX's radius. Was originally a poster advertising "Coke Zero". |
Objects or subjects removed from the radius of effect retain their lack of colouration and are unable to produce sound. However, subjects will actively resist being removed from the radius. These effects do not take place if the radius shrinks due to a change in SCP-XXX's "volume".
Subjects entering the radius after SCP-XXX has been activated will produce colour and will be met with hostility by subjects within the radius. Although initially this may simply be "slapstick" violence, lethal acts such as dropping a large weight on the subject or forcing the subject into a vehicle and driving off a cliff will occur following prolonged exposure. While already affected subjects survive such acts, new subjects will invariably die. Subjects show no remorse for these acts while SCP-XXX is still activated.
Addendum XXX-1: Incident Report XXX-5:
SCP Involved: SCP-XXX
Personnel Involved: Site-19 Security Staff
Date: ██/██/19██
Location: Site-19
Description: During an attempted attack on Site-19 by Chaos Insurgency operatives, SCP-XXX was accidentally activated during a retreat into the containment locker area. Site-19 was encapsulated by SCP-XXX's radius of effect. Security staff immediately gained the uniform of an English "bobby", and were armed with nightsticks and small Glocks. Conversely, Chaos Insurgency operatives were dressed as traditional cat burglars, with assorted handguns. The two parties engaged each other approximately 10 minutes after SCP-XXX's activation. Instead of usual tactics, both parties engaged in direct one-on-one combat. SCP-XXX appeared to have an effect on the engagement. Some examples of SCP-XXX assisted maneuvers include: Security Head ██████████ making an operative follow his hand movements before poking the operative in both eyes, Agent █████ ramming an operative onto the ground, where the operative got his head stuck in a paint can, and Agent ██████████████ shaking a champagne bottle and hitting an operative with the cork. Unfortunately, Agent ████████ suffered several broken limbs following an operative "accidentally" hitting Agent ████████ with a jalopy. Aside from Agent ████████ being sent to Site Medical, no other casualties were sustained.
Item #: SCP-733
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-733-1 and its surrounding building, when not being tested, are to be locked. The building containing SCP-733-2 is to be monitored by two (2) security personnel. Instances of SCP-733-2 are to be monitored by closed-circuit camera. Once SCP-733-2 has finished, he or she is to be retrieved and interviewed by Dr. ████████████
Description: SCP-733-1 is the northwestern corner of the ██████ Schoolhouse in ████, Nevada. The schoolhouse is comprised of one square room with no windows and a sloping roof. The room is completely unfurbished, having been cleaned out by the Foundation after acquisition. All other corners in the room show no anomalous properties.
Whenever any human steps within a one meter radius of SCP-733-1, they will be drawn towards the corner and face it, standing perfectly still. All attempts to remove the subject (designated SCP-733-2) are unsuccessful. Tests performed on SCP-733-2 show that their metabolisms have significantly slowed, and they do not appear to require water or nourishment. The time spent as SCP-733-2 is highly variable, ranging from 5 minutes to ██ years.
Once SCP-733-2 exits SCP-733-1, they invariably report that they were capable of doing so because they had "repented" for an immoral act they had committed at some point in the past. The act repented for appears to be a completely random one, both in terms of its nature and of the time it was committed. Subjects also report that they do not instinctively know that they need to repent, and periods of ██ years have passed before SCP-733-2 has realized it must repent.
Addendum-001: SCP-733-1 came into possession of the Foundation in 18██, at which time Dr. ████████ had gone with his child for "Parent Teacher Interviews". Once Dr. ████████ arrived at the schoolhouse, he discovered the teacher (designated SCP-733-2) standing in SCP-733-1. In spite of attempts to move SCP-733-2, Dr. ████████ was unable to start the interview.
Dr. ████████ returned the following day with his child to confront SCP-733-2. However, the teacher had already left SCP-333-1. Following Dr. ████████'s child making a snide comment about the teacher's behaviour the previous day, the child was sent into SCP-733-1. Dr. ████████ proceeded with the interview. Once the interview had finished, Dr. ████████ asked his child to leave SCP-733-1. Having become SCP-733-2, the child did not leave.
Dr. ████████ examined SCP-733-1, and then reported it to the Foundation. The child remained as SCP-733-2 for ██ years.
Item #: SCP-431
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Should be kept in a safe humid environment. Somewhere like a greenhouse. SCP-431's skin should be kept moist and shouldn't be exposed to temperature of below -7 degrees Fahrenheit, and above 153 degrees Fahrenheit. SCP-431 should not be loaded at any time for any reason other than testing supervised by Dr.█████. Keep SCP-431 hooked up to a generator so it doesn't stop beating and die. Should be tested once a week. For safety reasons No one except Dr.█████, Dr.███████ , and Dr.███████, should be allowed in the testing area.
Description: SCP-431 is what appears to be a mass of slimy skin similar to that of a salamander. The skin has slightly visible veins that pulsate rapidly in mid fire. SCP-431 was found somewhere in the Bridgewater triangle [a small area in Massachusetts known for alien activity and even bigfoot sightings]. It's very reminiscent, but not identical, to the hornet gun from Half-life, a first person shooter released in 1998. It's firing mechanism is very interesting, because a piston like mass of collagen inside of it push out do to the surging blood, and propel the ammunition forward (or in a very sad case backwards). The ammunition can be anything you can fit into the barrel orifice, sort of like a blunderbuss. Things that have been used include animal droppings, animals, water balloons, Dr.███████'s neighbors lawn gnomes, and rocks.
Addendum:
Shooting accuracy test results:
1 inch of diameter: Extremely accurate.
1 cm of diameter: Very accurate.
1 mm of diameter: Target destroyed results not recorded.
Speed test results:
Speed clocked at an impressive maximum of nearly 9,042 fps.
Description by Dr.███████
> It sort of reminds me of H.R. Gigers art.
Item #: SCP-635
Object Class: Safe Keter
Special Containment Procedures:Keep in air-tight chamber. Do not let any personnel play with game.
Description: SCP-635 is a seemingly normal game of Diplomacy . SCP-635 was discovered in 19██, but carbon dating reveals that it has existed since the early Crecateous, despite Diplomacy being released in 1959. Moves made with the included "Armies" and "Fleets" are inexplicably made by world governments simultaneously. SCP-635 is believed to be fully responsible for World War 1 and countless other ancient wars. SCP-635 also appears to change the image on the board upon movement to a different location. Different nationalities have reported it being written in their own language when another reports it is written in another. It is currently being held in [DATA EXPUNGED]
Addendum: SCP-635 has been discovered to be responsible for the Trojan War. Object class upped to Keter from Safe.
RhettSarlin: Welp. Ladies and gents, I think we have a contender for best SCP article of all time. Let's give up and go home.
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Dr Djoric: I concur. It should be copy-pasted to the "How to Write an SCP" page so that all may learn from its example.
Seriously, this is either legitimate, which saddens me, or very troll, which is merely irritating but also sad in that it is not even a good attempt.
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Sorts: goodness gracious a board game that is responsible for real world events such a thing has never been written in the history of ever
---
Salman Corbette:
"Addendum: SCP-635 has been discovered to be responsible for the Trojan War. Object class upped to Keter from Safe."
This made so much sense I downvoted.
---
Sorts:
hahahahah I missed that.
That is some *good* trolling.
---
Salman Corbette: See also:
==ORDERS FROM O5-7==
"Keep in air-tight chamber. Do not let any personnel play with game."
--
Sorts: the only way it could have been better is if it was upped from Keter to Safe.
--
Salman Corbette: I thought they had done that for a second and laughed
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Shebleha: Wow, it's things like this that…
You know? I've lost all will to rant.
--
Bland: …and he joined six hours before posting this…
If it was offensive I'd request staff consider forgoing the 24 hour period.
-—
Voct: Hey, is that a steaming pile of horseshit?
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Bland: No - a steaming pile of horseshit can be used to make things grow!
-—
pooryoric: Ahaha. Get the fuck out.
---
soullesshuman: No no, I find this funny, just as funny as the slenderman article.
Someone grab me my gun. I am so amused by this article I feel my life is complete and want to end it.
SCP-753 where it was discoveredItem #: SCP-753
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-753 is to be kept in a 2 metre by 2 metre room. SCP-753 should not have any contact with living creatures unless authorized by O5 for testing. The halls outside the room are to be monitored should any organisms approach the room.
Description: SCP-753 is a hand held radio that looks similar to an HT-78A. It functions as a normal hand radio except when it is brought near a living organism. If an organism approaches SCP-753 within 1.5 metres of it, it begins to emit white noise. The white noise will increase in frequency and volume as organisms get closer to SCP-753. However, when the SCP is picked up, the white noise will cease. It will still emit the white noise as organisms approach the user with the same radius as if it was not carried.
Item #: SCP-832
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-832 is harmless as long as kept away from skin and electrical applications, even a zip lock bag has been noted to protect effectively from SCP-832's abnormal 'over charge'.
Description:
A1- Found by accident 12 times before recovery it is simply a ring made out of bronze. There is no visible differences in the ring other than a "H.T" marked on the inside of SCP-832. They are assumed to be initials but there is not enough information to know what the name would be and if the owner is even still alive. The ring seems to react differently depending on the mental state of the wearer when they first put it on and what they are thinking about to some degree, then amplifying that emotion into a abnormal rage, along with either boosting their own abilities or giving them a power. Details of each test to be included in R.R.T file 03
B1- Red/Anger- Super human Strength, the test subject who was used for this was able to lift a 3 ton car without harming themselves.
Blue/Bored- The subject tested suddenly wished to get rid of their boredom to a disturbing degree, murdering the scientist who was with him at the time, as well as 2 guards before he was killed, the test subject who put on SCP-832 seemed faster, and the test subjects blood stayed blue for about three minutes after he had died before finally turning red.
Blue/Bored The subject tested suddenly wished to get rid of their boredom to a disturbing degree, murdering the scientist who was with him at the time, Dr █████ as well as 2 D class guards before he was killed, the test subject who put on SCP-832 seemed faster, and his blood was noticed to have been blue for about three minutes after he had died before finally turning red.
White/Hungry- Originally a test on "Happy" the test subject when first putting on SCP-832 announced being "fuckin' hungry" then attempting to eat the desk that he pulled SCP-832 off. The test subject's teeth became "shark" and easily ripped through the stainless steel table. The test subject's blood was tested as inspiration from the blue blood of the last test, and it was in fact white for exactly three minutes outside of the body, the blood inside the test subject returned to its normal shade in a half hour.
Green/Sick- Inspired by the oddity of the failed "Happy" test a sick person who was instructed to think of their sickness was given the SCP-832 at which point, they started to swell, and before the ring could be removed they exploded, their bones shattering and impaling the all around them.
Green/Sick- Inspired by the oddity of the failed "Happy" test a "sick" subject who was instructed to think of their sickness, which was a minor flu, was given the SCP-832 at which point, they started to swell, and before the ring could be removed they exploded, their bones shattering and impaling the area around them.
[Orange/Drunk, Pink/Happy, and Black/Insane as well other test noted on R.R.T file 03]
A2- At [DATA EXPUNGED] a large collection of families were attempting a search and rescue [DATA EXPUNGED] A mother was reported for the murder of seven children [DATA EXPUNGED] A gas explosion caught the local population, killing half the residence. In short, SCP-832 seems to have a long bloody history in the 2 years SCP has been aware of it and attempting to find it. As a noted oddity it seems that before the wearer "overloads" they will try to return to the original beach where the ring was found.
A3-While it is believed more than 12 people have been subject to the power of SCP-832 as the location after excavating appears to have several bone fragments, the quality's of SCP-832 make it hard to know if they were to one or more people.
R.R.T file 03 [Data not yet compiled.]
Item #: SCP-985
Object class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Acces to SCP-985 is to be restricted under the cover of a malfunction. Only with a clearence of level 3 or higher SCP-985 can be used for research.
In the event that a research is granted, the personnel that enters SCP-985 and SCP-985-1 have to wear a head camera or a radio transmitter, and a data transfer device. Is it recomended that unless one (1) armed guard wait in the elevator prepared to confront SCP-985-2.(See Addendum 985-IV).
 |
| SCP-985 out of order |
Description: SCP-985 is one (1) of the three (3) elevators located in ███████ building, in Buenos Aires, Argentina. The elevators have ten (10) floors although SCP-985 have an extra floor button that the other two elevators doesn't have: 1E (SCP-985-1). Although, this button doesn't work, every 314 floors that SCP-985 travels it stop at floor 1E, between floor 1 and 2, and open its door as if someone have called the elevator, showing SCP-985-1 with its lights out.
SCP-985-1 is an office aparment that have a Superville bank plate on the wall near the entrance, although Superville bank denied being aware of such property.
Upon research, SCP-985-1 is a normal office aparment, conformed by many cubicules and offices. SCP-985-1 have its lights out, but when a light switch is activated it turns on two(2) randoms lights with very low ilumination and three (3) random computers. There are old computers, from around year 2001, with Windows 98 installed. Each time SCP-985-1 is visited the computers present differents files.
After examinating the building, it was discovered that there is no 1E, there isn't even a door in the elevator shaft to such floor.
SCP-985-1 is inhabitated by a creature of a unknown shape, SCP-985-2, although there have being suggestions that SCP-985-2 is SCP-985-1 itself. SCP-985-2 is a sentient being, it have the ability of talking, understanding human emotions and changing its shape, if it has one. For more information regarding SCP-985-2 behavior see Addendums.
Note: Because SCP-985 is located in a spanish speaking country every text or file inside SCP-985-1 is found in spanish, the personnel perfoming the test and SCP-985-2 are spanish speakers too, so everything was translated to english.
Addendum 985-I
Addendum 985-I:
Test directed by Dr. Partaso ███████ under the autorization of level 4 Dr. ███████.
Two D-class personnel, D-4376 and D-4576(refered as John), were sent with a radio transmitter and two (2) flashlights, D-4376 had the radio transmitter. This is the transmition from D-4376 with Dr. Partaso.
D-4376:Okay Doc, we are on the 10th floor, what now?
Dr. Partaso:Please, press the 0 button and come back here.
D-4376:Only that Doc? Well, okay, we are coming back. Uh-oh.
Dr. Partaso: What is the problem?
D-4376:Well, the elevator stopped at floor 1E. It's pretty dark here.
Dr. Partaso: Please, enter the floor.
D-4376: Okay Doc, we entered to the floor, wait, WAIT!! Damn, the elevator left. We are in complete darkness. I'm using the flashlight
Dr. Partaso: Please, describe me everything you see.
D-4376:Well, it's an old office. Everything is off, lights and computers. Here, John found a light switch, do we turn it off or do you want us in this creepy darkness?
Dr. Partaso: You are allowed to turn on the lights if desired, describe everything that happens after you do that.
D-4376: OKay, we turned on the lights, only two lights turned on, all the rest are off. Three computers turned on, also.
Dr. Partaso: Is there any text in the computer or a note? Something that proves that the office was functional in a time?
D-4376:John is checking one of them, I'll go to the back, to check the offices.(18 seconds later) This one has it's door closed.
Dr. Partaso: Can you see what is inside?
D-4376: The curtains are closed, but I believe I can see something, yeah, there is something inside, it looks like someone is lying, or sleeping on the desk, I'm going to help him.
Dr. Partaso: Please, before you intend to get in, describe the person inside.
D-4376: I don't know, is pretty dark there, but I'm a 100% sure it is a man. I'll look for John, I need help. John, JOHN!!
D-4376 keeps looking for D-4576 for five minutes aproximately, before he cease in his search.
D-4376: Doc, I believe he isn't here, maybe he went to the restroom, I'm checking there.
[DATA EXPUNGED]
D-4376: Oh God…
Dr. Partaso: What happened?
D-4376: The floor is covered in blood, and, there seems to be some message in the mirror.
Dr. Partaso: Please read it out loud.
D-4376: "Look in #3". What the hell is that suppose to mean?
Dr. Partaso: Maybe it refers to the toilet stalls. Check the third please.
D-4376: I don't know Doc, I just want to get the hell out of here now.
Dr. Partaso: Is the blood on the floor dry?
D-4376: Yes, does that matter?
Dr. Partaso: It means that whatever happened there, it was a long time ago, enough for the blood to dry, so there is nothing to be worry about. So, please proced to the third stall.
D-4376: I don't want to go there Doc.
Dr. Partaso: Remember our agreement.
D-4376: Eh.. okay. I'm near the stall. I'm opening it.
Dr. Partaso: Describe what's inside.
D-4376 doesn't anwer, although it can be heard him breathing strongly.
Dr. Partaso: Hello? Are you still there D-4376?
D-4376: OH GOD! OH GOD!
Dr. Partaso: What happened?
D-4376: John, he is… he is…
Dr. Partaso: He is what?
D-4376: HE IS DEAD. His body is all destroyed and his head was inside the toilet, oh god, I have to get out of here.
Dr. Partaso: Please take this calmly. I still need you to tell what's inside the computers before you leave.
D-4376 take a deep breath, and stay quiet.
Dr. Partaso: Please, D-4376, check one of the computers.
D-4376:(whispering) It can't be. Why? How? When? No, no, I have to get out of here
Dr. Partaso: What happened? Please tell me.
D-4376: The door to the closed office, the one with the man sleeping.
Dr. Partaso: What's about it?
D-4376: It's open.
Dr. Partaso: Could you check the inside the office?
D-4376: After what happened to John? Never, I'm getting the hell out of here.
Dr. Partaso: D-4376, if you refuse to obey and come here, you'll be terminated.
D-4376: I don't care, I prefer a bullet in the brain than that.
Dr. Partaso: Well, then it's up to you. At least describe us how you get out.
D-4376: I'm calling the elevator, it's coming, 5th floor, 4th floor, 3th floor, Oh God, I hear a noise from the offices, c'mon! 2nd floor, it's here.(The elevator doors opens) No way, God, (D-4376 screams) NO NO NO NO PLEASE DON'T DO-.
A strange sound, similar to a huge amount of voices yelling can be heard, after that, it's heard the sound of a body, probably D-4376, hitting the floor.
Dr. Partaso: D-4376, are you still there?(A strange noise is heard) Answer me! Are you still there?!?
The radio transmiter is lift up, and a breath is heard through the transmiter.
Dr. Partaso: D-4376, are you still there? Please respond.
Unknown voice: Of course he is.
Audio feeds cut out, and no reconnection is reestablished.
When the elevator comes back [REDACTED]
[[>]]
[[/>]]
Item #: SCP-834
Object Class: Euclid/Keter
Special Containment Procedures: A world-wide campaign to limit the spread of SCP-834 is currently in place. However, personnel are required to note any instances of SCP-834 they spot, in the hopes that this will aid our efforts. To this end, notebooks have been issued to all personnel. The Foundation's captive flock is to be kept in an aviary, allocation one (1) cubic metre of space per bird. As of the writing of the current containment procedures, the Foundation's flock numbers ███ members. This number should remain stable and is expected to fall due to the removal of fertilised eggs and the use of the Foundation's captive flock as a food source. Accidental terminations suffered by wild instances of SCP-834 should also be recorded.
 |
| One instance of SCP-834. |
Description: SCP-834 is a species of bird, specifically
Columba livia. All instances of SCP-834 recorded have been in urban areas. This does not, however, necessarily indicate a lack of SCP-834 in rural areas. All field agents should be on the lookout for any instances they spot, and these should be reported as soon as possible to avoid the potential for a population explosion.
SCP-834 breeds incessantly, often outstripping food resources to the point of extinction. In the event of an area being stripped of all food sources, instances of SCP-834 will flock, leaving the area for a more hospitable zone. SCP-834 appears to have a psychic effect when in large numbers, causing humans to feed them, even neglecting their own welfare in extreme cases. Fortunately, this effect appears to be limited to flocks of over ███ for 100% saturation, although at lower numbers more susceptible humans may be affected. This effect has been noted in such diverse locations as █████████ ██████, in ██████, Britain and ██████ ████, in ████████, Australia. It has also been noted to affect extermination attempts, and has, in addition, caused legislation to be passed in several locations.
Addendum: It's been mentioned before, and there's a note up on the door, but we're only going to give you a new notebook if the old one is full! We do check the number of pages as well, so no tearing them out! - Dr ███████
 |
| Current appearance |
Item #: SCP-857
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Impossible. For convenience's sake, the physical object suspected of manifesting SCP-857 is to be stored on a shelf in a locked glass-fronted cabinet in Dr. █████'s office in Site-████. A web-cam is to be trained on SCP-857 at all times, monitored by security personnel (or anybody else who feels like it). Even this minimal level of security is likely useless in terms of containing it. Regardless, it needs to be observed with something approaching reverence at all times in a probably futile attempt to prevent it leaving the facility. When Dr. █████'s office is not in use, personnel may make use of it to directly observe SCP-857 as opposed to relying upon the webcam. Individuals who fall into obsession concerning SCP-857 need to be reminded of the spiritual nature of approaching it - a Quest, so to speak. If unsure, check with an alchemist.
Anyone wishing to make use of the object suspected of being SCP-857 for either research, religious or personal reasons will apply through [redacted]. Religious groups should be scheduled on different days in order to avoid conflict. If a group is large, the cabinet may be rolled to a room of sufficient seating capacity, then returned to Dr. █████'s office upon completion of activities. Note that SCP-857 must be observed at all times (see above) to prevent its migration to another physical object. If an observer begins to behave oddly, becomes ill, explodes or otherwise manifests unsavory effects to exposure to SCP-857, he or his remains should be removed to the nearest medical facility for physical (and if appropriate) psychiatric evaluation. Termination is unnecessary as if this was warranted, it would already have occurred. For this reason, keep SCP-857 well away from SCP-293.
If anyone, SCP personnel or otherwise, reaches the conclusion that a different physical object now manifests SCP-857, this is to be confirmed using Procedure 857-032 and the new SCP-857 should replace it. The old SCP-857 may be discarded, kept for research or memorabilia, or donated to a requesting religious (or not) group. A log (Addendum 857-01) will be maintained of its various manifestations.
Description: SCP-857's descriptions come down to us over the millenia from a variety of sources, primarily literary with a religious bent. No two descriptions match. This had baffled scholars for generations until it was discovered that SCP-857 is not an object per se but a Jungian archetype made real. SCP-857-ness is mutable and transfers between physical objects, hence the drastic divergence of opinion as to its appearance, behavior and location. There are several physical objects with current claims to be SCP-857, having previously shown behavior resembling it. Some of them may very well have manifested SCP-857 at some time or another. There is no evidence one way or another that they could not be SCP-857 in the future. (Note - English lacks many parts of speech useful for this style of discussion and few SCP employees know sufficient Greek or Aramaic for discussion in those languages to be helpful)
The manifestation of SCP-857 is not limited to any one specific object, merely a single object at a time (as far as can be ascertained). This tends to be an object used for imbibing liquid or dispensing food, current to the time, place and circumstances. This can be as ornate as a bejewelled goblet and as simple as a stone cup. This is not a hard-and-fast rule as it could manifest as a dish, plate, cauldron or stone or even further afield such as a pillar of fire, burning bush or bright, laser-like white light. Researcher [REDACTED] claims to have observed it in this specific manifestation in Grade 9 science class. Her sanity is under debate.
It is fairly widely held that the first manifestation of SCP-857 was the shared cup used by the historical religious figure Jesus Christ and his disciples at the Last Supper. This was possibly hosted by Joseph of Arimathea, thus making him the original owner of the original object manifested as SCP-857. It is also somewhat held that this cup was also present at the crucifixion of said Jesus Christ and was used to collect blood and water emanating from a wound caused by the Spear of Longinus (not currently in SCP's possession but displayed in Hofburg Museum in Vienna, Austria). It is held by some that this or a ritual at the Last Supper may have been the event creating SCP-857. Given that it appears to be a Jungian archetype, it is more likely that SCP-857 has always been in existence and this is merely the first (but see below) documented manifestation. (Again, this would make more sense in Greek.)
This view is disputed by those positing earlier manifestations of SCP-857, referencing information from Celtic, Roman, Greek and other sources. Most of these address the positive aspects of SCP-857. It has been compared to or even identified as the "Horn of Plenty", the "Cauldron of Plenty of Dagda and the Tribe of Anu", and the "Holy Grail" a source of healing and rebirth (both physical and spiritual). Note that the Philosopher's Stone, (see SCP-349) while having similar characteristics, is a different, immutable object. Drinking from the cup, if that is how it is manifested, may cure disease and/or grant immortality (note the dark side below - it is suspected that the Fisher King may have been granted the latter without the former), or merely dispense or render safe or palatable sufficient foodstuff and/or drink to those nearby requiring it. It may be necessary to prime the pump to enable the desired effect. WARNING - under no circumstances use blood or blood by-products
Few descriptions of SCP-857 address its dark side (it would hardly be a Jungian archetype without its shadow). An attempt to use SCP-857 for worldly, nefarious or even trivial purposes can be deadly, hence its Euclid classification. At best its effects in this vein can be described as "be careful what you wish for", "may you live an 'interesting' life" (that being a curse) and at worst wholesale destruction of cities civilizations , entire planets or stars . The depiction in the movie [REDACTED] while wildly inaccurate, may serve as a cogent warning.
SCP-857 tends to manifest itself where it is needed, bound by few or no constraints (other than unity). The fact that it appears to remain at the Site-████ facility begs questions too philosophical to address here, whether it be blessing or blessing in disguise.
SCP-857 was discovered on an abandoned cafeteria table in [REDACTED], its previous user having fled, shouting "I'm cured, I'm cured". After a brief struggle, SCP-857 was recovered by Dr. █████ and transported to a secure laboratory for testing. Its original Keter classification was reduced to Euclid more for budgetary reasons than anything else. Rumours that this was done for fear of "pissing it off" are false.
Procedure 857-032: Procedure for identifying current SCP-857
Arrange for observation of SCP-857 by several trained personnel (or anyone else suitable available) either remotely (eg. by webcam) or behind blast-proof shielding. Expose one mildly offensive D-class subject to SCP-857 and observe resulting ill effects (if any). Clean up resulting mess if necessary. Failure here may indicate either an innocuous object, a different SCP-class object, sufficient spirituality in the D-class subject to avoid adverse effects or subject is a thief and apparently immune. Repeat with more offensive subject. Due to sensitivities of both sexes and [REDACTED], avoid using rapists or child molesters for subjects at all costs.
Expose one spiritual subject to SCP-857 and observe results. A positive outcome is about the best we have for proof of manifestation of SCP-857 in the test object. A negative outcome may indicate a different SCP object in play or that the second subject isn't as spiritual as originally thought. Repeat if necessary.
Addendum 857-001: Manifestations since acquisition by SCP
SCP-857 was originally identified following reports of a magical water cooler just inside the entrance to Building-C at Site-████. As word spread, the area became disruptive to the point where it had to be cordoned off at which point rioting broke out. The next person drinking from the water cooler discovered the "magic was gone". A few days later a coffee pot on the third floor began dispensing an elixir that granted perfect attention span and other benefits. The scenario was repeated. The effect spread to other commonplace items including a variety of glasses, coffee cups, and one memorable evening, the New Year's Eve punch bowl. When that was broken in a scuffle, the current SCP-857 was identified, rescued and spirited under guard to a laboratory for testing, then to Dr. █████'s office where it remains.
Item #: SCP-949
Class: Euclid
Containment procedures: SCP-949 is to be kept in a 3 room cell with standard furnishings for an apartment. The subject is not allowed any sharp objects or anything capable of being used to cause harm to himself or others due to expressed suicidal tendencies. Due to the nature of the subject, he is not allowed anything that he could use to transmit sensitive information. Any other objects requested are to be provided pending approval from a level 4 personnel. The subject is to have at least one (1) level 3 security personnel monitoring it at all times through a closed circuit camera inside each room of the cell. Class D personnel are not to come in contact with SCP-949 due to the possibility of increase in violent or suicidal behavior.
Description: SCP-949 is a Caucasian male of approximately 40 years of age. He lost the right eye in a suicide attempt, and the subject has various scars about his person, most self inflicted. SCP-949 instantly learns the ‘secrets’ (classified here as any information a person would not be willing to divulge if questioned about the topic) of any sapient being within a 1.5 m radius around him. This extends to information that the victim has forgotten, but would not be willing to reveal if he/she still remembered. The subject claims to be unable to control this ability. The only known way to prevent SCP-949 from learning a piece of information is for the person he would be learning it from to be completely willing to tell him if asked about the topic in question. He is also able to draw conclusions using information taken from the victim, even if the victim has not realized such conclusions themselves. SCP-949's mind appears to force out older information in order to make space for new secrets. He has forgotten his real name, place of origin, birthday, and can not remember anything before his 25th birthday (he remembers the party, but not the date). The subject shows no adverse reaction to being referred to by his number.
SCP-949 will switch between three basic personality profiles, seemingly at random. The first and most common is that of a kind, if some what troubled, middle-aged man, who quite innocently seems to know almost everything about you. SCP-949 is generally cooperative with researchers when in this profile. The second is what the staff working with the subject has dubbed the “cruel joker” profile. The subject appears to take amusement by taunting anyone in his vicinity regarding their most embarrassing memory or sharing their secrets with other personnel nearby for no discernable reason (See Interview 949-01). The subject has also been observed taking similar action against those who have done him a perceived injustice. During this time, his speech takes on a much more sarcastic and condescending tone. The third profile involves the subject drawing into himself, making no communication with anyone or reacting to external stimuli. During these times, the subject must be even more closely monitored as suicide attempts are more probable. The subject is sometimes heard repeating simple phrases under his breath while in this profile, but no correlation has been observed between the phrases he has repeated.
Origin: According to the subject and records from the ████████ mental institution in █████, ██, the subject admitted himself to the institution in 19██ under a false name, claiming to have [Data Expunged]. In the asylum, the subject purposely instigated fights with other patients until placed in solitary confinement, where he remained for most of his stay. Doctors noted that he displayed few of the symptoms associated with the condition he claimed to have. The Foundation became aware of SCP-949 when one of the orderlies submitted a complaint about psychological abuse perpetrated by the subject. She alleged that the subject "knew her deepest secrets and tried to share them with the world". Further research exposed several records of similar complaints filed for similar reasons. Subject was taken into Foundation custody October ██, 19██. Asylum personnel were administered a class B amnesiac, and told that the subject had died and removed from the asylum during the previous night. SCP-949 is currently being held at Site-17
Interview 949-01
Interviewed: SCP-949
Interviewer: Dr. ███
Foreword: The following interview was conducted to test SCP-949’s capabilities and, if possible, discover a way to circumvent them.
<Begin Log>
Dr. ███: Hello 949, I am Dr. ███ and I’m going to be asking you a few questions.
SCP-949: Nice to meet you doctor.
Dr. ███: So, 949, let’s get to business shall we? How many children do I have?
SCP-949: (Short silence) Well doctor, you’re awfully forthcoming about your personal info, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you, because I don’t know.
Dr. ███: But I thought you were a telepath…
SCP-949: I fear you may have misunderstood what I can do. I can’t tell you that but I can tell you that your oldest son is currently [Data Expunged]
Dr. ███: What…? How did you –
SCP-949 (Tone has shifted, become condescending) Secrets, Doctor. It’s not what you want me to know, it’s what you don’t. Now, I would like to be returned to my quarters.
Dr. ███: What? No, no. We’re not done here.
SCP-949: (Disappointed sigh, followed by a light chuckle) Doctor, are you aware that your wife is cheating on you?
Dr. ███: That’s… that’s not true.
(Dr. ███ and SCP-949 argue on the subject for another ten minutes, with SCP-949 throwing insults about various family members and revealing ██ other embarrassing facts about Dr. ███.)
(Laughter is heard from SCP-949)
SCP-949 Open your eyes doctor. All the signs are there. Why a week ago, you [Data Expunged]. There is just too much to be ignored, there really is no other possibility.
Dr. ███: (Shakily) You don’t know what you’re talking about.
SCP-949: (Amused chuckle) Trust me Doctor. I know what I’m talking about.
(Sound of a chair being pushed back forcefully)
Dr. ███: Why you arrogant little [Expletive Deleted]. (Yelling) I’ll kill you!
(At this point, the two guards stationed outside came in and subdued Dr. ███, who continued yelling threats until SCP-949 was removed from the room. Testimony from one of them reports that SCP-949 remained calm throughout the incident, and reportedly looked “greatly amused” by the situation of Dr. ███.)
SCP-949: (Upon being taken away) It was a pleasure meeting you Doctor, and I quite enjoyed our chat. I hope to speak with you again some time.
<End Log>
Closing Statement: Dr. ███ was subjected to two months of psychological evaluation before being deemed fit to return to duty. He was transferred to Site-██.
 |
| Hole created by SCP-XXX when subject attempted to flee over wall during testing |
Item #: SCP-XXX
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be kept in containment locker XXX. It is not to be removed without written permission from personnel of clearance level four (4) or higher.
Description: SCP-XXX is an unmarked regulation size-5 Association football (soccer) ball. SCP-XXX is not immune to damage but is apparently self-repairing and self-inflating. Currently SCP-XXX's means of self-propulsion are unknown.
SCP-XXX acts as a regular ball until it is given momentum by the foot of any human or animal. SCP-XXX will then proceed to bludgeon the subject that has kicked it at speeds of up to 272 kilometers per hour. SCP-XXX has not been shown to stop until such time as the subject's heart stops beating. SCP-XXX will then return to its dormant state.
 |
| Subject placed on other side of steel wall. Damage seen created within 15 seconds of release. |
Item #: SCP-893
Object Class: Safe
Special Confinement Procedures: Subject is to be kept in a secure standard humanoid containment cell. He is to be given a fresh set of surgical bandages every day so that he can cover his entire skin. SCP-893 has permission to leave his cell at the designated times, but has never expressed a desire to do so. He is to be provided with books, movies, magazines, etc. upon request. Internet access remains disallowed. More unusual requests are to be cleared with Prof. ███████ before being granted.
Employees entering the subject's cell are required to announce their presence before entering; previous failures to do this have resulted in severe panic and agitation in the subject. Furthermore, no employee is to enter SCP-893's confinement cell alone.
Description: SCP-893 is a 29 year old Caucasian male named C██████ M█████ from the Australian city of ███████. The subject is 183cm (6'0") tall, weighs 80kg (175lbs) and has an IQ of 108. He is physically healthy but completely hairless and unpigmented over his entire body, the result of his condition. Medical tests and scans have shown subtle electrolytic imbalances in his blood. SCP-893 is able to induce a trance-like state in anyone he touches. The subject has no control over his ability, which occurs at the instant of skin-to-skin contact with another human. Unusually for sentient SCPs the subject voluntarily delivered himself into Foundation custody, expressing a desire to escape from the "addicts" that [DATA EXPUNGED].
At the instant of contact, SCP-893's skin begins to burn with a silent, luminous, fluorescent green flame. The fire begins at the point of contact and spreads rapidly, engulfing the subject entirely in approximately 14 seconds. The flames then rapidly subside, having consumed 100% of SCP-893's skin. The subject reports that this process is extremely painful. Despite the effect on his epidermis, the fire does not affect his musculature or exposed non-skin body parts such as his eyes. There is no bleeding. The flames do not emit any detectable heat, and do not damage anything else that comes into contact with them.
Once the process is over, the subject heals with remarkable rapidity. The lost skin regenerates, beginning with the eyelids and spreading across the face and head in a matter of minutes. The regeneration proceeds with the same pace down the subject's neck, torso and arms, then the perineum and legs and concluding at the soles of his feet some 93 minutes after initial contact. This rapid recuperation does not occur for wounds incurred any other way; a small scalpel cut applied by Dr. █████████ took several days to heal and left a scar that remained until the next experiment.
D-class employees entering the trance state remained fully conscious throughout, but lost all awareness of their surroundings. This was accompanied by a feeling of intense happiness or euphoria, and vivid hallucinations that were described by one subject as being "like achieving all your ambitions and desires". Tests show activity in the brain and nervous system reminiscent of powerful hallucinogenic drugs while the subjects were in this state, though blood samples and tissue biopsies showed no abnormalities. The trance state persists with constant intensity for approximately 93 minutes, after which the recipients' perceptions instantly return to normal. Most test subjects have expressed an immediate desire for a second exposure.
 |
| Casualty during escape on [REDACTED] |
Item #: SCP-1000
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1000 is to be kept in a solitary cell at Site-05 and fed three times daily with standard prison-grade food. Any female visitors at Site-05 are to be kept away from SCP-1000's holding block.
Addendum 1000-B (09/09/18██): SCP-1000 is no longer to be served cutlery with his meals. Meals given to it will only be those that can be eaten by hands.
Addendum 1000-C (10/02/18██): SCP-1000 is no longer to be provided with a pen or paper at request. Any attempts made by SCP-1000 to write a letter will result in a withholding of food for three (3) days.
Addendum 1000-D (11/10/18██): SCP-1000 has been moved to Site-██, located in ██████████, Cleveland.
Addendum 1000-F (05/24/19██): Following containment breach 7, while female personnel are now permitted to work for the foundation, Site-██ is to strictly host male personnel, due to SCP-1000's increased ferocity when any female is present.
Description: SCP-1000 appears to be a white, young male. In-depth analyses shows a supernatural quality to SCP-1000. During phrenological examination of SCP-1000, the examiner's tools were thought to be faulty. Further examination showed that SCP-1000's skull and jawline were slowly shifting in shape, at a rate of up to one (1) inch of jaw length increase or decrease per day. As well, SCP-1000 has not aged since it was first studied.
SCP-1000 is extremely violent and frequently attempts to kill and then mutilate the corpses of young women. SCP-1000 has been assessed to have a greater knowledge than a normal person of human anatomy; however it is unknown if this is due to education or experience.
SCP-1000 was originally discovered by Agent Abberline and has been since held at Site-05, in ███████████ district, London. SCP-1000 has made several escape attempts.
Addendum 1000-A: Successful Escape Attempts by SCP-1000
08/30/188█ - SCP-1000 escaped. 1 civilian casualty sustained. Throat severed; Abdomen eviscerated.
09/08/188█ - SCP-1000 escaped. 1 guard killed. 1 civilian casualty sustained. Guard throat severed. Civilian throat severed twice; Civilian abdomen eviscerated; Uterus removed.
09/29/188█ - SCP-1000 escaped. 1 civilian casualty sustained. Interrupted during mutilation of corpse by agents. Throat severed.
09/30/188█ - SCP-1000 broke free during transportation to Site-05. 1 civilian casualty sustained. Face mutilated; Throat severed; Abdomen eviscerated; Left kidney removed; Uterus removed.
11/09/188█ - SCP-1000 escaped. 1 civilian casualty sustained. Face mutilated; Throat mutilated; Abdomen eviscerated; Small intestine removed; Large intestine removed; Uterus removed; Chest eviscerted; Heart removed.
11/21/189█ - SCP-1000 escaped. 4 guard casualties. All killed by a cut to the throat. Bodies had their shoulders crushed inwards and portions of the sides of their abdomens removed; possibly in an attempt to create a feminine shape.
05/07/192█ - SCP-1000 escaped. 1 personnel casualty. Throat severed; Abdomen eviscerated; Uterus removed.
Addendum 1000-E: A Note from Agent Abberline
In regards to SCP-1000's continued containment and status to the public,
In spite of several attempts by my own Scotland Yard to suppress information of SCP-1000 from being released to the public, the papers have become increasingly aggressive in gaining and sharing anything we discover; and it is my fear that any increased investigation may result in the discovery of our organization. Therefore I would like to propose SCP-1000's movement to Site-██. Even if another escape attempt would occur, he would would be unable to kill any civilians; And thus our "[REDACTED]" would stop receiving so much publicity.
In regards to those wishing to simply exterminate SCP-1000, I give these words: Although he may be a killer and a madman by all definitions of the term; SCP-1000 is still a medical marvel and as such can be researched so we can reproduce what he is able to do; Where he has killed only a few we can save many more.
Agent Abberline
==The Following Information is Only Available to Personnel of Security Level 2 or Higher==
Addendum 1000-1-A (03/10/191█):
Recently we were brought an interesting specimen from New Orleans that is similar to SCP-1000. His face constantly changes and he doesn't appear to age. As well, he has a very large thirst for blood. However, this taste seems to extend across both genders and several age groups. Our own find (now designated SCP-1000-1) has already killed 9 civilians. He is now being kept at Site-██, in ████████, Louisiana.
We fear there may be more than just these two out there, and all serial murders that occur from now are receiving direct Foundation investigation. I pray to god that these are only tricks of nature.
Director Johnson
Addendum 1000-1-B: Successful Escape Attempts by SCP-1000-1
08/10/191█: SCP-1000-1 escaped. One guard wounded. Attacked civilian. Civilian survived.
09/01/191█: SCP-1000-1 escaped. One civilian casualty. Severe head wounds.
10/26/191█: SCP-1000-1 escaped. One civilian casualty. Severe back wounds.
11/15/191█: SCP-1000-1 escaped, but remained on site. Murdered Agent Juliani with fire axe.
==Level 3 or Higher Clearance Necessary to View the Following==
Addendum SCP-1000-2-A (09/31/193█):
Increased investigation into another specimen similar to SCPs 1000 and 1000-1 has led me to believe that SCP-1000 and 1000-1 may be members of a new species. Further research is needed into the exact way this species survives.
Our newest specimen (designated SCP-1000-2) was found in Cleveland following six killings by himself. He sickens me to look at, no matter what his face is. I hope we can figure this out soon so I can personally terminate him.
Dr. Schneider
Addendum SCP-1000-2-B: Successful escape attempts by SCP-1000-2
06/05/193█: SCP-1000-2 broke containment. One civilian casualty. Decapitated; Rib removed.
12/21/193█: SCP-1000-2 broke containment. Three personnel injuries. One civilian casualty. Personnel all had legs removed. Civilian decapitated.
02/19/193█: SCP-1000-2 broke containment. One civilian casualty. Beheaded.
05/15/193█: SCP-1000-2 broke containment. One civilian casualty. Decapitated.
07/06/193█: SCP-1000-2 broke containment. One personnel casualty. One civilian casualty. Agent's arm removed; Beheaded. Civilian beheaded.
04/04/193█: SCP-1000-2 broke containment. One civilian casualty. Lower leg discovered by authorities. Rest of body kept by Foundation due to markings left by SCP-1000-2 which implied [REDACTED].
==Requires Level 4 Clearance or Higher to View==
Addendum SCP-1000-3-A (09/07/197█):
SCP-1000-3 has been discovered operating out of San Francisco. A very cunning specimen. Several personnel claim that he scares them. But I just see a challenge from him. I really don't care who he's killed or why. He still has human feelings, I believe, and so can be broken. I have set out a plan to have this finalized by January 23, 197█.
On the subject of SCP-1000 as a species, I am highly skeptical. Hopefully once I break him and get him talking this will all be resolved.
Dr. Reid
Addendum SCP-1000-3-B: Successful Escape Attempts by SCP-1000-3
(10/25/197█): SCP-1000-3 broke containment. Successfully mailed letter to [REDACTED].
(03/10/197█): SCP-1000-3 broke containment. Successfully mailed letter to [REDACTED]. Successfully mailed letter to [RDEACTED]. One civilian casualty sustained. Body not found. Intercepted by Foundation agents before attempted murder of [REDACTED].
(01/24/197█): SCP-1000-3 broke containment. Stayed on-site. 24 personnel casualties sustained. All gun shots to head with exception of Dr. Reid, who was incapacitated then had [REDACTED] repeatedly carved all over body. Death from blood loss. Successfully sent letter to [REDACTED]. SCP-1000-3 died from blood loss after being repeatedly shot by Foundation personnel.
==O5 Clearance Required==
Results of Study into SCP-1000 specimens (03/29/2002):
Subjects Found: 9
Psychological Analysis: Logical in thought-process but irrational in motivation. Modus Operandi differs but general motivation similar. Lack of apparent remorse or grief suggests antisocial personality disorder. Appear to recognize each other as members of the same species.
Physiological Analysis: Unaging appears to be due to abnormally fast cell regeneration. This includes the subjects' brains, which may explain their misbehavior. Facial reformation appears to also occur due to quickened cell reproduction.
Reproduction: UNKNOWN
Origin: UNKNOWN
Estimated Number of Uncontained Instances of SCP-1000: [REDACTED] We are not sure of anything. Please do not jump to conclusions. - O5-7
Item #: SCP-JJJ
Object class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Article SCP-JJJ is to be checked upon weekly to remove all assumed interference. Five (5) anonymous level three staff are to be given knowledge of SCP-JJJ. A secondary backup of article SCP-JJJ is to be created on paper, which will be re-printed weekly. All references to SCP-JJJ are to be redacted from the Foundation database to prevent and minimize damage to important articles.
Addendum JJJ-1(02/08/████): Due to recent events, the four remaining level three staff and closest relatives are to be placed under suicide watch.
Description: SCP-JJJ is an apparently non-corporeal entity that appears to be self-destructive. Any references to SCP-JJJ, either electronic or on paper, will become corrupted, quickly degrade, or simply disappear. SCP-JJJ will also actively seek to terminate any person with involvement in its continued existence, generally through harassment until the target commits suicide.
It is unknown how SCP-JJJ originally came to be listed as a Foundation object, as its original document was deleted. The following is a log of activity by SCP-JJJ:
(01/06/████) Deleting article SCP-JJJ.
(02/06/████) Deleting inquiry into the deletion of the report on SCP-JJJ
(04/06/████) Corrupting official report on SCP-JJJ
(05/06/████) Hacking into main database. Expunging all references to self. Estimated ███ incident reports, experiment log entries, and miscellaneous data lost. Original status and involvement remains unknown.
(12/06/████) Crashing Foundation Database
(15/06/████) Sending out termination orders for every SCP with a designation higher than SCP-JJJ and SCP-JJJ itself. ██ SCP's lost. Foundation database and security measures updated.
(26/06/████) Corrupting article SCP-JJJ. Containment procedures updated.
(01/07/████) Corrupted data on SCP-███'s containment procedures. SCP-███ broke containment, killing ██ personnel, and damaging SCP-JJJ's chamber.
(14/07/████) Deleting article SCP-JJJ again.
(17/07/████) Apparent spontaneous combustion of hard-copy papers referencing SCP-JJJ
(23/07/████) Attempting to encourage Dr. ██████ into committing suicide.
(01/08/████) Sending out a termination order for Dr. ██████. Containment procedures updated accordingly.
(02/09/████) Sending memo to all personnel of clearance 4 or above with the title "JJJ" stating "JJJ IS A THREAT PLEASE KILL IT NOWPLEASEPLEASE".
(02/10/████) Sending out termination orders for all personnel who had read the previously sent memo. Orders redacted before casualties were sustained.
Note JJJ-1(16/06/████): Request for Keter classification. Dr. ██████
Denied. That loophole in the messaging system is now fixed. We only lost some SCP objects, one of which was a major drain on our budget. This incident was resolved without any major loss. O5-██
Note JJJ-2(23/07/████): SCP-JJJ is resorting to more hostile measures. Requesting termination of SCP-JJJ. Dr. ██████
Denied. Your wife has been placed in a witness protection program until further notice. She is in safe hands for now, doctor. O5-██
Note JJJ-3(02/10/████): SCP-JJJ is become more irrational. It is now entirely unpredictable. Request for Keter classification. Dr. ██████
Denied. Just because it's unpredictable does not mean it's a threat to mankind. O5-██
Note JJJ-4(03/08/████): RequEstiNg iMmediate nEutrAlizatiOn of ScP-JJJ. Dr. ██████
Denied, SCP-JJJ. O5-██
PLeaSe.
 |
| SCP-949 in roughly humanoid shape |
Item #: SCP-949
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Subject is to be kept in circular containment room with 10 meter radius. The wall are to be lined with no less than 30 centimeter of fire retardant material layered between 3 cm of tungsten-alloy and 30 cm of lead lining. The room is encircled by two large arrays of electromagnetic coil, each capable of generating 15 Tesla of magnetism at maximum setting. The electromagnets are to run 24/7 at one (1) Tesla to restrict the movement and shape of SCP-949. Whenever subject exhibited aggressive behavior, the magnetic output are turned up to maximum further restrict the subject’s movement. The chamber had to be maintained as a vacuum at all times and observation and communication is made from triple-layer blast window which is hidden under the south side of the room.
Any maintenance personnel are required to wear lead-lined pressurized full bodysuit before entering containment facility. To enter, they need to pass through at least two (2) airlocks. The electromagnetic field are strengthened to five (5) Tesla to minimize chance of injury.
In the event of containment breach, personnel will be issued Level-A flame-retardant sealed bodysuit equipped with in-built liquid coolant system and lead-lined blast shields. Subject are to be controlled by the hosing the subject liquid nitrogen mixed with iron dust.
Four (4) units of 4000W electric heater are installed at for points of the room which is turned on for four (5) hours each day. Television is to be shown SCP-949 presence through the blast window at daily basis to stave off boredom and keep aggression in check. ██████-█ and ███████ are forbidden within 150 meters radius from subject’s containment facility unless ordered by personnel with Level 5 Security Clearance.
Description: SCP-949 is a plasma-based entity thought to have been transfigured from a human being. In its natural state, SCP-949 appears as an amorphous, superheated, glowing mass resembling fire with average temperature of up to 6000 Co. It could expand its body to cover large area though its core temperature decrease the larger it get. The plasma that makes up SCP-949’s body is similar to those found in [DATA EXPUNGED].
The subject composition allows it to survive in vacuum but renders it vulnerable to strong magnetic field. A 10 minutes exposure to a magnetic field with strength above sixteen (16) Tesla could cause instability that leads to dissipation. Subject also emits radiation similar to solar wind and X-ray which could trigger the formation of cancer cell. When the radiation interact with ozone however, it will form an aurora-like phenomenon that surround the subject.
SCP-949 is primarily a thermovore that feed on heat energy. It did so simply absorbing heat from its surrounding, which could cause a localized drop in temperature. If biological organism is present within ten (10) meter could suffer mild hypothermia symptoms. It is calculated that it need a barest minimum of 4 kJ per day to survive. It also needs about thirty (30) gram of ██████-█ and/or forty (40) gram of ███████ every year.
Subject 949 is shown to be capable of higher cognition function though the presence of magnetic field interferes with this. In general, the stronger the magnetic field applied to it, the dumber and the more aggressive it become. Subject had learn to communicate by shaping portions of itself into symbols or pictures or assuming vaguely humanoid shape to communicate through rough body language. Subject appears to only understand Javanese written in Sanskrit.
Addendum [SCP-949a]: The existence SCP-949 was first hinted after a series of devastating fire in ██████ ████, ███████, Indonesia in ██/██/████. However, the researchers of SCP Foundation remained skeptic about its existence until a Javanese shaman managed to contain him a clay-coated steel jar which somehow lower SCP-949 temperature to only 300 Co and basically put the subject in a suspended animation. The jar and SCP-949 was retrieved in ██/██/████.
The containment jar, nicknamed 'Genie's Lamp' by attending staffs, had been labeled as SCP-949-2. Proposal for its separate classification is pending.
Addendum [SCP-949b]: It is hypothesized that subject was once a human due to the remarkable similarity of its psychological profile to that of a normal human. When asked a for a name however, it becomes confused and stopped responding.
Addendum [SCP-949c]: Researcher Assistant █.█ █████ had hypothesized links between SCP-949 and SCP-457. This hypothesis should be treated with utmost skepticism until proven otherwise.
SCP-X: Too small to even be in collapsibles - also a troll article
SCP-X is a second-order simulacra of unknown origin. It is green and weighs 37 pounds.
SCP-X was originally recovered from an Indian burial site under the foundations of the [Redacted] casino. All instances of SCP-X-39 should be eaten immediately or otherwise consumed (rectal damage will not be covered under foundation medical insurance policies).
Special-Containment procedures: SCP-X is to be kept in a room temperature (60-80º) dry environment and out of direct sunlight. Exposure to sunlight may expedite inevitable fading. Don't throw it or anything like that.
 |
| One of the known pictures of SCP-1190. |
Item #: SCP-1190
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1190 is to be kept in a compact 3 x 3 x 8 air-tight concrete cell. Instances are to be carried on a standard USB flash drive. Any personnel entering must wear wrist and neck protection. Room is to be magnetized with a large magnet every 24 hours to ensure that the subject does not spread in its physical form. Search engine databases and other kinds of common servers are to be swept regularly for SCP-1190.
Observation through a bullet-proof glass is to be made to make sure that the physical manifestation of the subject does not destroy the USB, or other monitoring equipment.
Description: SCP-1190 is a file titled ███████.txt. It was found in the ███ Apartment Blocks in █████████, California. It consists of a code that is typed in an unidentified. When the code is viewed on a computer monitor, or if the file is opened or spread in any way it will begin to copy itself. (To ensure safety, the code will not be recorded in this document.) It will continue to copy itself into many files, and will soon build over millions of copies of code.
SCP-1190 is observed to build consensus over time when duplicating, and finally, once it fills a hard drive, it will build itself from the hard drive into a physical manifestation. The manifestations are what looks like a microscopic "Drone" of sorts. The drones will then pair into a cloud, duplicating each other into smaller forms, since more material from the hard rive is nowhere to be found. It is then observed to become "Sapient", and was known to enter a human victim through [DATA EXPUNGED]. After that stage, it will cause total neurological shutdown of the human in question, eventually leading to death. It is also observed to attack with more violent procedures. Some of these attacks include the drones grouping together and cutting through the wrists and neck of humans, and causing other lacerations to other parts of the body.
Any image taken of any of SCP-1190's will become severely distorted in different ways
Addendum 1: Interview with Commander █████████ of Mobile Task Force Mu-██
Dr. ███████████: So, can you start from the beginning? How did you find the artifact?
Commander █████████: In an apartment, sir. We were (deep breaths, then continues) We were sent in to investigate a strange broadcast. The broadcast apparently led to the link of some .wmv file.
Dr. ███████████: Have you seen, found, or viewed this file?
Commander █████████: Not that I know of. I was told by the lab boys not to mess with any of the contents during the broadcast. I deemed it as suspicious, so I formally requested investigating the source.
Dr. ███████████: Thank you. Now, moving on to the experience the the apartment complex. What happened?
Commander █████████: We went in clad with ██PD apparel to avoid suspicion. We all had sidearms, just in case we had us a fight. The first thing we did was jam the broadcast. Then, we knocked on the door. The door opened, and a man wearing some kind of business suit greeted us. He had the look of fear in his eye, and he was shivering. The moment one of my squad members started talking to him, he pulled a knife into my buddie's chest, then ran. The moment he did that, we went after him. We took a few gunshots at his legs, but he ran like the wind to the balcony. We cornered him on the balcony, and got to him. We was about to climb over, and had this big-[EXPLETIVE] smile on his face, then fell backward towards the ground, killing himself. My buddy was wounded bad. We got a medic in.
Dr. ███████████: What happened after that?
Commander █████████: We searched and found his PC. It was old, for sure. The background was black, and the toolbar was empty. There was no document on it, but something titled "███████.txt". I opened it up, and it was a text file. It was filled with random codes I didn't recognize. Suddenly, the computer burst. into this big silver mist. I ran as an impulse, but the last men in my squad were taken. I grabbed a flashdrive from the desk the moment that happened. My two squad weren't that lucky. They got weird-thin cuts on their wrists and a very deep one in their necks. I still don't want to see the .wmv file, either. After that we just left, and covered it up as a shooting were no one was injured. Like it never happened.
Dr. ███████████: Thank you commander. Closing the report.
Item #: SCP-2547-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Due to how widely spread this species has become, containment is impossible. Indeed, as the majority of foundation personnel are examples of SCP-2547-J, any attempt at containment would impair the foundation's ability to contain other SCPs. However, communications between the larger tribes should be monitored at all times; despite occasional flashes of brilliance from individuals either isolated or working in small teams, the majority of the interactions between large groups have been described by senior researcher ██████ as 'mind-blowingly stupid'.
Description: SCP-2547-J is also known as ████ ███████, a bipedal hominid with an unusually large brain proportional to its size.. A great degree of variety in appearance has been noted between individual specimens, but the greatest difference is the sexual dimorphism between the two subspecies required for sexual reproduction (SCP-2547-J-1 and SCP-2547-J-2), which differ both in appearance and general behavior.
SCP-2547-J-1 is the 'male' subspecies, with coarser skin, more prominent musculature and external reproductive organs. They practically worship physical prowess, with most social interactions based around proving their toughness or strength. Curiously, they also have a habit of exaggerating injury or illness, to the point where they can pretend that a mild disease is actually potentially deadly. The only hypothesis put forward for this seemingly contradictory behavior came from Doctor █████. Her proposal that "they're all just big softies, really" is being considered. Finally, and most puzzlingly, is SCP-2547-J-1's obsession with the size of their genitals. This is thought to be due to a second brain located within the penis, which controls actions to some unknown extent; increased size leads to better information-processing capabilities, enabling those with larger 'brains' to out-think those with smaller 'brains' (research is on-going). These contradictory, illogical, yet nearly universal traits have led to the conclusion by almost all research staff that despite any appearances to the contrary, SCP-2547-J-1 is not an intelligent life form.
SCP-2547-J-2 is the 'female' subspecies, with smoother skin, mammary glands and internal reproductive organs. It has been noted that SCP-2547-J-2 is a species whose primary behavioural characteristics are contradictory. Individuals are usually able to speak at least one language with varying degrees of eloquence, but when interacting with peers, they lapse into a garbled, rapid speech known as gibberish, only comprehensible to other members of SCP-2547-J-2. While most are perfectly capable of rational thought, in social interactions they do not seem to use this capacity, instead relying upon a bizarre and often incomprehensible set of rules which they assume everyone else is aware of. When these rules are broken (almost invariably by members of SCP-2547-J-1), they display a heightened emotional state, and usually shun the individual who broke these rules. Similarly, despite scoring well on most hand-eye coordination tests, the average member of SCP-2547-J-2 is incapable of driving a motor vehicle further than five (5) kilometers without being in at least one (1) car accident, an phenomenon that is known as the 'women driver effect'. All this inexplicable contradictory behavior proves the sole purpose of the existence of SCP-2547-J-2 is to make life for members of SCP-2547-J-1 a living hell.
Item # SCP-1031
Object Class: Euclid
Special containment procedures:
SCP-1031 is to be fully guarded at its present location at all times by armed plain-clothes operatives from Mobile Task Force Rho-7 “Swift And Forceful Hand”. Any and all incoming personnel must be signed off on by the ranking security officer onsite after a full battery of psychological tests to determine mental stability and competency to withstand the unique rigors of interacting with SCP-481. Additionally, all research staff and anyone coming into direct contact with the interior of SCP-481 must submit to the above tests every 30 days under penalty of incarceration and reassignment.
Anyone entering the cordoned off portions of SCP-1031 must sign in with site security before being allowed to enter. Anyone looking out of the sealed-off windows in these areas must additionally notify no less than two (2) on-site research personnel before removing the protective coverings from the window frame(s) under penalty of termination. The area around a removed pane must be shielded with opaque tarp shielding for the entire duration of the cover being removed.
Description:
SCP-1031 is a mid-sized ranch-style house in ████████, Wisconsin, secluded from the surrounding neighborhood in a grove of deciduous trees. The house dates to the mid 1980s when it was built, according to locals, as a rental property by a real-estate developer. All attempts to locate the developer have failed, as no name was supplied by any area residents, and the name “Fairview Development” supplied by the city leads nowhere.
No one has ever rented the house, all perspective occupants being driven away by what was reported as a feeling of “wrongness” when inside the structure, as though there was something “off” about the place. Further information gathered indicates that it quickly became a notorious hangout for drug dealers and other lowlifes, police having to respond several times to fights and other disturbances. It is theorized that the sense of unreality contributed to the addicts’ affiliation for the place, as a way to increase or modify their high.
SCP-1031 came to the Foundation’s attention when a local teen broke into the building one night. Police reports indicate that he staggered into town the next morning in a hysterical mood, muttering of having seen, quote; “the wrong past” and “all of time”. Subject then attempted to gouge out his own eyes before being restrained by onlookers and transferred to psychiatric care. Initial police suspicions were that the teen was yet another one of the junkies that frequented the premises, albeit a more disturbed one, but an interview with the subject’s parents told quite the opposite story, their and others’ testimony indicating no past drug use. A patrol car was subsequently sent to check out the house, but failed to report in. Upon responding, a team of officers found the patrolmen on the road to the house several yards from his car, which was totaled into a tree. He was dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, administered by his duty weapon, which was lying at his feet. A local SCP agent then contacted the Foundation, which sent a reconnaissance team to the site under the guise of a HAZMAT crew, to respond to reports of a “gas leak” on a gas line near the residence. The officers who witnessed what had happened were given a class A amnesiac and released.
Upon entering the house, the team found it fully furnished and spotlessly clean, as though it were being shown for sale. The interior layout was fairly conventional, at first appearing to be a completely normal dwelling. Exploring further, however, the team quickly discovered a heavy steel door off of the living room, which appeared to lead into a long, bare hallway with concrete walls, floor, and ceiling. The hallway was and is not on any schematics and does not match up to the exterior plan of the structure. Upon entering this hall, team members reported a feeling of “otherness” and a slight change in air pressure, as though the hall was not in the same location or ‘level’ as the rest of the structure, or as though the passage were underground. Nevertheless, exploration continued, the passage eventually twisting off into a labyrinthine tunnel system all made of the same concrete materials as the original passage. Eventually, the team came upon several windows along the passage, which showed views of the outside world. However, these views of the world were not of the present world, but seemingly of alternate histories or parallel universes. Team members reported feelings of deep unease and panic upon witnessing these scenarios, ranging in intensity from mild discomfort to complete mental breakdown, resulting in the death of one operative and the restraint of several others. It was at this time that the team withdrew and called for backup.
At this time the site is cordoned off from outside entry, the site being secluded enough that a cover story is, at this time, not deemed necessary. Any outside intruders should, providing that they are not a direct threat, be administered a Class B amnesiac and released offsite.
With the above-mentioned measures in place, research commenced on the interior of SCP-481, in the attempt to determine the exact nature of the structure and how it relates to these alternate timelines.
The alternate timelines observed through SCP-481’s windows include:
A fairly normal looking scene of the field behind the house, which all windows seem to depict, although on a truck parked in the field a bumper sticker from “Richmond, Virginia, CSA” is visible. This seems to imply a Confederate victory in the Civil War in this timeline.
An empty, tilled field, with a flagpole depicting, in addition to the American flag, a flag bearing the words “National Socialism, Not In My Country”, suggesting ongoing political or military struggles with Nazism.
A bomb-cratered, charred landscape, with what appears to be the shell of a car in the distance, lending credit to some kind of war or other offensive operation.
A wasteland, with shriveled, brown grass and stumpy, malformed trees. higher levels of radiation measured immediately around the windowpane tentatively suggest a nuclear event of some sort. Personnel are additionally required wear NBC protective equipment when removing the cover for study.
An almost impenetrably thick web of pipes and conduits resembling those of SCP-015.
[Data Expunged]
Field is cleared in all directions as far as the eye can see. Ground is covered in a massive system of gears, pulleys, and other mechanical components bearing a distinct resemblance to SCP-882. Components are partially blocking window. A large tent is visible off in the distance, with a sign that reads in part “Gears of the Almighty”.
[A full catalogue of events and scenarios witnessed through SCP-481’s windows can be located by accessing document 3740-3]
Addendum 6997 – To all onsite staff:
Personnel are not to take unauthorized photos of the subject matter witnessed during interaction with SCP-1031. “Whoever posted those cell phone pictures of Window 5 to the Foundation district forums must cease this activity immediately. This is an incomprehensibly blatant security risk that jeopardizes the whole operation here. If those photos get out, and people start snooping, we’re going to have a serious crisis on our hands. If it happens again, I will find whoever’s responsible and have them immediately transferred to meet SCP-173. Don’t test me. I am not joking. Security is paramount here. Use your brains, people. Come on.” – Major Lynn Eco, Head of Onsite Security, Mobile Taskforce Rho-7.
Item #: SCP-1031
Object Class: Safe(See footnote)
Special Containment Procedures: Object is to be kept in a simple storage unit in the restricted access section of warehouse ███
Description: Object Is a decorative metal goblet capable of holding roughly 13 fluid oz, the metal has been identified as common steel
Object was found at a Renaissance fair in ██████, Michigan after the unusual death of a fair patron(died by swallowing molten cobalt). it was part of a set produced by a local metalworker made for sale at the event. All other pieces of the set have been procured, but have displayed no anomalous properties. interrogation of the metalworker himself indicated the item was entirely mundane before being sent to the event for sale.
The goblet displays it's unusual properties only when filled with a foreign liquid, and then imbibed by a human being(testing on various animal species all ended with negative activity). when a liquid is introduced into the human mouth, it spontaneously transmutes into a different, seemingly random liquid. some observed examples have been:
-Molten cobalt
-Rat blood
-Grape soda
-Water
-Saliva(unidentified source)
-sulfuric acid
-Motor oil
-Bleach
-Vinegar
note that each tasting alters the liquid. all results above save for the cobalt where obtained in a single filling.
Footnote: Though classed as safe, SCP-1031 still poses grave risk of physical harm to anyone who attempts to use it for it's intended purpose, and should be kept in a restricted access zone when not employed in foundation approved experiments
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
 |
| SCP-1234 in his cell. Notice his apparel is not unlike a jester or a circus performer. |
Item #: SCP-1234
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1234 is to be kept in confinement at all times. Cell block must always be locked and secured. All cells used for SCP-1234 must be made from refined, impenetrable metal and one window with iron clad bars. If for some reason he is to be transferred, at least four personnel must escort him. Subject must not come near anyone within a radius of two meters unless granted access to.
No potential weaponry or items that could pose a threat can be brought into his cell, in the case of any attempt of breaking out or killing personnel. Anyone entering his cell, let alone going near him, must wear protective clothing at all times. After interaction, protocol requires decontamination of anyone whom was in proximity of SCP-1234.
Subject is now confined in Containment Area-██ until further action is taken. SCP-1234 requires constant surveillance throughout the night. Subject is nocturnal, and is known to wail and scratch during the night. This is considered normal, and if this behaviour changes, it requires immediate reporting to an active supervisor.
Description: SCP-1234 has the appearance of a jester, yet the skin tone and characteristics of a goblin. According to an interview, he is ███ years old. Subject’s eyes have been known to glow in the darkness, and decaying teeth are present. He is known to bear striped braces and a pyramid shaped hat. He responds to the name “Jester”.
Subject has been known to slaughter his victims using objects around him or his long fingernails. When SCP-1234’s enemies have been assimilated, Jester will use their blood and write a tally mark upon his cell wall. One, two, three, four…
Jester can scale walls using his adhesive palms, not unlike a spider effect. This was once seen during [DATA EXPUNGED].
Addendum: It seems we aren’t that different, Subject 1234. We both have some “humanity” left in us. – Dr. Nicole Berry before termination, due to contact
Interviewed: SCP-1234
Interviewer: Dr. █████████
Foreword: Introductory to the Foundation, basic protocol.
<Begin Log, [██:██pm, ██/██/████]>
** Dr. █████████:** Day one in confinement. We are metting SCP-1234 for the first time. Surveillance is active and functioning. Let’s begin shall we? How are you 1234?
SCP-1234: <heavy breathing> I’m not surviving if that’s what you’re asking.
** Dr. █████████:** Could you please elaborate, 1234?
SCP-1234: Don’t call me that lady. Call me <cough> Jester…
** Dr. █████████:** I’m sorry 1234, protocol requires me to-
SCP-1234: DO I LOOK LIKE I COULD GIVE A SHIT RIGHT NOW!?
** Dr. █████████:** 1234, please relax. We are just here to help.
SCP-1234: I’ve heard that before, believe me.
** Dr. █████████:** Let’s change the subject. Do you know why you are here, 1234?
SCP-1234: Don’t we all? I’m a murderer.
** Dr. █████████:** Yes, that you are, 1234. You know it was wrong, murdering those kindergarteners in broad daylight. Had you not known you would have been caught?
SCP-1234: I don’t care of the consequences. I care about the numbers, milady…
<End Log, [[██:██pm, ██/██/████]>
Closing Statement: SCP-1234 was tranquilized after attacking Dr. █████████, who suffered minor scars to the face and neck and was immediately decontaminated.
Incident: Death
SCP involved: SCP-1234
Personnel involved: Dr. McCallum, Mr. Meital, Mr. Mobbs
Date: ██:██pm, ██/██/████
Location: Area ██
Description:
Dr. McCallum entered cell for blood test, accompanied with two Foundation personell equipped with firearms, approved by overseer. SCP-1234 was noted to drop down upon the two personnel, instantly killing them with his sharp fingernails. 1234 shuffled toward Dr. McCallum and murmured “Welcome, number ██”. Video feed goes blank after that.
Item #: SCP-2012-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP 2012-J is currently uncontained. Current research is focused on means of eradicating the infected, or preventing the transmission of infection to others. Should an effective means of elimination of the infected or elimination of the means of transmission be found, no more than ten (10) individuals infected shall be kept on-site for research purposes. Should a member of staff be found with low level infections, they are to be given a Class B amnesiac, implanted with false memories, released, and monitored. If symptoms do not worsen for a period of 12 months, monitoring is to be discontinued; if their condition worsens, monitoring is to continue until their condition stabilizes for 24 months, or they display high level infection symptoms. If at any point a released individual develops a high level infection, they are to be terminated by any plausibly deniable means.
If any individuals are found among the staff to have a high level of infection they are to be terminated, and those responsible for screening of new applicants for SCP-2012-J are to be investigated and tested for infection.
Description: SCP-2012-J is a memetic infection widespread in the US, with a notable presence in the ████████████ area of the continental United States. The reason for its rapid spread, as well as its apparent inability to spread to other countries, is unknown. Research into differentiating factors, such as units of measurement, language, culture, etc, have been inconclusive and contradictory. Those infected are considered instances of SCP-2012-J-1.
The infection progresses as a series of ideas for the running of government (federal, state, and local), and have been consistently described as 'unworkable', or 'a gross violation of civil rights' by informal questioning of uninfected individuals. These ideas are considered SCP-2012-J-A, B, C, etc (referred to SCP-2012-J-[alphabetical] in aggregate). Note that infectees will espouse support for all of these to some extent, and are apparently unaware of the contradictory nature of certain elements of SCP-2012-J-[alphabetical]. Notable aspects of SCP-2012-J-[alphabetical] include:
SCP-2012-J-C - The universal █████████ of gun rights, with emphasis on private ████████ of guns.
SCP-2012-J-H - Complete █████████ of healthcare, citing that the private healthcare industry ██████ ████ ███████████
SCP-2012-J-J - █████████ of public schooling, including the ████████ of private schooling.
SCP-2012-J-N - The complete █████████ of abortion, citing that not doing so would be a gross violation of █████████'s right to ████████.
SCP-2012-J-R - The ███████ of gay marriage, with citations of ███████ tradition and history.
Official testing of uninfected and infected individuals has shown consistent patterns:
1. Uninfected individuals, when presented with elements of SCP-2012-J-[alphabetical] and their arguments, as well as counter ideas and arguments, will almost invariably select the latter, citing 'common sense'. Deviations from this behavior are rare, and are usually accompanied with limits on application and scope.
2. Infected individuals, when presented with the same, will invariably choose the former, and when questioned will most often parrot a 'sound byte' they have heard from a high-profile infected in the media or government, such as Bill █████ or Nancy █████.
3. Uninfected individuals are infected by contact with instances of SCP-2012-J-[alphabetical], whether audibly or visually communicated. While refutation of elements of SCP-2012-J-[alphabetical] in a logical and sensible manner will prevent infection in the short term, long term infection has been found to occur even without additional exposures; that is, an individual may initially resist SCP-2012-J infection, but without further exposure to aspects of SCP-2012-J-[alphabetical] they may become infected and espouse elements of SCP 2012-J-[alphabetical].
Addendum: [Optional additional paragraphs]
Item #: SCP-1365
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
SCP-1365 can not be contained as it is not a physical entity. It is a thought and therefore near impossible to realiably contain. However, if SCP-1365 should spread beyond it's current carriers, [REDACTED] would be terminated Imediately by the being know as 'Snellaay'. [REDACTED] would be forced take full responsibility for such contamination and therefore such spread of information must be prevented AT ALL COSTS!
I don't… I mean [REDACTED] doesn't want to die.
Description:
SCP-1365 is an extremely contagious type of thought and is classified as 'Rumor'. Spread of this 'Rumor' causes severe emotional distress to the being 'Snellaay'. There are also other ways to trigger the emotional distress. Known causes are:
- The word 'Ollyhay'. Either written down or broadcasted vocally. (Volume seems to increase the distress exhibited)
- The presence of the Human female known as [REDACTED]
The exact contents of the thought are unclear however 'Snellaay's vague responses indicate a relationship of the ROMANTIC variety. This however is all speculation by me… i mean [REDACTED].
Item#:SCP-7331-J.
Object Class:Euclid.
Special containment procedures:SCP-7331-J needs to be kept out of reach of humanity at all costs.
SCP-7331-J is to be kept open to the general public for testing purposes.
Description: SCP-7331-J appears to be a social networking site referred to by the users as F███████ it allows its users to post "statuses" share links and [DATA EXPUNGED]. 7331-J appears to have a memetic effect causing those within the 13-██ age bracket to act in a fashion considered irritating, posting "statuses" about how shitty they're life is and posting lyrics from songs Which other victims of 7331 take literally. 7331-J also appears to inspire spelling mistakes in the user along with the need to reduce words that could be expressed normally on modern day keyboards to initials (see test log 7331-1) Non users of 7331-J express great irritation at these Expressions.
Addendum-1: due to a large influx of victims in 20██ object is being considered Keter.
Addendum-2:an anomalous site called ████ + has appeared, fortunately does not have the same trapping power 7331-j does, SCP classification denied.
Addendum-3:any research staff seen using the expressions caused by 7331 will be demoted to Keter duty. D-class will be terminated on sight.
Note- Dammit bright stop giving the other researchers profiles, we don't need our test reports posted for the whole world to see!-Dr.Rights.
SCP-███ Retrieval Log
Personnel Involved: MTF Zeta-13
SCP Objects Involved: SCP-███
Foreword: SCP-███ appeared at the entrance of Site-██, however due to its nature it immediately escaped containment. MTF Zeta-13 were able to locate SCP-███ in the Site Facilities.
<Commence Audio Log>
Agent █████████: Entering washroom 14-E now.
Agent ████████████: Ready with flashlight.
SCP-███: Good morning gentlemen.
Agent █████████: SCP-███-E is visible. Appears to be pattern of stripes in humanoid figure, er, attached to wall.
SCP-███: I believe there's a better name for me, Agent █████████?
Agent █████████: How does he know my name?
SCP-███: You learn a lot of things. The walls always listen, Agent.
Agent ████████████: Turning off lights.
SCP-███: Oh, don't do that.
(Sounds of movement. Heavy breathing may be heard. Two loud "cracks" are heard. Heavy breathing fades away.)
<End audio log>
Both Agents were found in Site Facility 14-E, dead from severe concussion and hemorrhaging.
<Commence Audio Log>
MTF Leader █████████████: We have located SCP-███-E.
Agent ██████: Approaching.
SCP-███: Hello gentlemen.
Agent ██████: Please follow us, ███. I will not hesitate to tear this wallpaper.
SCP-███: Oh don't do that, that wouldn't be a very nice thing to do at all.
MTF Leader █████████████: Tear it.
(Sounds of movement, followed by sounds of engagement. Heavy breathing may be heard throughout.)
SCP-███: Hello I am (cracking noise) Mr. Stripes. I am copyright (loud thud) Dr. Wondertainment, as part of (cracking noise) the Little Misters (sound of heavy impact). I am pleased to meet you.
<End audio log>
MTF Leader █████████████ and Agent ██████ were found dead in a similar manner as the previous two agents.
Pagan ""SCP-105 has been recaptured in the San Francisco airport on 10/05/2008. On orders from O5-██, SCP-105 was forced to perform her ability under threat of death by SCP-173."
21:45 pooryoric pagan
21:45 Pagan Wait…
21:46 pooryoric the SCP didn't make the threat you moron
The Embodiment of Holiness
 |
| SCP-XXX |
Item #: SCP-XXX
Object Class: Imperative
Special Containment Procedures: It is said that SCP-XXX is to be guarded by three black knights, all armed with deadly weapons, and locked away within a dark castle resting upon Cair-Ranival, the isle of terror. Cair-ranival rests within the Ocean of Thasmus, within which dwells the giant serpent Thasmia, that can eat a ship in a single bite. To defeat the giant serpent Thasmia, one must lay the sword of Mistria upon the Holy Table at Cair-Lavinar.
Prophecies tell of a hero that will arise to retrieve SCP-XXX from its containment. He will travel by land, by sea, and by air to come to the mystical object. Then he will lay his hand upon it and free the world from the evil hand of the Shadow Lord. Evil will try to deter him, but his companions will assist him along the way. May we all pray he succeeds.
Description: Although there is no one alive that may say what it is, legends tell of a force of light that was locked away many ages ago - SCP-XXX. It was forged in the light of Yam himself, by the great King of Iturbia, and for many years it was used by the royal family as a source of peace and prosperity. But alas, others soon arose who wished to take SCP-XXX for themselves. A war was fought that ravaged the countryside and almost destroyed the great kingdom of Iturbia. On his last legs, the King of Iturbia locked SCP-XXX away so that none may obtain it.
Addendum: Incident XXX-1:
Years went by and the Kingdom of Iturbia returned to its prosperous state. And then, a sudden force came to the world. The Shadow Lord. With a dark army he swept away all that would oppose him and seized the throne of Iturbia for himself. The world is now in darkness, waiting for a hero to free it.
[19:42] Akane He could try moving the blade in the sheath
[19:42] Akane Or…removing it…
[19:43] Maddy Alice leans her head on Jason. She is so done with the weird shit that happens around her on a regular basis.
[19:43] Salmander "You could try moving the blade in the sheath."
[19:43] Salmander "Or… removing it…."
Memetic Agent PH
Timothy Hyne shifted in his seat nervously, wondering why he had been brought into research affairs. Research Assistant Corbette sat beside him, drumming his fingers on the armrests of his chair. Hyne glared at the Research Assistant, as he knew from overheard conversations that Corbette was on the lowest rung of the SCP food chain. Research Assistant Corbette was indeed quite pale looking, and appeared to be eating raisins.
“Enjoying your junk food, Corbette? The stuff I make not good enough for you?” growled Hyne.
“M-maybe…” Corbette continued to chew his raisins. He was intimidated by the burly chef.
Hyne gritted his teeth , then looked up as Dr. Bridge came into the room. The doctor looked somewhat handsome as he regarded the two employees, stroking his pencil moustache and greying goatee.
“What are you staring at, Corbette?” He raised a single eyebrow.
“N-nothing, sir,” Corbette replied. He pocketed his raisins.
“Well,” Bridge rolled his eyes. “You may be wondering why you’re here. Some of the other doctors think it might be a good idea if we get a fresh pair of eyes in to look at some SCP’s. See what they can find. You two are those eyes.”
“What do you mean, sir?” asked Corbette, fingering the raisins in his pocket.
“This is bullshit. I’m a chef, not some kind of mad scientist. It’s lunch in an hour, I need to get back to my kitchen!” said Hyne.
“To be frank, we’ve noticed a shear shitload of output from both of you,” continued Bridge, “Our top scientists are working on something that we think you would be the perfect specimens for. They call it… the power hour.”
“The what?” asked Hyne.
“The power hour. Are you deaf?”
“The power hour. Like a cartoon?”
“No, like a goddamn hour of power.” Bridge took out a small fob and turned on a projector facing the wall to display an image of a body builder’s silhouette super-imposed over a clock. “The power hour.”
Hyne’s eyes flicked around the room. “So, uh, what do we have to do?”
Corbette squinted at the image as Dr. Bridge clicked the fob again. It appeared to show some kind of fish being crushed by a large glowing skull. He clicked it again to show a flowing green liquid pouring onto the back of a goat. The next one was a fish in the middle of what appeared to be a nuclear explosion.
Corbette stared at the changing images and began to drool.
“What is this, Bridge? Can’t you just tell us?” pleaded Hyne.
“Feel the power flowing through you gentlemen! Feel it!” The images began to change every half second now, just flits of memetically-stocked photographs and drawings. Finally, after thee hundred and twenty two images, it stopped.
Corbette appeared to be completely brain-dead in his chair, Hyne noticed. “Doctor, you didn’t put a kill agent in there, did you?”
Suddenly, Corbette rose from his chair, flexing his biceps and looking at the two men. “I HAVE THE POWER!”
“What?”
“I HAVE THE POWER!”
“Doctor Bridge,” began Hyne, turning around. In front of him was an image of what appeared to be an owl. Strength poured through his very being. “I HAVE THE POWER!”
“NOW IS HOUR, HYNE!”
Hyne and Corbette ran out of the door, screaming in triumph. A junior researcher made a move to stop them, but Dr. Bridge held out a hand to stop her. “Not now, lass. For now is the power hour.”
A Merchandising Item of High Quality
Item #: SCP-025-J™
Object Class: Non-toxic
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-025-J™ - a $40 value - can be yours for only two easy payment of $19.99!
Description: Hi, I'm former site director and current volleyball coach, O5-7. Now, you may know me for my other appearances in documents like [REDACTED], but today I'm here to tell you all about an amazing new product I found. SCP-025-J™!
SCP-025-J™ is the latest and greatest toy you need for the holiday season! It's fun, educational, and exciting! Kids love it, and parents love it too! There's nothing you can't do without SCP-025-J™ and a little imagination!
Looks, first it's a sword! Now it's a ball! And look, now it's a best friend! Wowee, there's so many things you can do with SCP-025-J™!
Don't believe us? Listen to these amazing testimonials!
Addendum 025-J-1: Audio Logs 025-J 1-3
O5-7: So when did you get 025-J-1™?
D-5723: The doctor gave it to me yesterday.
O5-7: And what exciting things did you use it for?
D-5723: I strangled that asshole 2736 with it.
O5-7: Wowee!
O5-7: So how did it feel to be a part of the 025-J™ process?
D-2736: (Coughing)
O5-7: Yeah, I loved it too!
D-2736: (Choking)
Dr. Johanson: Y'know, it really is an amazing product. My kids have been so much better. I have never seen them so happy before.
O5-7: 025-J™ really is an amazing product.
Dr. Johanson: 025-J™? I thought this was an advert for Rita[UNEXPECTED END OF LOG]
Addendum 025-J-2:
==O5 CLEARANCE REQUIRED==
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| SCP-025-J™ |
The Incredibly Deadly Moose
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| SCP-XXX |
Item #: SCP-XXX
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXX is to be contained within a level-3 ecological containment chamber, with foliage provided based on Nutrition Chart XXX-1.
Description: SCP-XXX is a male member of the species Alces alces, or the North-American moose. Although there does not appear to be any physical anomalies surrounding SCP-XXX, it has a memetic effect of causing subjects who view it to believe it is highly dangerous. Further research is required into this phenomenon.
Addendum: IT IS VERY DEADLY - Researcher James
Le Crossover Fic
I was pretty excited about the new briefing. Of course, the man leading the briefing would be Dr. O'Reilly. I've come to feel disdain for him ever since he made everyone on site read his thesis on 914. "Biological material goes in, [DATA EXPUNGED] comes out. You can't explain that!"
Still, there was a lot to be excited for. Then again Wilkowitz would also be there. Guy just wouldn't shut up about his demotion. "I used to be an agent, then I took a bullet to the knee." Honestly, just shut up already. Every time I see him now I just go FFFFFUUUUUUU. The only person here worse than Wilkowitz was S. B. Steve. What an asshole.
S.B. Steve really was a horrible guy. I remember this one time he got every agent on site into a room just so he could perform a Gay Test. And the pic he used was of Jennifer Anniston's face photoshopped onto a muscle man's body. And I could tell it was shopp'd, I can tell by the pixels and that I've seen quite a few in my time. Greg backed me up.
It doesn't stop there either. There was this one time I was trying to pick up this girl from research named Amber Lamps in the rec room and Steve was there. Let me tell you about it: Le talking to hot girl. Le asshole comes up. Le asshole blames it on me. Foreveralone.jpg
The briefing room was also getting really weird. Some guy heard we liked our projector a lot, so he mounted a projector on our projector so we could project while we projected. Needless to say, when the site director heard about this he just stood up and said "I'MA FIRIN THIS MAINTENANCE MAN."
At this point you're probably wondering why I was so excited about the briefing. Well, see, the briefing was for a new SCP. Now I'm no superstitious man, but ever since I got my spray-on tan I've been getting hunches about this kind thing. I'm not saying it's aliens buuutttt….
That One Movie
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| The guy with the magic thing |
Item #: SCP-1201-J
Object Class: Action… I think?
Special Containment Procedures: I'm pretty sure I have a copy of it somewhere in my living room. On VHS. Wait, is it old enough for VHS? Man, I don't think I even have a VCR anymore. Oh god I feel old.
Description: SCP-1201-J is that one movie. The one with the guy. The big one? Well I guess he was more medium height. Everyone was talking about it a little while ago.
You know the one I'm talking about, right? With [REDACTED]? Or was it [REDACTED]… Like that movie with all the guys with guns. Yeah, that one, with the car that went swoosh swoosh and then there was an explosion. And it had that woman in it.
You know, that woman. The one who did the voice for that girl in the movie with the other guy who kept saving her? No, not her, the other one. [REDACTED]? Did she even ever do voice acting? Oh yeah, she was the princess in the cute little animated thing. With all the animals?
Oh wait, I think I'm getting it. Hold on… Damnit you messed me up! It wasn't REDACTED]! Since when has [REDACTED] been in anything anyways? Have you seen her at the Oscars? She looked like one of those skeletons from that old game. You know that old game, right?
Addendum: Wait, here are some pics of actors, lemme see if I can find the guy:
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| That cute kid! |
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| That chick from Kill… Bob? |
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| The guy from the movie with the ring |
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| The alligator man! |
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| The chick with nice tits |
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| Gandalf! |
Rex Sponge's Revealing Revelations: Tomorrow Sometimes Dies: Featuring Dr. James and the Ghost Sign in: Signception with Special Cameo from the Butt Ghost - Chapter 1: The Awakening of Things that are Asleep, in a Metaphorical Sense
"Brothers," said Mike.
"Mike," said the brothers.
"How are you today?"
"We are fine. Yourself?"
"Swell, swell."
"And the wife?"
"Oh she's fine."
"That's good."
"Ah, gentlemen, there you are," said another voice.
"Oh, hey."
"I'm glad you could join this call."
"Glad we could make it."
"Let us get down to business, shall we?"
"Let's."
"As you may know, the Foundation is expanding rapidly."
"We are aware."
"With their quick growth, we dealers of various anomalous items are facing an… unpleasant situation."
"Yes, yes."
"I propose our organizations temporarily unite in an effort to stop the Foundation."
"It may be our only option. One question."
"Yes?"
"Who are you?"
"Me? I'm Rex Sponge."
"Jaaaames. Wake uuuuuup!"
"Huh?"
"Jaaaames!"
"Oh goddamnit," Dr. James opened his eyes to see the ghost sign looming over him, "What do you want?"
"Iiii've had a premonitiiiiooon!" said the Ghost Sign, staying stock still. Because he was a sign.
"A what?" Dr. James adjusted himself and sat up, leaning against the bed frame. He scratched his chest and looked at his ghostly roommate.
"A premonitiiiioooon!" The Ghost Sign hopped up and down to emphasize that he did, in fact, have a premonition.
James sighed. "Tell me."
"Rex Spoooonge is back! Oooooh!" A breeze hit James's from the opened window on the opposite side of the room. He didn't remember closing it. He looked closer and saw bits of dried vomit on the windowsill. He sighed again.
"Ghost sign, have you been drinking again?"
"Well yeeeeees, but that's not the pooooiiiint!" the Ghost Sign continued, "Rex Sponge is baaaack! I had a dreeeeaaam! He was talking to some other meeeen!"
"Look, we went over this," James interjected. He began getting out of bed. "When you're drinking your premonitions get all faulty," He walked over to the washroom and began taking a leak, "How do you even drink? You don't have a mouth."
"Veeeeryyyy carefullyyyyy," the Ghost Sign replied.
"Ha ha." James finished whizzing and stepped back out of the washroom. he paused to look at himself in the mirror. Unshaven, tired looking. He looked much older than he should look. Who would have guessed a man reaching 30 would be stuck in internal investigations with a possessed yield sign for a partner. "Now let's focus on some real cases, shall we? Site Director wants us at his office by 9. And take some advil for that hangover. Somehow."
Breanne shuffled through the filing cabinet again. She loved the smell of old files. Breanne took a deep breath in and continued searching for the various payment slips and invoices that filled her life. She watched as a dust mote glided through the air and landed perfectly on her right index finger, then blew it off. Ah, the joys of lazy bureaucracy.
Breanne looked out the window for a moment, then headed off for the washroom. She opened a stall door and sat down. That's when she heard a voice.
"I am the butt ghost. I will eat your butt."
Dancing Mania
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| TEXT-DESCRIBING-THE-PIC |
Item #: SCP-1724
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Mobile Task Force Zeta 3, "Dancers", are currently in place to detect and arrest propagation of SCP-1724. Due to SCP-1724's nature, no other procedures have been deemed necessary at this time.
Description: SCP-1724 is a rare disorder appearing in approximately 0.01% of individuals. Subjects suffering from SCP-1724 will begin to perform some form of rythmic dance, most commonly a jig or thrash dancing. This dancing is memetic in nature and will cause others unaffected by the disorder to begin repeating the dance. This participation is not absolute, and only approximately 25% of all individuals viewing the dance will be affected. Research has found individuals more susceptible to suggestion tend to participate more frequently, leading to the conclusion that SCP-1724's propagation is a form of mass hysteria. Untreated, individuals who participate in the dance have a 20% chance of dying from exhaustion.
SCP-1724 is easily curable in affected individuals by simply removing them from the affected crowd. While historically SCP-1724 has been widespread, efforts by the SCP Foundation have made containment of arising instances commonplace, with propagation being reduced to ten or less individuals per arising instance.
In spite of the high amount of research being performed into SCP-1724's causes, no genetic or environmental links have been found. Current research concludes that SCP-1724 can arise in any matured individual at any time.
O5-1's New Groove
[14:51] Salmander I feel like
[14:51] Salmander writing something
[14:51] Tanhony write about how o5-1 got his groove back
[14:51] Salmander k
[14:52] Mr_Wilt Write something involving an orgy
[14:52] Mr_Wilt And a coffee maker
[14:52] Mr_Wilt And a nail file.
[14:53] Mr_Wilt Salmander: These are my three requirements. CHALLENGE INITIATED.
George Washington Butt Fucked while Picking his Nose
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| SCP-1981-J. Note the presence of SCP-1981-J-1 |
Item #: SCP-1981-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1981-J is to be kept inside a secure storage unit at the media archive of Site ██. It is to be checked regularly for imperfections.
Description: SCP-1981-J is an oil painting. "GEORGE WASHINGTON BUTT FUCKED WHILE PICKING HIS NOSE)"(sic) has been handwritten on the backing of each in felt tip pen. Laboratory analysis indicates that SCP-1982 is made of ordinary material, and dating methods have proven it to be from an authentic time period. SCP-1981-J was initially encountered by a filing clerk in the George Washington Presidential Library in 1881, who upon viewing it alerted the police, with the intent to find the painter to press "obscenity charges". A low level police investigation was conducted, at which point the Foundation was alerted and secured SCP-1981-J. Class A amnesiacs were administered before █████ could be notified. Further investigation of the library's records by Foundation personnel failed to yield any leads on SCP-1981-J's origin.
SCP-1981-J appears to be an oil portrait of former United States President George Washington picking his nose. Behind him is an unidentified figure engaging in anal intercourse with Washington.
Each viewing of SCP-1981-J causes it to display a different scene. Each viewing becomes more and more "randy", however the president will always be picking his nose.
Addendum: Researcher James has pointed out a possible relation to the following items:
- SCP-████ - "Thomas Jefferson being hit with a spoon while kicking"
- SCP-████ - "Howard Taft having a dick drawn on his face while taking a bath"
- SCP-████ - "Abraham Lincoln being kicked in the nuts while changing into corduroy pants"
- SCP-████ - "Dwight D. Eisenhower being slowly eaten away by a snapping turtle while urinating"
- SCP-████ - "George W. Bush getting a pap smear while reading"
- SCP-████ - "Franklin Delano Roosevelt being mocked by stand-up comedians while listening to the radio"
- SCP-████ - "Calvin Coolidge having a booger wiped on him by a 4 year-old kid named Ricky while doing the hokey-pokey"
- SCP-████ - "Ulysses S. Grant having sex while drinking"
Super Flying T-rex
Item #: SCP-8231-J
Object Class: Keter SUPER
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8231-J is kEpt in my housE with all my othEr toys!
Description: SCP-8231-J is thE coolEst t-rEx. it has wings for arms and likEs to fight with things. it can also talk and think bEcausE its very smart. somEtimEs it givEs me piggy back ridEs.
By Dr. James, Age 10
Addendum: Audio logs 8231-J-1 to -3
Dr. James: Good morning Mr. T-rex!
SCP-8231-J: What? Where am I? Who the fuck are… Oh my god, what happened to my arms? What the fuck are these? Are these wings!?
Dr. James: Yeah! You're a flying T-rex now!
SCP-8231-J: I'm… what? But I don't know how to fly!
Dr. James: And you're going to fight with other monsters!
SCP-8231-J: What the fuck are you talking about?
Dr. James: Here, fight this monster truck! (Door opens to containment chamber and monster truck rolls in, driven by Dr. Breen.)
SCP-8231-J: How am I supposed to fight a monster truck!?
Dr. James: 3… 2… 1… Go!
SCP-8231-J: Owch! That fucking hurt! How am I supposed to do this!?
Dr. James: Dodge it Mr. T-rex!
SCP-8231-J: MAYBE I WOULD IF THESE FUCKING WINGS WEREN'T HERE! (SCP-8231-J is hit by the truck and knocked unconscious)
Dr. James: Today you're going to fly Mr. T-rex!
SCP-8231-J: Okay, first of all, I don't know how to fly! Second of all, you're a fucking 10 year old kid in a lab coat, what the fuck is even going on!
Dr. James: You shouldn't swear Mr. T-rex!
SCP-8231-J: I don't give a shit! (Dr. James activates SCP-8231-J's shock collar)
Dr. James: Ok, Mr. T-rex time to fly!
SCP-8231-J: But… but… (Loud cry, possibly of frustration)
Dr. James: Just flap your wings simultaneously!
SCP-8231-J: Alright, fine. (Loud snapping noise) HOLY SHIT! OH FUCK! OH FUCK! AH, OH MY GOD, HOLY SHIT! I THINK I SNAPPED BOTH BONES! OH MY GOD FUCK!
Dr. James: I'll get you a band-aid.
Dr. James: Can I draw on your casts?
SCP-8231-J: No, get the fuck away from me you little shit!
Dr. James: I just want to draw on them!
SCP-8231-J: Okay, you gave me fucking wings for arms, and they don't even work! I can't even fuck anymore cause these huge fucking things stop me from getting on top of anything! How the fuck did I even get here? Why can I talk? WHY DO I EVEN EXIST?
Dr. James: So… no piggyback?