rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be kept in a standard fireproof containment locker at Site ██. No sources of spark or fire are to be brought within ten feet of SCP-XXXX while it is contained. Study of SCP-XXXX in its unlit state is allowed only with the written permission of Dr.█████. Study of SCP-XXXX and SCP-XXXX-1 must take place in a locked room with appropriate warnings posted on the door. When studying SCP-XXXX or SCP-XXXX-1, no metal objects and no sources of spark, flame or heat are to be brought into the room. No substance other than SCP-XXXX-1 is to be placed in SCP-XXXX, as this results in the immediate incineration of the person who did so. Testing of SCP-XXXX when SCP-XXXX-1 has been discontinued as of October 3rd, 20[00].


SCP-XXXX appears to be an elaborately decorated thurible, made of gilded and silvered brass. It comprises a bottom half and a top half, which come apart. Four chains are attached to the bottom half and to a small decorated brass circle which has a handle for swinging the thurible. The top half comes to a point and is decorated with a cross.

SCP-XXXX contains approximately 10 grams of a pale yellow, resinous incense (designated SCP-XXXX-1). This can be lit and appears to burn like ordinary incense, but is never completely consumed by burning, and regenerates after it is extinguished. It will only burn while it is in the thurible. SCP-XXXX-1 can be removed and replaced, but attempting to place a substance other than SCP-XXXX-1 into the thurible will result in the immediate and total incineration of the person who did so, leaving only a pile of ash.

When burned, SCP-XXXX gives off a thick, musty-smelling smoke.

Persons who are exposed to the smoke generated by SCP-XXXX-1, with the exception of the person holding SCP-XXXX, become subject to symptoms which prevent the subject from viewing, hearing or vocalizing anything related to violence or human sexuality. Subjects are blinded when attempting to view such material, and have violent fits of choking when they attempt to swear or discuss anything related to sexuality. If the subject attempts to perform any sexual act, the parts of their body they use break out in redness and blisters consistent with second-degree burns. Finally, if the subject attempts to perform any violent act, they fall subject to convulsions, often requiring hospitalization. As far as research has been able to determine, the subject's thoughts are not directly censored.

The following post-test interview gives a reasonably comprehensive overview of SCP-XXXX's effects on human subjects. The subject was a ██-year-old male chosen for testing due to a preoccupation with pornography and a tendency towards excessive profanity.

Dr █████: I understand you’ve been experiencing some, ah, symptoms since your test yesterday with SCPXXX. Could you tell me about those, please?

Subject: I go blind sometimes, like my eyes are all full of black smoke. I can even smell it, just like the shi… [coughing] like the stuff that came outta that burner thing you made me smell.

Dr █████: First, let’s talk about this apparent inability to use profanity. This began immediately after your test?

Subject: S: Yeah. I can’t swear. Can’t say nothing about… about… you know.

Dr █████: No, I don’t know. Could you demonstrate, please?

Subject: Fu… [choking], sh… [choking]… look, I just can’t swear. Or talk about, about, about… s-e-x, okay, you little pus… [choking]. If I try to, I start gagging. And no, I’m not gonna show you again.

Subject: Fuck [choking]… hell [choking]… fine, HECK no, that’s not all. Look at my hands! Your [choking]… Your burner thing did this to me, and those ain’t the only parts of me that got burnt!

Dr █████: Where else were you burned?

Subject: None of your business! Besides, if I talk about it it will fu… [choking]… it will burn me some more!

Dr █████: I need to know all of your symptoms, ███████ Please tell me where else you were burned.

Subject: Let’s just say I have a really hard time taking a pi… [choking] What, seriously, dude? I can’t even say p…[choking] Okay fine. FINE. I have a really hard time urinating.

Dr █████: So you’re saying your genital organs show redness and blistering similar to what I can see on yourhands?

Subject: Yes. You need me to show you?

Dr █████: No, I’m only collecting your verbal data at this point. So when did your symptoms start?
Subject: Well, the blindness thing started right away, almost. That chick who did the test, whatshername, she came up and was gonna ask me questions except all of a sudden the whole room was full of black smoke and I couldn’t se a d… no, NO! I didn’t mean it! [several deep breaths]… couldn’t se a thing. But it was only when I looked at her that the smoke came. Everywhere else I looked, it was all gone.

Dr █████: Mmhmm, so the episodes of blindness started immediately after the test. When did the burning and blistering start?

Subject: After I got back to my room.

Dr █████: And what were you doing when this happened?

Subject: Reading.

Dr █████: And what were you reading?

Subject: Just reading. [pause] Reading a magazine, okay? [pause] Look, why do you give a… aaaah! [several deep breaths] Why do you care what I was reading?

Dr █████: Just answer the question please, as clearly as you are able.

Subject: Fine, fine. I was reading a fuc… [choking] I was reading a goddam [choking] I was reading a porno mag, okay? Trying to, anyway. Went blind as soon as I got to the good stuff. That a good enough answer, you pervert?

Dr █████: Yes, that will suffice. Were you… how shall I put this? Were you doing anything other than, uh, reading?

Subject: No.

Dr █████: Did the burns start immediately after the episode of blindness?

Subject: Yeah, I guess.

Dr █████: ███████, I need you to answer as clearly as possible. When, exactly, did your hands and genitals begin to display their current symptoms?

Subject: When I was reading, like I said. You deaf or something?

Dr █████: But I would imagine you stopped, uh, reading, once the episode of blindness occurred. Was that when you were burned?

Subject: Okay, okay, fine. Think about this, Einstein. What do people usually do when they look at pornos? Hey, I can say porno! Hah! Porno! Hah!

Dr █████: Please, Blank, let’s remain on topic. As you were saying?

Subject: Yeah, yeah, fine. So obviously I couldn’t look at the mag, right, ‘cause I kept going blind. So I… look, this is really none of your da… [choking] fu.. [choking] godda… [choking, followed by vomiting].

Dr █████: Could we get a cleanup in room ███, please? Now, ███████, perhaps if you could refrain from attempting to use profanity? This will be over more quickly if you just answer clearly and concisely.

Subject: Fine, fine. Look, can I just go now? I feel like… No, no, no! I wasn’t gonna say it! [deep breaths].

Dr █████: No, you may not leave until this interview is complete. Now, you were telling me what happened to your hands and your…

Subject: Dude, you say geni… [choking] you say that word again, I’m gonna put your lights out. [choking, followed by more vomiting]. Oh that’s great. That’s just great. Looks like violence sets it off too.

Dr █████: Interesting. So, given your reluctance to discuss your, er, reading activities, may I safely assume that you were masturbating?

Subject: Yes. YES, I was jerk…[choking]. And all of a sudden my hands and my d… I’m not going to say it! You can’t make me talk about this, you see what it does!

Dr █████: Yes, it’s very interesting. So you began to masturbate, and then…

At this point, the subject attempted to punch Dr Blank, at which point he fell to the floor in what appeared to be a seizure. The interview has been suspended pending the subject’s recovery.

SCP-XXXX was recovered from ███████ █████, a priest at █████ ████ Catholic School in ████████, after a rash of suicides and suicide attempts among the older students.

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