Troys Love Of Dog Butts Is Not Healthy And We Need To Talk

This chart uses the Chambliss Produce Distress Scale to compare relative inadequacies in the current writing of each SCP. This scale categorizes the degree of problem that each marked SCP has by comparing them to fruit, on a five-point scale from least troublesome to most:

Pear: Low-level complications; minor phrasing issues, could use some cleanup, low-priority. Slightly misshapen, otherwise still delicious.
Grapefruit: An acquired taste. Still not as good as you remembered. Quite noticeably needs work.
Cucumber: Decent idea, can be turned into something excellent with an investment of effort, time, and dill.
Avocado: Vaguely functional at best. Capable of executing the given idea only when heavily processed and cilantro is added. Best with nachos. Do not touch otherwise. Probably only still available due to shilling by agribusiness lobbyists.
Jicama: Of the devil. Burn all traces. Leave nothing behind. Or rewrite, I guess.

SCP	Author	Rating	CPDS Analysis	Problem	Details
SCP-801	ProfSnider	+24	Pear	Structure	Lede buried too deep. Anomalous features of item not described until eighth paragraph of description.
SCP-802	SpoonOfEvil	+62	Pear	Tone	Just fucks me up with adverbs and weird phrasing. "The music is constantly skipping and stuttering, as if being played on an antique vinyl record player in poor condition."
SCP-804	Sorts	+267	Pear	Tone	Use of first-person plural in Description. Actual description and recovery information is all jumbled up in the Description.
SCP-805	Aura Vesta	+65	Pear	Tone	Overuse of expungement.
SCP-807	DrClef	+108	Cucumber	Tone	Pretty lolfoundationy. Cute but goofily written. Could be rewritten into something more serious, but would probably lose its charm.
SCP-809	kabu	+47	Cucumber	Plot	Misunderstanding of mental illness, use of "amnesiac", use of an SCP on captured prisoners as an "enhanced interrogation" tool
SCP-812	HK-016	+45	Grapefruit	Plot	Lolfoundation researcher note at the end.
SCP-815	kabu	+52	Pear	Tone	Lolfoundation researcher note at the end.
SCP-816	DStecks	+98	Grapefruit	Tone	Whole description reads like a NatGeo article.
SCP-817	Alias Pseudonym	+38	Pear	Tone	Iffy redactions.
SCP-819	Bremma	+71	Pear	Tone	Random 05 note in the middle. Sort of a dumb article, that notwithstanding.
SCP-820	pooryoric	+67	Cucumber	Tone	Heavy overuse of expungement.
SCP-825	JonnyD	+40	Avocado	Tone	Sucks from balls to brasseire. Also the rest of it.
SCP-829	Quikngruvn	+20	Grapefruit	Tone	Overuse of expungement. Sort of a questionable plot, too.
SCP-832	Inglonias	+60	Jicama	Everything	It's an anomalous item.
SCP-833	Anaxagoras	+83	Pear	Tone	Minor shit, adverbs, interview log could be touched up.
SCP-834	DrBright	+90	Cucumber	Tone	The Description has two full sentences. Grammar shit. Too many redactions.
SCP-841	kabu	+66	Avocado	Everything	Anomalous Item with bells. Misformatted. SCP's name is included in the document. Random GOI insert.
SCP-842	Wrisk	+63	Pear	Expungements	Goofy expungements.
SCP-843	kabu	+58	Grapefruit	Plot, Expungements	Cute anomalous item. Could use less expungement
SCP-850	kabu	+48	Grapefruit	Expungements,tone	I think it sounds like super stilted prose. Either way, too much expungement.
SCP-859	Aelanna	+40	Avocado	Expungements, plot, shittiness	Anomalous item with bells. Overuse of expungements.