Useless Desk

Item #: SCP-XXX

Object class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-XXX is to be contained in a 5x5 storage chamber at Site-██, under constant surveillance. Two(2) security personnel are to be stationed outside XXX's containment chamber at all times. See addendum XXX-1.


SCP-XXX does not have a specific form; it constantly fluctuates when not under direct or electronic observation, within certain preset parameters. Testing has determined that SCP-XXX can only shift into forms meeting the following criteria:

It must be meant for storage purposes. (Ex: A chest of drawers, a filing cabinet)

It must be in medium to low condition.

It must be made of metallic, wooden, or [DATA EXPUNGED] materials. (So far, observed materials include steel, iron, pine, oak, elm, [DATA EXPUNGED.])

So far, XXX has assumed the following forms:

One polished oak wardrobe.
One full-sized oaken set of drawers.
One four-drawer filing cabinet.
One set of cheap, white plastic drawers.
One oaken, claw-foot table with two drawers.
One [REDACTED] set of wall-mounted cabinets containing [EXPUNGED].

When objects are placed inside any of SCP-XXX's compartments, they will vanish as soon as SCP-XXX is left unobserved, reappearing somewhere in the area surrounding SCP-XXX. SCP-XXX's effective range is ██ kilometers, but SCP-XXX seems to be unable to manifest objects outside of the facility it is contained in.

If a pair of matching objects is placed inside SCP-XXX, XXX's effects change. See Testing Log XXX-1.

SCP-XXX was acquired by the Foundation in 19██ by Dr. ████, who was shopping at a garage sale in ████ ████. Dr. ████ happened upon SCP-XXX, then in the form of an ordinary office filing cabinet, and inquired about it to the elderly homeowner, wishing to purchase it.

The homeowner immediately explained to Dr. ████ that it was 'cursed' and 'bedeviled,' and that he 'hadn't been able to put nothing in that piece of ████ for years.' The homeowner would not divulge further information about XXX, but did agree to sell it to Dr. ████.

However, SCP-XXX's anomalous properties were not discovered til the following morning, when Dr. ████ placed XXX in his office. After storing several important documents related to the recently updated security system inside XXX, Dr. ████ exited his office for lunch.

At this point, XXX's effects manifested, resulting in relocation of the documents to Dormitory D5. There, D-Class personnel discovered the documents, using their contents to breach security. This resulted in a minor containment breach, during which two Euclid-level SCP objects escaped. Both were recaptured without incident.

Log of tests with SCP-XXX:

Log XXX-1:

Item: 1x pair of ███████ brand sneakers.
SCP Form: Chest of drawers.
Result: Left shoe vanished, did not reappear. Right shoe placed inside XXX again. Right shoe was ejected at ██ MPH, killing D-5411 instantly.

Note: Did I say you could use my shoes for this test? - Dr. Page

Item: 1x pair of cotton Athletic socks.
SCP Form: Chest of drawers.
Result: Left sock vanished. Right sock unaffected. Left sock did not reappear. SCP-XXX was closed again with right sock still inside. Subject D-5411 instructed to reopen. Right sock, freshly laundered, was neatly folded inside.

Item: D-9131.
SCP Form: Wardrobe.

Note: As soon as we clean up the entrails, I'm going to find out who thought human testing with SCP-XXX was a good idea, and when I do, we'll see how YOU handle the experience. After all, it's for science, right? - Dr. Page

Item: 1x can of gasoline
SCP Form: Filing Cabinet.
Result: Item manifested in Incinerator Room 5. As a result, item fell into Incinerator 5-2. Unfortunately, toxic byproducts of previous tests with other SCPs were also being incinerated at the time. [DATA EXPUNGED] resulting in four deaths.

Note: Okay, so now we know that incinerating gasoline and anomalous chemical materials at the same time is a Bad Idea. In addition, we've killed four people. Now that we've gotten past Chemistry 101, perhaps we could run some tests that have a point? I mean, I know it's stretching your intellectual capabilities to come up with a safe test, but [EXPUNGED] me, is it really THAT HARD? - Dr. Page

Item: Dr. Page
SCP Form: Wardrobe
Result: [EXPUNGED] above Incinerator 5-2 [DATA REDACTED] resulting in the unfortunate loss of Dr. Page and four D-Class personnel who happened to be passing by at the time.

End testing log XXX-1.

Addendum XXX-1: As of 08/04/20██, two security personnel are to be stationed outside XXX's containment chamber at all times. We do not need another researcher trying to recreate the wardrobe scene from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. With our luck, it might work this time. - Dr. Strong

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